When someone is struggling with an eating disorder, even well-meaning comments about food, weight or appearance can add to their distress. Focus on concern, health and emotional support rather than judgement.
Here’s what to avoid and what you could say instead to help them.
An eating disorder is not simply a refusal to eat. Restriction, bingeing and purging can be linked to fear, anxiety, distress and a need for control.
Say: “I know it’s difficult for you. We’re here if you need help.”
Don’t turn mealtimes into a battle or food into a source of confrontation.
Say: “We can work together to help you eat healthily.”
Keep the focus on health and wellbeing rather than weight.
Say: “Your body needs enough nourishment to restore your energy, growth and health.”
Blame increases shame and makes the young person less willing to talk about what they’re experiencing.
Say: “You’re not alone. We’ll get through this together.”
Eating disorders affect the whole family, but reminding a young person they’re causing distress makes them feel guilty and like a burden.
Say: “We’re here for you, no matter how difficult it gets.”
Recovery can’t always be judged by appearance. Don’t make weight gain or weight loss the measure of progress.
Say: “You seem less tired, and you’re taking steps towards recovery.”
Comparisons only reinforce feelings of inadequacy and body dissatisfaction.
Say: “We love and accept you, so we want you to be healthy and well.”
Source: Within Health & Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association
