Dear Thelma: I can’t tolerate mum’s odd ways after her operation

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My mother had surgery a few weeks ago due to her haemorrhoids as well as fissures. It was a minor surgery so it’s not much of a worry for me and my family.

However, the surgery left a “side effect” on her. She has become more sensitive and gets irritated easily when my father and I just ask her something. She raises her voice when she wants to answer us.

We tried asking in the nicest way possible but she replied as if we did something wrong that made her angry.

I can understand that the pain from the surgery lingers which caused her to be irritated so easily, and I have tolerated her behaviour for so long.

It’s difficult, so I have resorted to writing to you for advice.

A Disappointed Teen

I’m sorry your mum has been unwell. You should know that depression and anger are a common reaction after a health issue. This is because there can be a clear link between physical and mental health.

Pain can cause depression and depression can cause pain. It’s well understood that a painful physical issue like backache, toothache, broken bones that carry on over days and weeks can cause depression.