INTERACTIVE: What Malaysians want in a partner

PETALING JAYA: Malaysian women prefer financially stable men when looking for a life partner. The men, on the other hand, prefer a woman who is educated and has a job.

Interestingly, almost half of Malaysian women found it necessary to stress that their prospective boyfriends must be single. Polygamy, it seems, is not an in-thing.

Education was also the top criteria for women seeking partners, but they also preferred men who were older and much taller than them.

The men, meanwhile, said they disliked shopaholics and fierce, rude, stingy and controlling women.

They also said they preferred a partner with at least a diploma. Strangely, both genders agreed on one thing, Neither side wants a partner who smokes.

While Valentine’s Day may be over, the quest for finding love and someone to share their life with, is an ongoing thing.

Those looking for a serious relationship seem to know exactly what they want for a partner, as they shared their preferences such as age, height, physical attributes, employment, education attainment and traits, on matchmaking Twitter account @TwtJodohMY.

The Star’s analysis of 140 posts on @TwtJodohMY from Jan 1 to Feb 14, 2023 found that women make up 83% of those using the platform to find a partner.

The majority, or 67%, of 111 women who shared their age were in their 20s, while 32% were in their 30s.

Of the total 116 women, 47% said that they wanted a partner who does not smoke or vape, with a few citing health reasons such as asthma.

Only one woman mentioned that she did not mind a partner who vapes, but not a smoker.

Almost half wanted men who were financially stable, or who had a permanent or stable job.

Another top criterion among 40% of the women, was that the men must be single, and not be someone’s husband, fiancée or boyfriend.

They also wanted men who were looking for a serious relationship and ready to settle down, with some saying it was preferable that they settle down as early as this year or within the next two years.

Some also said that they did not prefer divorcees.

In terms of top traits of their potential partner, women wanted men who were not short-tempered but were responsible, patient, family-oriented, funny and could communicate well.

Women also liked men who were interested in travelling, cat-lovers, coffee lovers, foodies and liked outdoor activities.

On body type and appearances, men with normal BMIs, with a pleasant appearance and neat, were the top listed demands.

Out of the 24 posts by men, more than half of them said they preferred women who worked.

A quarter of the men were looking for women who had obtained a tertiary education.

Among the other top criteria were women who were interested in sports, outdoor activities, hiking and jogging.

In terms of traits, men preferred women who were respectful and good with the elderly and those who are soft spoken.

Other traits men wanted in a partner were women who were understanding, independent, matured, patient, easy-going, family-oriented, who loved children and could communicate well.

Over the past year, at least 40 couples have ended up in marriage, after being introduced through @TwtJodohMY.

This included 10 couples who had tied the knot this year after knowing one another for about a year or more.

They shared their marriage photos on @TwtJodohMY to thank the platform for introducing them.

Salam @TwtJodohMY terima kasih temukan jodoh kami HAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA https://t.co/nDbafDp20O pic.twitter.com/ft9VG2nRYV — (@rabieaunie) January 6, 2023

Housewife who only wanted to be known as Aunie, 28, said that what started as a challenge from her friends to post her profile on @TwtJodohMY ended in her finding her soulmate.

"I was not really very serious about finding a partner through @TwtJodohMY.

" I was actually challenged by a friend because I keep failing in relationships, " she told The Star.

Aunie said she received a lot of messages from men who were interested to get acquainted.

"I actually told my now husband who contacted me after the @TwtJpdohMY post that I just wanted to be friends, but then our personalities clicked and after six months of getting to know each other, he proposed to me," she said.

Aunie and husband, Fikri tied the knot in November, 2022.

Aunie said she was lucky that she found the top criteria she was looking for in her partner.

"I was looking for someone who is from the Northern state because I live in Kedah, so I guess I did find the one that matched my criteria! " she said.

@TwtJodohMY, has 94,300 followers and since its inception on Sept 2018, it has provided a platform for single men and women to search for their better half.

The account will retweet posts that tag them, allowing the individuals to have more exposure to @TwtJodohMy’s followers (and the followers of their followers who retweet them) who are interested in finding a partner.

It outlines simple rules, such as the individuals must have an active Twitter account, use their own profile picture and outline their personal details, as well as the preference of their potential partners.

They can also include a photo of themselves, if they wish to.

It strictly rules against those trying to play around or with newly created accounts.

Interested individuals who match the profile can then drop them a message either via Twitter, Instagram or other means provided.

While @TwtJodohMY may not be for everyone, singles who are into books can also try to meet a potential partner through a singles book club called kelabbuku.singles.

Its first event was hosted on June 2022, and the club organises an event every two months, with an average of 10 people per session.

“I think this is a different way to meet people partly because it's structured, so there's less of that awkward first-date feeling,” Kelab Buku Singles founder Al Ibrahim told The Star.

He said that the books are used as a substitute so that people do not need to talk about their selves directly.

“The whole point is using a book as a proxy for yourself, which -- at least in theory -- would make it easier to be more open and vulnerable, and thus create a space where you're more likely to make more genuine connections,” he said.

Al added that some common others that have made repeated appearances during their events were Malcolm Gladwell and Terry Pratchett.

“Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak is a book that has appeared twice -- both times, heavily tabbed,” he said.

The club’s next event is in March at its usual venue, the Zhongshan building in Kampung Attap, Kuala Lumpur.

Others who are interested in speed dating can also join buthonestly.co events, which hosts events that are group oriented and using game cards to get to know one another.

Their events use conversation prompt cards that also facilitates vulnerability.