I’m 17 and I made a bad mistake that could have changed my life completely.
It started like this. I curiously used an AI filter on (the images of) two of my friends for editing, and what was worse was that I sent it out to three other friends, causing them discomfort and making them upset with me.
I now feel all the guilt of making them uncomfortable and at the same time, I realise the editing I created could have been a sexual offence as it had some over-18 content.
I truly understand my situation, and I want to turn over a new leaf and request for forgiveness from my friends.
This is only one thing; with SPM exams pulled forward to late October, I’ve been stressed out between schoolwork, studies and family, which doesn’t help me in my case.
In fact, it makes things worse as I have more things to think of, especially when I can’t let go of the incident.
Right now, I would like to know how I can request forgiveness from my friends, and also most importantly, how I can forgive myself for such a mistake that could have sent me on a different path.
With me not forgiving myself and finding it hard to let go while coping with SPM preps, I need help in forgetting this situation as I have never done such a thing before.
I need help to gain trust from friends, to show them that I am truly sorry. But most importantly, I need help to forgive myself.
Sad and Hopeless
Thank you for writing about such a sensitive topic. You won’t like some of my suggestions but I think it’s important you read until the end.
You took your friends photos and altered them, creating either sexualised or sexually explicit images. You then passed these around.
When you were called out, you realised you may have broken the law. You want to deal with this because your emotions are interfering with your exam prep.
You haven’t explained fully what you did, so here are some possibilities.
There are popular filters that create sexualised images, especially anime. Some people use these fantasy filters for their own photos, and post them on their socials because they see the results as cute. Others find it humiliating. A few find it offensive.
I hope it was one of these filters, because then an apology will fix hurt feelings.
However, there are also filters that create sexually explicit images, filters that “undress” or “nudify”, digitally stripping clothing from photos, and tools that swap heads onto nudes, creating deepfake porn.
While men can be the target, it is most often women and girls who are victims.
Creating and distributing images of others to embarrass, degrade and humiliate is bullying. In Malaysia, possessing, creating and distributing explicit images is illegal. People can be penalised under the Penal Code and the Communications and Multimedia Act.
As you rate this potentially life-changing, I’m concerned. Therefore, I urge you to talk to your parents. You may get a scolding but you need adult support.
I hope your guilt has blown this out of proportion. Whether it has or not, your actions have led to lots of complex feelings. Moving forward requires some prep.
First, be honest about your intent. You claim curiosity. Maybe you looked at the software from curiosity but it’s not why you made or sent those images. Be honest with yourself. What exactly were you hoping for?
Understanding your intent will be painful, but it will provide you with personal growth and positive change. You may be able to do this alone, but it will be easier if you work with an adult, perhaps a therapist.
Next, focus on how your actions impacted your victims. Consider the pain they felt then and how they feel now. Like, will it upset their exam studies?
Empathy will help you with the apology and it will help you prevent future errors.
Finally, the apology. A proper apology comes in parts: saying what you did, acknowledging how it impacted on the people you hurt, apologising for doing it (without making excuses!) and promising it won’t happen again.
Because of the prep, you will be fully accountable. Most of us forgive when we see someone is truly sorry, so I expect your friends will forgive you. You’re young and we all do daft things when we’re young.
But even if not all of them forgive you, being accountable and truly sorry will allow you to forgive yourself. Then you can focus on the exams and getting on with life with a cleared conscience.
Again, thank you for bringing up this important topic. There are many people in this situation, so your story will help others.
Go tell your parents right away. You may not enjoy the fix but please take this as a learning experience. I hope the problem is not a severe one and that you can put this behind you quickly.
