Dear Thelma: I feel angry, depressed and helpless to save this relationship


I have been dating my girl for nearly four-and-a-half years. We met in a chat group and starting talking to each other before I proposed to her. At that time, I was young and still in university. We have an age gap of three years (she is older) but we have never taken age as a serious factor as we were mature enough.

We are currently at the peak of our relationship and she wants to give up. I have not introduced her to my family as I haven’t established myself in life yet. We agreed to this at the beginning. I have asked for time to become someone and once it’s done, I’ll introduce her to them.Lately, both of us have been in depression.

We have bad anger management and maybe I am worse. I get angry quickly but would apologise once I’m OK. And, yes, I really regret after that. We have not spoken for a month and it’s the world against me.

We work at the same place now, and my co-workers hate me too, thinking I’m hurting her. I have never physically abused her. I have always loved her deep in my heart. She fears me now. All I did was to try and speak and make peace again.

Her family used to love me so much but now they have nothing except hatred. Is the influence against me so big that no one will take the initiative to make things right?

I have started taking depression medication but it’s not helping me.

We have been on a few holidays and she used to pay for me. When I said I’m sorry to be of no help, she says: “It’s OK, the future income of yours is all mine.” That made me a smile as I know it will all be hers. But now she says I’m using her money. This is really hurtful.

Please tell me how to save my relationship. I really love her a lot.

She calls me Motto

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