It is likely the Malaysian wedding of the year, perhaps even the decade. On Oct 10, 2026, Syed Saddiq Syed Abdul Rahman and Bella Astillah (Dayang Nabellah Awang Astillah in full) solemnised their marriage on the 118th floor of the Merdeka 118 tower (now called Menara Merdeka Maybank). Wedding guests included top-ranking politicians and celebrities from the entertainment world. And if you couldn’t attend, you could have caught a live broadcast of the ceremony as part of an eight-episode television special.
This is the culmination of a four-year journey that began with a meet cute at a radio station when he said hello to her and she asked him for a selfie. Then he appeared in her music video, and later they climbed Mount Kinabalu together in Raya clothes. Their romance reached new heights when they climbed the mountain again in January 2026, where he proposed at the summit.
Which made me wonder: Would this couple have been identified as a potential match on Singapore’s new dating app, FirstDate?
If you have not heard of it, FirstDate was launched recently by Singapore’s Government Technology Agency as a dating platform designed to curb “swipe fatigue”. Users complete a comprehensive questionnaire covering their lifestyle habits, interests, values, and strict dealbreakers. The prompts include questions like “What food do you like to eat?” and “Where do you want to go for a holiday?”
Using mathematical algorithms, the platform presents matches based on compatibility. Then the lucky couple gets government-funded vouchers to cover the cost of a meal in the food haven that is Singapore.
The island state actually has a long history of playing matchmaker for its citizens. In 1984, the Social Development Unit (SDU) was formed to improve the population’s demographics. This was when then Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew warned that the nation’s talent pool would be depleted if well-educated citizens, especially graduate women, remained single and had no children.
By providing matchmaking services, talks, courses, dances, and boat cruises, the programme achieved some success – there were just over 10,000 marriages through SDU efforts between 1984 and 2006.
But this represented only a small proportion of the approximately 500,000 marriages in that period. On top of every-thing, some Singaporeans felt that if a person needed to depend on an SDU initiative to find a mate, it might be because they were Single, Desperate, and Ugly.
Despite this, the Singapore government hasn’t stopped trying to play matchmaker, especially given the nation’s fertility rate last year dropped to its lowest since independence.
FirstDate’s objective is to match people with similar interests using clever algorithms. Yet we must ask: Is matching shared interests the best way to ensure a long-lasting relationship? Sometimes, making something great requires two entirely different elements – less like a betel nut divided in two, and more like a lonely spoonful of sago waiting for its dash of gula melaka.
Indeed, a stronger predictor of a long and conflict-free marriage is a healthy dating period and the couple’s ability to make mature decisions about their future together. It is not about someone crashing at your place for a few nights that accidentally turns into a few months. If the courtship period is long enough to outlast the initial phase of intense romance, a couple’s behaviour can reliably indicate what their future married life will entail.
How does the couple navigate disagreements? Do they work collaboratively to find a solution, or do they become so angry that their heart rates and adrenaline spike, leading to a blowout?
In 1993 and 1994, Dr John Gottman and Robert Levenson videotaped couples engaging in 15-minute discussions about an ongoing relationship disagreement. They noted that in stable, satisfied marriages, the ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict discussions is at least five to one.
For every “I hate that you do this”, there must be an “I understand what you mean”, a willingness to listen, an effort to focus on the problem rather than attacking the person, a touch of humour, and perhaps a reassuring hug. If only our parliamentarians would take this advice.
So if you really want to know if a couple is well-suited, you shouldn’t just be paying for their dinner and seeing if they get along. You should put couples in difficult situations and observe how they cope with stress.
By all means, send them on an all-expenses-paid holiday to Bali. But upon arrival, reveal that their dream villa has been double- booked and they must camp on the beach.
Yes, it sounds like the plot of a romcom. But it serves as a proper stress test. Getting through it successfully forms the foundation of a strong partnership, as well as providing a great story for the wedding dinner.
I am not advocating that you intentionally throw yourself and your betrothed into crisis after crisis. However, life naturally presents stressful situations: travelling together, changing jobs, or deciding what to wear for a nationally televised wedding.
The challenges Syed Saddiq and Bella navigated in the years preceding their marriage clearly fall into this category. Syed Saddiq faced a highly publicised court case for corruption and money laundering, for which he was ultimately acquitted. Meanwhile, Bella finalised a public divorce and secured full custody of her children. Proposing after an arduous climb up Mount Kinabalu may be unconventional, but it certainly fits the theme of overcoming obstacles together.
If they handled those stressful situations with good humour and a positive attitude, and can look back on them as events that strengthened their relationship, it indeed augurs very well for their future together.
