MOST people today wake up and reach for their phone before they even properly wake up themselves. A quick scroll through TikTok, a few reels on Instagram, checking updates on Facebook, or watching “just one more video” before bed has quietly become part of normal daily life. What once started as entertainment or a way to stay connected has slowly become something much deeper. For many people, especially young adults, digital spaces now feel like a temporary escape from stress, loneliness, boredom, disappointment and emotional exhaustion.
This reminds me of the movie The Social Dilemma. It is probably why The Social Dilemma hit so many people uncomfortably hard when it was released. The documentary did not feel like some distant warning about the future. It felt familiar. It showed how social media platforms are carefully designed to keep people emotionally attached to their screens for as long as possible. The film explains how algorithms quietly study our habits – what we stop to watch, what we search for late at night, what we replay, what we react to emotionally – before feeding us more of the same content over and over again.
Most people have experienced it. You pick up your phone for “five minutes,” and somehow an hour disappears. Suddenly it is 2am, your eyes are tired, your brain feels overstimulated, but you are still scrolling.
Young adults and university students seem especially vulnerable to this cycle. Many are trying to manage academic pressure, uncertainty about the future, financial stress, emotional burnout and the exhausting pressure of comparing themselves with everyone else online. The strange irony is that this generation is constantly connected, yet many still feel emotionally alone. Someone can have thousands of followers, endless notifications and active group chats, but still feel like nobody genuinely sees or understands them offline.
Part of this comes down to basic brain chemistry. When people feel stressed, lonely, emotionally exhausted, or overwhelmed, the brain naturally searches for something comforting. Digital platforms are very good at responding to that need because they can trigger the release of certain “feel good” chemicals in the brain, especially dopamine. Dopamine is often linked to pleasure, reward and motivation. It is the same chemical involved when people experience excitement, anticipation, or temporary satisfaction.
Every notification, new video, like, message, or endless scroll gives the brain a small dopamine boost. Even something as simple as refreshing a feed and discovering new content can create a brief feeling of excitement or relief. The brain slowly begins associating digital activities with comfort and emotional escape. That is why many people instinctively reach for their phones when they feel bored, stressed, anxious, lonely, or emotionally drained.
At the same time, other biological systems in the body are also involved. During stressful periods, the body releases stress hormones such as cortisol, which can make people feel mentally tense, emotionally overwhelmed, or restless. Digital distractions may temporarily reduce those uncomfortable feelings by shifting attention away from stress. Endless scrolling, binge-watching, fantasy-driven online spaces, emotionally intense content and highly stimulating digital experiences can briefly make someone feel calmer, entertained, or emotionally “numb” for a while.
The difficult part is that the relief usually does not last very long. Once the stimulation fades, the same stress, loneliness, or emotional exhaustion often returns. So naturally, the person goes back online looking for that same temporary escape again. Over time, this can slowly turn into an emotional coping pattern without the person fully realising how dependent they have become on digital distraction to regulate their emotions.
At first, it feels harmless. A short distraction after a stressful day. A few videos to “relax the mind.” But over time, the brain slowly starts connecting these habits with comfort. Without even realising it, many people begin reaching for their phone automatically whenever they feel stressed, bored, lonely, or emotionally unsettled. The habit becomes emotional autopilot.
This is exactly what The Social Dilemma tries to warn viewers about. These platforms are not simply competing for attention anymore. They are learning human behaviour. The more someone watches certain content, the more similar content appears. The more emotionally reactive the user becomes, the longer they stay engaged. Today’s online spaces are built to hold attention, trigger emotional reactions, and keep people coming back.
That is partly why highly stimulating online content, hypersexualised material, fantasy-based digital environments, unrealistic beauty standards, and “perfect lifestyle” content have become so normalised online. When people are exposed to these things every single day, it quietly shapes expectations about relationships, intimacy, success, body image, and self-worth. Over time, fantasy can slowly start looking more believable than reality.
For some individuals, especially during emotionally difficult periods, digital spaces slowly become emotional hiding places. Stress, loneliness, heartbreak, burnout, disappointment – all of it can feel easier to ignore online. But eventually, unhealthy signs start appearing: difficulty disconnecting from devices, disrupted sleep, emotional emptiness offline, losing focus on responsibilities, or withdrawing from real-life relationships and conversations.
This is what many now call the “loneliness paradox.” People spend more time online searching for comfort, connection, validation, or distraction, yet still feel emotionally disconnected afterwards. In fact, online validation culture sometimes makes it worse. Self-worth slowly becomes tied to likes, comments, followers, replies and views. The comparison never really ends because there will always be someone richer, happier, more attractive, or seemingly more successful online.
Still, technology itself is not the enemy. Social media and digital platforms have also created opportunities for education, creativity, support networks and meaningful connection. The real issue is not technology, but the emotional dependence people may quietly develop towards these digital spaces when they become the main way of coping with life.
The goal is not to throw away phones or disappear from the internet completely. It is about building healthier emotional boundaries with technology. Simple things still matter – proper rest, exercise, hobbies, spending time with people offline, mindfulness, and learning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping into a screen. Sometimes the more important question is not “How long were you online today?” but “What were you trying not to feel?”
More open conversations about emotional well-being and digital habits are also needed. Many young people are struggling silently because they are afraid of being judged, misunderstood, or dismissed as “lazy” or “addicted.” Universities, families and communities need to create safer spaces where people can talk honestly about stress, emotional exhaustion, loneliness and unhealthy digital dependence without shame.
In today’s world, digital literacy should also include emotional literacy. People need to understand not only how technology works, but how online environments affect emotions, attention, behaviour, relationships, and self-esteem. Parents and adults play a role too. Young people learn digital habits from the environments around them and healthy behaviour is often modelled before it is taught.
At the end of the day, healthier digital well-being is everyone’s responsibility – families, educators, communities, technology companies and society itself. Technology is not destroying humanity. But as digital spaces become more deeply woven into everyday life, people need to become more emotionally aware of how they use them and why they rely on them so heavily.
Because behind many digital escapes is something deeply human. Most people are not simply looking for entertainment. They are looking for comfort. For connection. For emotional safety. For understanding. For a place where they feel seen and accepted.
Maybe the real challenge today is not learning how to disconnect from technology completely, but learning how to reconnect with ourselves and with each other again.
Assoc Prof Dr Siti Hazlina Alias is a clinical psychology lecturer at the International Medical School, Management and Science University (MSU).
