Finding romance on social media

Since he couldn’t socialise in person during the pandemic, Deny turned to social media to look for love. Photo: Filepic

It's not easy to find a life partner during the pandemic, says Deny A. Perera, 27, who is single.

“It used to be so easy to get to know someone because I could hang out with my friends on my off days and there were many opportunities to meet interesting girls,” says Deny who works in the hotel industry.

Of course, during the pandemic, and espcially when the movement control order and lockdowns are in place, that’s not possible, he says.

Deny says that he’s at home in Kuala Lumpur most of the time at the moment since his workplace is closed during the pandemic.

He has tried online dating and even though he has ‘met’ a few nice girls online, he says that they just didn’t click.

“Sometimes, people tend to put their best side forward on such dating sites.

“And, although I have friends who did meet their life partner that way and they’re happily married now, I prefer to see how a girl interacts with her friends and family members too.

To me, that’s really authentic and it shows a person’s real character,” says Deny.

“But,” he adds optimistically, “Love will always find a way.”

Since he hasn’t been able to socialise in person during the pandemic, Deny has turned to social media to look for love.

“Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp were my main ways of interacting with the outside world during the pandemic,” he says.

During the pandemic, Deny thinks that social media is a good place to socialise, make new friends, and possibly find 'the one'. Photo: Filepic

Deny literally spends a lot of time on Facebook, checking out the single girls on his friends’ profiles.

“I know it may sound creepy to some, but I’m a decent guy,” he assures.

“It’s similar to going to a party and seeing all the girls there and then accessing who to approach – except this is on social media,” he adds.

“So, I would visit my friends’ profiles and check out their (female) friend’s comments. Those who made comments that struck me – I like intelligent girls who are witty – I would then check out their profiles and if they sounded interesting, I would send them a friend request,” he says.

Deny reveals that he rarely approaches those with whom he doesn’t have a mutual friend.

“If it’s a friend of a friend, at least there’s some common ground and it won’t be so ‘weird’ to try to initiate a conversation with them,” he rationalises.

“Most girls would be wary if a stranger approaches them online, I think,” he says.

Even though Deny would like to find someone special, he is content and prefers not to rush things because he believes that 'love will happen when it’s time for it to happen'. Photo: Filepic

Have his efforts paid off?

Someone did catch his eye.

“What caught my attention was the way this girl called Annie blasted my friend in one of his posts. Her comments really made me laugh and I thought she really had spunk,” he says, adding that he then tried to find out whether she was single.

Deny messaged his friend, asking about her and was thrilled to find out that she was.

He then sent her a friend request, and was happy when she accepted.

They started chatting online and he finally decided to call her out on a date when the movement restrictions were relaxed. It was during the recovery MCO.

“We met for coffee at a cafe in town,” he says.

“This was during the pandemic so it wasn’t crowded. We were sitting some distance from each other at the table because of the SOPs,” he adds.

But even though they had a lot to talk about, there wasn’t any chemistry beyond that of a regular friendship, admits Deny.

“But I did make a new friend,” he adds as consolation. “And, no she didn’t unfriend me on Facebook.”

“During this (pandemic) time, I think that social media is a good place to socialise and make new friends. And you never know, you might find ‘the one’,” says Deny.

“Some of my friends have ‘introduced’ me to their female friends on social media and I’ve chatted with some of them as well,” he says.

“Even my mum has asked me to call this girl who is her friend’s daughter. But after a few phone conversations, we realised we didn’t seem to have much in common although we’ve added each other as friends on social media,” he adds.

Undeterred, Deny says he won’t give up on love so easily.

He says that even though he would like to find someone special, he is content and prefers not to rush things.

“Love will happen when it’s time for it to happen,” he concludes.