For Mohd Adli Yahya, 57, his autistic son Luqman is “perfect”.
“For normal people, it’s sometimes difficult to know what’s in their hearts. But Luqman has a very pure and innocent heart and, to me, he’s a perfect human being who doesn’t know how to lie or cheat, ” says the father of six.
Mohd Adli says that having an autistic son has taught him much about life.
“He’s changed my thinking and I’ve learnt a lot from him – especially patience, ” says Mohd Adli.
Mohd Adli recalls how it took Luqman a long time to learn how to get ready in the morning. Initially, he had to be prompted to do simple things, from brushing his teeth, to showering and getting dressed.
“He can take instructions one task at a time. But when you’re in a rush, it’s really stressful to keep prompting him. So we left him alone in the bathroom, and it took him from 8am to 3pm, to learn how to do everything by himself, ” he reveals.
“My wife was crying, saying, let’s prompt him. But I had to be cruel to be kind, so that he would learn. Gradually, the time he took decreased to five hours and then three hours. Now, it’s half an hour – which is like normal, ” he says.
“So, he can do it, but it just takes him longer to process things, ” he explains.
“But, you’ve got to create an environment where he’s able to learn. It’s not easy and there were times when I felt like throwing in the towel because it was so frustrating, ” he says.
Mohd Adli admits that while they have a great father-son relationship now, it hasn’t always been a bed of roses.
“I was pretty harsh with him in the early years because I couldn’t accept him and resented him for being different, ” he recalls.
“It was only when he was in his early teens that our relationship improved and we grew closer. But all is good now and I’m making up for lost time with whatever time I have with him now, ” he says.
“It’s natural for parents like me – who have a special child – to worry about their future and how they will survive when we’re gone. Moreover, I wanted him to be able to live life to the fullest despite being autistic, ” he says.
He reveals that he felt troubled when he noticed families with special needs children, or even differently-abled adults being “left out from life”.
“Imagine them spending their entire life at home – wake, eat, sleep, wake, eat, sleep. That’s not a life, ” he says. "Life is playing with friends, going to work, earning an income, and being independent. And I wanted my son to experience all this to his full capacity as much as he’s able to.”
Windows of opportunity
Autistic individuals often struggle to communicate and if their social skills are not nurtured, it gets worse, says Mohd Adli.
“If they aren’t given opportunities, they’ll be by themselves, not interacting with others, for life, ” he says.
But Mohd Adli wanted his son Luqman, who turns 22 this year, to be able to communicate.
“Although Luqman is 90% non-verbal (non speaking), he can understand and respond when encouraged and supported, ” he says.
He reveals that the café is designed to encourage communication and learning – from not using a menu, to not allowing calculators. When a customer comes into the cafe, they’ll ask, what’s on the menu, and the autistic youth will have to communicate.
All the waiters, kitchen helpers, chefs, and cashiers at the cafe are autistic, but they do have an abled supervisor to oversee operations for safety reasons.
The café has had a good success rate in helping the autistic youth, says Mohd Adli.
“Our first success was Hon Kit. When he came to the café in his late teens, he was unfriendly and non-responsive. But training and supporting these special youth 200% and reinforcing every small improvement does make a difference, ” he says.
After six months at the café, Hon Kit was able to tell the café founder whom he fondly refers to as “uncle” that he wanted to apply for a job outside.
“We don’t keep the youth at the café. Once we see them improve to a certain level, they’re encouraged to go out. There’s a whole new world for them to explore, so we can’t be selfish even though we wish they could stay, ” says Mohd Adli.
Then, three years ago, while Mohd Adli was at the supermarket with Luqman, buying groceries, someone tapped on his shoulder.
He was surprised to see Hon Kit, and even more surprised when Hon Kit started talking: “I’m working here now, doing bakery.”
“He was quite articulate, like a non-autistic person!” he recalls.
“It’s so fulfilling when you see how you’ve changed a person’s life, and for the better. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I almost cried, ” he says.
Last year, Hon Kit, now in his early 20s, texted him and revealed that he’s applying to be a data entry executive.
“His progress is very fast and I’m so happy at how he’s grown, ” says Mohd Adli.
Formula for success
The Autistic Café Project is launching its very own premises at Da Men Mall in Subang Jaya, Selangor, on Saturday (April 3).
From a sponsored space in Puchong, the cafe moved to another similar space at SACC Mall Shah Alam, but both premises didn’t have kitchen facilities, and the food had to be prepared ahead of time and brought from home, then served to customers by autistic youth on duty at the cafe.
Mohd Adli reveals that they have a simple formula for success.
“We don’t look at their disability, but rather at their ability, ” he says.
Job descriptions are tailor-made to each youth’s ability and progress is gauged on an individual basis. They don’t have a time frame for the youth to develop because each one is different and develops at a different rate.
Since it first launched over four years ago, 42 autistic youth have been trained through the café.
“Not once did any of them have any meltdowns or tantrums, ” he says. “Our method is simple: we focus on their ability and encourage them to work at what they like. We don’t force them to do things they don’t like.”
Mohd Adli cites his son Luqman, as an example.
“Since he loves repetitive tasks, we got him to make bracelets which are sold at the café. It was challenging because his fine motor skills, needed for picking up the beads, are weak. But with practice, he’s improved and is even able to create his own designs now, ” he adds.
From employees to entrepreneurs
The concept of the cafe has since evolved from just providing employment to autistic youth to building entrepreneurs out of them.
“If the youth just work as employees, they’ll get paid an hourly rate, such as RM5 per hour or RM40 per day, but there’s a limit to how much they can earn that way, ” says Mohd Adli.
“So, we started catering, giving customers a list of items to select, each of which is made by the autistic youth under the guidance of their parents. They can earn more that way, ” he explains.
Before the first MCO, Luqman was able to earn RM1,400 a month from just making bracelets, while another youth employed at the cafe, Imran, hit RM1,000 making cupcakes, reveals Mohd Adli.
During the MCO, this was of course impacted, since the café couldn’t operate. But they started providing packed lunches and the response was good.
Knowing your child
Parents need to understand their special needs child and whether they’re academically-or-otherwise inclined, in order to chart a suitable course for their life.
“In Luqman’s case, the world is his school and his life skills improved in leaps and bounds when we sent him to the café, rather than to school, ” says Mohd Adli.
Although autistic individuals may take longer to do something, he believes many of them are able to learn, given the right environment and encouragement.
“Even though it took Luqman a year to learn how to ‘construct’ a plate of nasi lemak with its various ingredients, he’s able to now and I hope he’ll improve more, ” he says.
The determined father has encouraged his son to experience more from life by enrolling him in a special needs dance class at a local dance academy, and often brings him for walks in the park.
He has even taught his son how to take public transport to the café.
“Although the easiest way to get to the café was by car, taking only 15 minutes, instead, we took one and a half hours using public transport. We walked together to the LRT station and took the train there, and, to go home, we took the bus. But it was good father-son bonding time, ” he says.
The doting father shares that he followed Luqman from a distance as he walked from the LRT station to the café.
“I hid every time he turned around for reassurance, because I wanted him to learn to be confident, ” he says.
Blueprint for future
Mohd Adli aims to eventually have an Autism Café Project outlet in each state, run by other families with autistic children.
“I hope to train other families to do this. As a social enterprise, our purpose may not be commercial, but the business acumen must be there to ensure survival and growth, so training must be provided, ” he says.
For their existing café, they’re working with Community Based Rehabilitation by the Social Welfare Department for a proper succession plan.
“We’ve involved the organisation so that they can familiarise themselves with the running of the café, and take over when I’m no longer around, ” he explains.
Mohd Adli also hopes to set up a small home for autistic youth (including his son), where they can stay together and live their lives independently.
He strongly believes that special needs youth can be built into productive individuals who can contribute to society.
“When you understand them, open up opportunities for them and provide the necessary guidance, they can be a productive individual in society, ” he concludes.
Already a subscriber? Log in
Get 20% OFF The Star Digital Access
Cancel anytime. Ad-free. Unlimited access with perks.
