Dear Thelma: My ex's emotional abuse has made me mentally unstable

Thelma helps a successful single woman who is in a vulnerable mental state because of the mental abuse she suffered in her last relationship.

I broke up with my boyfriend last year, and to be honest, I am glad that it ended.

All I can remember about that relationship was the days I cried myself to sleep, the emotional abuse and financial issues. I helped my ex sort out his financial issues and I know that he is still struggling with it.

Because of him, I almost ended up with serious financial issues but before that happened, I decided to end the relationship because of the mental torture he caused me.

I am slowly recovering but the fear of relationships is still there.

Whenever my parents talk about marriage, I get anxious.

Just like other women, I do want to have a family of my own but the fear of attachment is too extreme for me to manage.

Thelma, I am not materialistic but I don’t want to be in debt beyond what I can manage. And if the emotional abuse happens again, I know I might hurt myself.

My ex has no idea what he has done to me mentally. I don’t love him anymore, maybe I even hate him. I just want to be the old me. I just want to move on but I don’t know how.

I even thought of staying single forever but I know my parents won’t let that happen. They want me to settle down. To them, I am a successful single woman but, to me, I am a mentally unstable woman.

I just want to be at peace.

Just Want To Move On

Dear Just Want To Move On,

I’m sorry to hear you had a bad time. It’s an awful shock, isn’t it?