FOR a while, Zara* led a double life.
The pretty, slender lady was a flight attendant who enjoyed hanging out with friends who abstained from substances.
At other times, she lost herself in drugs, partying heavily with a different set of people.
Starting with ecstasy pills at just 21, she later moved on to Eramin 5, cocaine and syabu.
“There was always something in my mouth,” says Zara, now 35, who has recovered from her addiction.
“I had an amazing life. But drugs ruined it, especially syabu,” she tells Sunday Star when met at the Cure & Care Clinic run by the National Anti-Drugs Agency in Kuala Lumpur.
During her syabu phase, the drug “attacked” her mind, making her paranoid and all she could do was stay indoors and do nothing.
It came to a point where Zara’s parents had to force her to join a rehabilitation centre.
“They kept my addiction a secret from everyone, including people in my hometown because we were afraid of negative backlash.
“It would be nice to go back to my hometown but for now, I can’t,” she sighs.
Asked what led her to take drugs, she says she mixed with bad company, wanted to seek thrills and escape from life’s pressures.
Every month, she blew a big chunk of money to buy drugs, even dipping into her savings.
“I used to spend RM300 a week on ecstasy for 10 tablets a week.
“Every month, Eramin 5 costed me RM800, cocaine was RM1,500 while syabu was RM500,” she recalls.
“Looking back now, I would like to advise others to be careful with whom they are friends with. Some have hidden intentions.”
Zara, who drew strength from religion, is now in the final stages of rehabilitation and will re-enter society as part of the workforce.
However, the sad reality is that many in our society are prejudiced against former drug addicts.
Because of this, Zara, who got a job as a sales promoter, was advised not to disclose her drug addiction history to her employer.
“Based on previous incidents, some employers who find out about your background won’t even give you the job.
“Even if they do give you the job, you will be the first to blame should there be any wrongdoings or mishaps,” she says.
Nevertheless, Zara remains hopeful about turning over a new leaf and hopes society will be less judgemental of reformed addicts.
“I’m not a bad person, I’m just sick.
“As ex-addicts, we know where we went wrong. We are already struggling to regain our self esteem.
“It wouldn’t help if people kept treating us badly when we are just trying to get back on our feet,” she says.
She also hopes the Government will set up more rehabilitation centres such as cure and care clinics to help addicts.
Echoing a similar plea to society, Jeff*, 45, a former bank executive, says ex-addicts need support from society.
“Drug addicts are not criminals.
“Most of the time, addicts do the most harm to themselves. For those trying to rebuild their lives, please don’t dismiss them as useless.
“We need just help,” he says.
The former heroin addict says he first started experimenting with ganja at 14 due to influence from friends.
Jeff, the youngest of four siblings, was seen as the hope of the family when he was sent to the United Kingdom to study accounting.
But he started taking other drugs there, and compounded by a break up with his girlfriend, he took heroin and cocaine.
“I was looked upon as the breadwinner of the family. I felt pressured, as I also had to take care of my mother, and this also drove me deeper into addiction,” he says.
Because of this, he was suspended from work after he kept going on medical leave, aside from other disciplinary problems.
As an unemployed person, he struggled to scrap for cash to buy his fix.
The turning point in his life came when his mother died last year from cancer, prompting him to make a change.
Jeff, who has been clean for almost a year, says he hopes to get his life back on track.
“I’m 45 now. I know I have missed a lot of opportunities in life.
“But if possible, I would like to start a family of my own. It will make me a more responsible man,” he says.
The need to seek thrills also turned Mus*, a 48-year-old former factory worker, into a drug addict.
But now, he has put those dark days behind him and is helping others as a peer guide at AADK’s Cure & Care Clinic.
“Sometimes, ex-addicts are tempted to get into drugs again when they meet friends from their old circle.
“Addicts can also tell if someone they meet is also an addict based on their demeanour and vibe. This can be quite a challenge in the recovery process,” he says.
But Mus has since put that life behind him and helps others recover, since he knows all too well what it is like.
“I became a peer guide (pembimbing rakan sebaya) because I want to help others.
“It is also a reminder to myself. When I guide others out of their addiction, I strengthen my own convictions and beliefs as well,” he says.
He says the Government’s move to decriminalise drug addiction is the right move.
“Addicts need help. The crimes they commit are because of their addiction.
“It is akin to a drunk person who has no idea what they are doing.
“A crime is a crime, but for addicts, what they need most is to be treated and healed,” he adds.
* not their real names
The pretty, slender lady was a flight attendant who enjoyed hanging out with friends who abstained from substances.
At other times, she lost herself in drugs, partying heavily with a different set of people.
Starting with ecstasy pills at just 21, she later moved on to Eramin 5, cocaine and syabu.
“There was always something in my mouth,” says Zara, now 35, who has recovered from her addiction.
“I had an amazing life. But drugs ruined it, especially syabu,” she tells Sunday Star when met at the Cure & Care Clinic run by the National Anti-Drugs Agency in Kuala Lumpur.
During her syabu phase, the drug “attacked” her mind, making her paranoid and all she could do was stay indoors and do nothing.
It came to a point where Zara’s parents had to force her to join a rehabilitation centre.
“They kept my addiction a secret from everyone, including people in my hometown because we were afraid of negative backlash.
“It would be nice to go back to my hometown but for now, I can’t,” she sighs.
Asked what led her to take drugs, she says she mixed with bad company, wanted to seek thrills and escape from life’s pressures.
Every month, she blew a big chunk of money to buy drugs, even dipping into her savings.
“I used to spend RM300 a week on ecstasy for 10 tablets a week.
“Every month, Eramin 5 costed me RM800, cocaine was RM1,500 while syabu was RM500,” she recalls.
“Looking back now, I would like to advise others to be careful with whom they are friends with. Some have hidden intentions.”
Zara, who drew strength from religion, is now in the final stages of rehabilitation and will re-enter society as part of the workforce.
However, the sad reality is that many in our society are prejudiced against former drug addicts.
Because of this, Zara, who got a job as a sales promoter, was advised not to disclose her drug addiction history to her employer.
“Based on previous incidents, some employers who find out about your background won’t even give you the job.
“Even if they do give you the job, you will be the first to blame should there be any wrongdoings or mishaps,” she says.
Nevertheless, Zara remains hopeful about turning over a new leaf and hopes society will be less judgemental of reformed addicts.
“I’m not a bad person, I’m just sick.
“As ex-addicts, we know where we went wrong. We are already struggling to regain our self esteem.
“It wouldn’t help if people kept treating us badly when we are just trying to get back on our feet,” she says.
She also hopes the Government will set up more rehabilitation centres such as cure and care clinics to help addicts.
Echoing a similar plea to society, Jeff*, 45, a former bank executive, says ex-addicts need support from society.
“Drug addicts are not criminals.
“Most of the time, addicts do the most harm to themselves. For those trying to rebuild their lives, please don’t dismiss them as useless.
“We need just help,” he says.
The former heroin addict says he first started experimenting with ganja at 14 due to influence from friends.
Jeff, the youngest of four siblings, was seen as the hope of the family when he was sent to the United Kingdom to study accounting.
But he started taking other drugs there, and compounded by a break up with his girlfriend, he took heroin and cocaine.
“I was looked upon as the breadwinner of the family. I felt pressured, as I also had to take care of my mother, and this also drove me deeper into addiction,” he says.
Because of this, he was suspended from work after he kept going on medical leave, aside from other disciplinary problems.
As an unemployed person, he struggled to scrap for cash to buy his fix.
The turning point in his life came when his mother died last year from cancer, prompting him to make a change.
Jeff, who has been clean for almost a year, says he hopes to get his life back on track.
“I’m 45 now. I know I have missed a lot of opportunities in life.
“But if possible, I would like to start a family of my own. It will make me a more responsible man,” he says.
The need to seek thrills also turned Mus*, a 48-year-old former factory worker, into a drug addict.
But now, he has put those dark days behind him and is helping others as a peer guide at AADK’s Cure & Care Clinic.
“Sometimes, ex-addicts are tempted to get into drugs again when they meet friends from their old circle.
“Addicts can also tell if someone they meet is also an addict based on their demeanour and vibe. This can be quite a challenge in the recovery process,” he says.
But Mus has since put that life behind him and helps others recover, since he knows all too well what it is like.
“I became a peer guide (pembimbing rakan sebaya) because I want to help others.
“It is also a reminder to myself. When I guide others out of their addiction, I strengthen my own convictions and beliefs as well,” he says.
He says the Government’s move to decriminalise drug addiction is the right move.
“Addicts need help. The crimes they commit are because of their addiction.
“It is akin to a drunk person who has no idea what they are doing.
“A crime is a crime, but for addicts, what they need most is to be treated and healed,” he adds.
* not their real names
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