INTERACTIVE: Parent-child disconnect causing loneliness, depression and self-harm among teens

PETALING JAYA: A lonely teenager sits quietly in her room, playing on her mobile phone and refusing to leave even to eat.

“I’m not hungry actually,” said 16-years-old Anisah* who said her parents regularly work late and are not around to force her to eat either.

“They will nag at me but I do not care. They are not around much anyway,” she said, adding that she was diagnosed with depression early this year.

Whether her parents' absence played a part in her developing depression, Anisah said she is not sure as the usually quiet girl tends to stick to herself even in school since becoming a teenager.

Anisah’s story is not entirely out of the ordinary as more and more teenagers nowadays are struggling with mental health issues.

In conjunction with World Mental Health Day on Oct 10, we look at how a lack of parental presence can cause mental health decline in adolescents.

Mental health issues among teenagers have been rising over the past decade, the Health Ministry’s Adolescent Health Survey (AHS) 2022 revealed.

Feelings of loneliness has shot up from 9.3% in 2017 to 16.2% in 2022 while 27% of respondents said they felt depressed.

Depression was significantly higher among females standing at 36.1 compared to males (17.7%), with Labuan having the highest percentage at 34.4% followed by Kuala Lumpur at 32.4%.

More alarmingly, almost one in 10 students admitted to either planning or attempting suicide in 2022.

By state, the survey found that suicidal ideation was highest in Kuala Lumpur (18%) while Labuan noted the highest for suicidal plan (14%) and suicidal attempt (13%).

The following chart shows teen involvement in the three stages of suicide by state/federal territories. Click the arrow button to cycle between percentages for ideation, planning and attempt.

According to the AHS, teenagers reported having less of a bond or feeling connected with their parents.

About one third of them said they felt connected with their parents in 2012 but this dropped to almost one in four in 2022.

As for parental bonding, it dropped from 43.1% in 2012 to 42.6% in 2017 to 33.4% in 2022.

Fewer were reporting that their parents were supervising them as well, going from 14.2% to 13.2% to 9.9% over the three different years.

On the other hand, parents were reportedly giving their children more privacy with “Parental respect for privacy” increasing from 74% in 2012 to 81.7% in 2022.

Experts who weighed in on the results say declining parental presence in the lives of adolescents could be among the main factors leading to the rise in mental health issues.

Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR) Faculty of Arts and Social Science Department of Psychology and Counselling Assistant Professor (psychology) Dr Grace T’ng Soo Ting said studies suggest that the absence or lack of parental or guardian supervision can increase the likelihood of teenagers experiencing some developmental issues.

“The presence of parents or guardians plays an essential role in the development of teenagers,” she said.

She said a study done in China on school students showed that parental relationships, parental discipline, teacher supervision, and positive peer behavior were positively associated with adolescent prosocial behaviors and reduced the incidence of delinquent behaviors.

Locally, she said a 2022 study reported that adolescents with low parental or guardian connectedness and bonding were associated with depression, anxiety, and stress.

“Adolescents who had divorced or separated parents or guardians and married parents or guardians but living apart due to job commitment were at higher risk for stress,” she added.

She said children and teenagers need emotional support. Without it, they can easily feel isolated, neglected, or misunderstood, which can contribute to various emotional and behavioural problems.

“Lack of supervision can lead to risky behaviours such as substance abuse, unsafe sexual activities and delinquent behaviours," she said.

Incidentally, the AHS also found that more teens were practicing unsafe sexual behaviour.

This is despite the percentage of teenagers engaging in sexual behaviours reducing slightly over the past decade from 11.5% in 2012 to 7.6% in 2022.

As for those currently having sex, the percentage increased slightly to 5.7% in 2022 compared to 5.4% in 2017 (there is no data available for 2012).

Only 11.8% of those who ever had sex used a condom during their last sexual intercourse while 11.9% used other birth control methods.

However, the prevalence of sexual activity among adolescents in Malaysia was relatively low compared to developed countries with the United States of America recording 50% of 15 to 19-year-old engaging in sexual behaviour.

Dr T'ng said adequate parental monitoring can substantially help to reduce these risks.

“Effective communication between parents and teenagers also promotes strong and healthy relationships,” she added.

Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) Medical Centre Psychiatry Department Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Unit head Dr Fairuz Nazri Abd Rahman said it is not about the quantity of time that the parents spend with them that teenagers are complaining about, but how it is spent.

“Teens often find the parents are not on the same page with them and do not understand what they are going through.

“The parents often insist on academic success but forget that emotional management is also crucial to successful transition into adult working life,” she said.

When it comes to privacy, Dr Fairuz Nazri said teens need their own time to sleep, do their school work and talk to friends.

However, she said teens should join the family during meal times and trips as these are times when parents can connect and bond with their children.

Dr T’ng added that respecting child’s privacy can promote trust and independence.

“However, it is important to strike a balance in between,” she said, adding that there is a thing as too much privacy.

When parents are completely unaware of their child’s activities, their children are left vulnerable to experiencing emotional and behavioural problems. One of the causes of which is cyberbullying.

*Those suffering from mental health issues can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999 or 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); or Jakim’s (Islamic Development Malaysia Department) family, social and community care centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp). They can also reach out to Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929), Befrienders Penang (04-291 0100) or go to befrienders.org.my/centre-in-malaysia for a full list of numbers nationwide and operating hours, or email [e-mail].