Interracial marriage makes Chinese New Year celebration unique for some

Ong (fourth from left), Mohd Ermi (third from left) and their daughter Ellysha Nur Iman, 2, taking a group picture with the rest of the Ong family in Kuching. — Photo courtesy of Jacqueline Ong.

ONE OF the most meaningful aspects of Chinese New Year is how traditions surrounding the festival promote familial unity and togetherness.

For some families, that sense of togetherness even transcends racial differences, reflecting the strength of interracial harmony enjoyed by Malaysians.

There are many examples of unions between Malay and Chinese families, where compromise and mutual respect for cultural and religious sensitivities allow both sides to celebrate the festivals in peace.

Harmony out of discord

The story of how Chinese-born Latifah Liew Abdullah, 65, met and married her husband is indeed a unique one.

They started out as neighbours at the Suleiman Courts, an apartment complex in Kuala Lumpur that was later replaced by the Sogo shopping complex in 1986.

The May 13 racial riots of 1969 separated them as a fear of racial violence in Kuala Lumpur caused his family to move away to a relative’s home, but he later returned after tensions died down to marry her.

Dewi Kartini (second from right), with Latifah (right), Ekuan Nazriq (third from right), daughter Ella Demika, 1 (second from left) and nephew Muhammad Umar Rusdi, 9, at their home in Klang.

“My family did not question my decision to marry him.

“My mother was worried about not being able to take certain types of meat when I converted to Islam, but my father said it was my choice,” said Latifah, whose family now resides in Klang.

Today, Chinese New Year celebrations are never a problem for the Muslim family or their Chinese relatives because it is Latifah who usually insists on cooking for the whole family, whipping up a mix of Malay dishes and halal Chinese dishes.

Latifah’s youngest daughter, Dewi Kartini Selamat, 37, who goes by the nickname ‘Kiki’ is also married to someone who is no stranger to interracial harmony.

Her husband, Ekuan Nazriq Abd Ghalim, 33, said his own extended family has traces of Bugis, Javanese, Chinese and Thai blood.

“I feel that in Malaysia, everyone should respect each other because we live in a multiracial country, where we get to learn and understand everyone’s culture,” he said.

He added that such values ought to be instilled in children through their parents from a young age, and also that it was important for the nation’s leaders to set a good example to the citizens.

Finding compromise

For Jacqueline Ong, 37, one of the advantages of being married to someone of a different race is that they never have to quarrel over whose turn it is to visit the other’s hometown during festive seasons.

“Hari Raya is exclusively his, while Chinese New Year is exclusively mine,” said Ong, who is known to her in-laws as Alliyah Maisarah Abdullah.

Having been married for 11 years, the usual routine for them during Chinese New Year is to fly back to her hometown in Kuching for the reunion dinner.

Her husband, personal trainer Mohd Ermi Dzulkifli, 44, admitted that it took time for Ong’s mostly Christian family to learn about Muslim restrictions while they were dating but they eventually got the hang of it after developing a better understanding of Islam.

“Islam never stopped anyone from connecting with their families of different religions as we still need to respect our parents,” said Ong.

“We are practising Muslims, but at the same time, I never forget my cultural roots. Besides, Chinese New Year is a cultural celebration and not a religious one.”

Sabrina (centre, in red) and her husband Ahmad Taufiqq (back, right) with her father Adam Salimon, mother Humaira Wong Abdullah and sister Shahira Adam (standing, left). — Photo courtesy of Sabrina Wong Adam.

The importance of acceptance

Born to a Malay father and a Chinese mother, Sabrina Wong Adam, 29, was brought up with values of acceptance, tolerance, and the belief in having freedom to choose.

She said that the families of both parents were quite supportive of their union and easily accepted each other, and with 13 siblings on her mother’s side of the family, Chinese New Year celebrations can be rather large reunions.

Sabrina’s family celebrates at their hometown in Ipoh every year, and for the past two years, her husband Ahmad Taufiqq Munir, 29, has been joining in the celebrations.

“It is a happy time and they take good care of us.

“They will normally bring us to halal restaurants to celebrate our Chinese New Year eve reunion dinner,” she said.

She said that while some of their non-Muslim relatives do consume non-halal foods and alcohol, they know well enough not to offer any of it to them and provide clean cutlery and utensils for the Muslim family to use.

“Their attitude makes us feel comfortable and safe to be around them.

“The most important thing is that they make us feel comfortable with our practices without compromising the whole family’s quality time together,” she added.

Ahmad Taufiqq admitted that he had initial doubts and concerns about his Chinese in-laws prior to meeting them, but their welcoming attitude put his mind at ease.

“Her family was quite welcoming and are very friendly to me, thus I do not feel awkward and it is so easy to mingle with them,” he said.

With their five-month-old daughter celebrating her first Chinese New Year with the family, he added that he was looking forward to this year’s festivities.