At 84 and 83, VV George and G. Thanda are as lively and sharp as ever, chatting and joking over breakfast at a local Indian restaurant in Petaling Jaya, Selangor. Former colleagues at the Sultan Ibrahim Secondary School Pasir Mas, Kelantan, in the early 1960s, George and Thanda have successfully maintained a steady friendship for over 60 years now.
“I remember walking into school for the first time, and how it was George who first greeted me,” Thanda says, of his first posting as a teacher at age 23, after qualifying from the Malayan Teachers College in Penang. “I didn’t know then that he was the vice-principal whom I had to report to!”
Thanda says: “George was very popular. Even though he was VP, he never threw his weight around – although he did force me to play some of the games that he liked! For instance, he wanted me to play hockey even though I didn’t know how. He said, ‘Never mind, just stand at the goal post’!
“That’s one of the things that brought us together,” George interjects, “games like cricket, hockey, rugby, volleyball. The teachers would all come together to play every evening – Malay, Chinese, Indian, even teachers from the Peace Corps and the Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO). For many of us, Pasir Mas was our first posting, the first time we were far away from home, so we became really good friends this way.”
Thanda adds that their relationships then went beyond just being friends in those formative years of adulthood. “It was more like a family. We were staying close to each other at the teachers’ quarters and hostel. We developed a bond and our feelings have remained very strong.”
Thanda adds that both George and he share a love for socialising too. “George is the one who organises meet-ups, even today. Back then, he was the only one with a car! The moment he called, we’d all be ready to go!
“It was a white Volkswagen – BK3225 – I still remember the number,” chimes in George.
According to them, they also developed close friendships with officers in other government departments like the police, public works and local hospital in Pasir Mas and Kota Baru. Many of their students from the 1960s have also remained in close contact, and often organise meetups for everyone.
“Our former students have done very well and are now professors, engineers, doctors and businessmen. They still have great respect for us. They always say that their success in life is due to us, their teachers then at SISS, Pasir Mas,” says George, beaming with pride.
“A couple of our students, Mahadi Hassan and Tan Bin Sin, play tennis, so whenever they call George for a game, George will ask me to come along, of course, and then we all go for a game together,” says Thanda. Yes, these 80something grandpas are still playing tennis till today!
George and Thanda’s families have grown to become friends as well, and over the years the men have often visited each other even when they lived far apart. They share that some of their group have passed on, and that some have debilitating ailments that prevent them from going out. “But that’s the thing about our friendship, when one of us is unwell, the rest will go and visit and encourage them,” says George.
Though many things have changed over the years – jobs, families, health, environment and even governments – Thanda says one thing has remained constant: “The way we approach each other, our feelings, and how we talk to each other feels the same as it was on Day 1.”
They describe themselves as “friends for life” and make every effort to keep the friendship going, meeting without fail every month. George adds that with WhatsApp, keeping in touch has become so much easier. “Thanda sends me a ‘Good Morning’ message every day,” he says, and Thanda retorts “Not just you, I send out the message to 70 others, too.”
Choir buddies
“Eh, we were both in Assunta Primary School and we never knew. Were you in School 1 or School 2?” Victoria Law asks her long-time friend Pan Swee Chin.
While the ladies were born and bred in Petaling Jaya, and even attended the same school, it wasn’t until 1985 that they actually became fast friends.
“We met on a production. Was it Guys And Dolls? Hello Jerry?” Law says, running through a list of musicals that they had been together. “I remember auditioning in 1984 for Rhapsody In Rhythm but I think I didn’t know you until the next year, right? I was just 19 then!”
Both Law and Pan are passionate performers, and after all these years, are still affiliated with the The Philharmonic Society of Selangor (The Phil), the group that first brought them together.
Law’s husband, Jeffrey Ong, is another old chum, as are many other choir members, such as Mervyn Peters, Wong Wing Thim, Edna Tan and Tunku Sara Ahmad. “It’s one of the great things about The Phil – we are very much a potpourri of people. We have always had members from all races and nationalities, and all walks of life, yet it’s been so easy to make and keep friends. Everyone is really down-to-earth and there’s absolutely no snobbery. There have indeed been many firm friendships forged at The Phil,” Pan shares.
“I don’t quite remember why or how we clicked. We would meet for rehearsals, and often we were in the same productions or private shows I guess we just moved in the same circles then and we became really good friends along the way,” Pan says. “We both thoroughly enjoy singing and dancing, and we can talk about anything under the sun. There’s really no filter when it comes to our conversations. We can be totally open about everything. We don’t have to pretend.”
As they approach their 40th anniversary as friends, Pan feels their conversations have grown a little deeper. “We talk about relationships often, and I think we’ve come to the realisation that we both are pretty much on the same page when it comes to life – we try and look for the positives, despite the many challenges we have faced.”
When Law turned 25, for example, she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, a challenging condition that she has lived with until today.
“While I cannot perform anymore, I still am involved in the choir – I have been the secretary for two years running. And while I still could, even up to 2018, I would perform while sitting down! It was wonderful to be able to perform alongside friends like Swee Chin, who have been a part of my life for so long.”
Pan and Law say there are no hard and fast rules in their friendship. They just meet every now and again to catch up and makan-makan. Law says that with social media these days, it’s a lot easier to keep up with each other’s lives. “It’s just how things are these days, right?” Law says, adding that during the pandemic MCOs, she made it a point to send food to some of her friends, and, of course, Pan was on the list.
Pan nods: “She’s like that. She sent me nasi kerabu so I wouldn’t feel so bad being alone at home on my birthday.”
The ladies say they have never had a fight in all these years. “She’s my dai ga jie (big sister). She will scold me every now and again, especially when I overextend myself,” says Law, as Pan launches into a tirade about how Law doesn’t know when to stop and take a rest, and both of them end up laughing knowingly at each other.
As they gracefully grow older – Law is inching towards her 60s and Pan is a bubbly 60something – they are grateful for their friendship which keeps them refreshed and often giggling like school girls. “It’s been such a blessing to have a friend like her,” says Law, and Pan nods and smiles.
Old friends: If you are in your 60s and above and have a long-lasting friendship that you’d like to share with our Silver readers, do write in to: lifestyle@thestar/com.my. Please send in a photo and contact details too.
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