Women, especially mothers, are often known for being able to wear many hats and step into various roles as needed.
More so single parents as they face greater challenges, particularly when it comes to juggling both parenting and their careers without a significant other.
In conjunction with International Women’s Day tomorrow, StarMetro spoke to three entrepreneurial single mothers who overcame obstacles and emerged stronger.
Against all odds
When Lim Kim Foong was 21, she discovered that she was born without a uterus.
She was diagnosed with the rare congenital reproductive disorder called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome.
“As a teen, I didn’t menstruate like other girls and my mother could only afford to take me to clinics for check-ups.
“My condition was never diagnosed until later.
“With some savings from my part-time jobs, I visited a gynaecologist and found out that I had MRKH, which gave me closure about my condition,” said Kim Foong, 44.
She thought her dream of becoming a mother was permanently dashed.
But in a twist of fate, Kim Foong is now raising her 15-year-old nephew Joey Lim.
Her brother Lim Jen Hsian, a single father, passed away from heart failure in 2020 and she adopted her nephew soon after.
Kim Foong did not hesitate to adopt him because she had showered him with love and attention since he was born.
“I enjoyed being an aunt. We were very close.”
At the time, however, she was also just laid off from work and undergoing chemotherapy for third stage breast cancer.
“I was a workaholic and at 38, I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer,” said Kim Foong, who is the current president of Breast Cancer Welfare Association Malaysia (BCWA).
Even though she noticed a lump in her breast several years earlier, she never had it diagnosed.
Now, she is an advocate for early cancer detection and plays an active role in the association.
Kim Foong soldiered through her cancer treatment because both her nephew and elderly mother depended on her.
“In addition, my mother was also going through depression.
“I only had one option – to heal,” she said.
While she was undergoing treatment, she had to temporarily place her mother in a senior home.
It was then that Kim Foong realised that there was a lack of places for senior folk to engage in activities.
This inspired her to co-found a senior activity centre, which also offers elderly care and physiotherapy, called Kampungku-Malaysia in Section 22, Petaling Jaya.
“The seniors have a lot of fun activities at KampungkuMalaysia.
“Most senior homes look very depressing to me, so my partners and I decided to set up this centre.
“We have about 15 seniors between the ages of 70 and 90 here,” she said.
Later, they opened another centre in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur.
Kim Foong said her life had been full of obstacles, but she also saw opportunities in some areas at the same time and was grateful to be a mother.
“The role of a mother is so different from an aunt.
“I have to attend school meetings and speak to his teachers about his progress.
“I have to join him in all his activities and help him with his daily work,” she said.
“My nephew still calls me ‘aunt,’ but he says I’m like a mother to him.
“I just feel grateful to experience motherhood in this unique way. I have a more balanced life now,” she said.
Survivor story
After 12 cycles of in vitro fertilisation (IVF), Vatsala Nair Manoharan was pleasantly surprised to find herself pregnant with twin boys in 2015.
She had always dreamed of becoming a mother, but her marriage did not work out.
She was a victim of domestic abuse and did not want her sons to grow up in a toxic environment.
With that in mind, Vatsala quit her 16-year marriage last year.
“Growing up, I watched my dad abuse my mother.
“For the longest time, I thought abuse was part of marriage.
“As I learnt about domestic violence as an adult, I decided it was time to leave,” said Vatsala, 41.
After being in an abusive marriage, she went on to set up social enterprises for others in similar situations.
“Ending a marriage is not possible for many because they do not have the financial means to support themselves and their children.
“Many partners and ex- partners do not pay child support.
“Financial abuse is a serious issue,” she said.
In 2018, Vatsala created an empowerment and social enterprise called Mom’s Village, which offers an entrepreneurial programme digitally.
The platform has about 15,000 members and 750 women have benefitted from the courses offered, such as learning management system and homepreneur empowerment network.
“Before my divorce, I had a trusted circle of friends who kept me going,” said Vatsala.
As a single mother of twins, she faced challenges raising her children.
“I had to remove my sons from international school and enrol them in government schools.
“I have to scale down on many things in life because I do not receive consistent child support.
“Sometimes, I bring my sons to meetings because I have no childcare.
“It’s always a juggling act, but I don’t have many options,” she said.
Crafting was her way of relaxing.
She picked up the skill of making pregnant belly casts, where she applies wet plaster gauze over the abdomen and removes the cast once it dries.
“Unexpectedly, I ventured into the belly-casting business, which is also therapeutic for me,” said Vatsala, who has created 190 casts that brought joy to her clients.
She advises mothers in abusive relationships to first strengthen their finances.
“Always make sure you have some income. Become an e-hailing driver or get jobs that will allow you to earn money.
“Also, have a support system outside of your partner,” she stressed.
Poverty to prosperity
For Sahdatun Nazirah Zainal Abidin, she was left with only the clothes on her back and her three children when her marriage ended 15 years ago.
Looking back, however, she has no regrets.
Back then, she did not receive any child support and fighting for the money in court only led to more heartache and depression.
Sahdatun ended up homeless without the knowledge of her family and children.
“I sent my children to my mother’s house.
“My family didn’t know that I was completely broke.
“I just told my mother that I was having a difficult time and needed her help to care for them,” said Sahdatun, 46.
There was a time she stayed at Anjung Kembara, the Kuala Lumpur transit centre for the destitute.
“During the day, I would collect scrap items and clothes to sell, finding anything of value in dustbins.
“Later, I ventured into the secondhand clothing business, collecting used clothes to sell.
“When I saved up enough money, about RM1,000, I bought myself a motorcycle.
“With more savings, I rented a room and eventually I made enough to start selling tepung pelita kuih from home in 2020, and my children helped me a lot with the business.”
Despite the hardship she faced, Sahdatun, better known as Kak Tun, prioritised her children’s education because they had nothing to fall back on as a result of their financial situation.
“No matter how poor I was, I made sure my children went to school and received an education.
“I ensured they went to boarding school and took advantage of all the opportunities offered by the government.
“All my children are now pursuing higher education.
“I have two daughters and a son, aged between 21 and 25, at Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM) Shah Alam, Multimedia University and Politeknik Sultan Idris Shah.
“I consider this my greatest achievement. I want them to live a better life than I did,” she said.
Sahdatun also acquired digital skills to help improve sales.
Initially, she was not tech- savvy and did not know how to use a smartphone until she participated in the Petaling Jaya City Council (MBPJ) Entrepreneurship Programme in 2022.
“They taught me about digital marketing.
“I learned how to sell online, which was a game-changer for me.
“I am so grateful to MBPJ for imparting this valuable knowledge,” she said.
In 2023, she received an Usahawan MBPJ 2022 award.
Last year, Sahdatun ventured into the pani puri business, selling at MBPJ’s food court, D Selera @PJS 6.
She hopes to learn how to drive a lorry one day.
“I have big dreams and to achieve them, I need to learn to drive a lorry.
“I want to expand my business and I’m saving up to obtain a licence to drive it,” Sahdatun said.
