For many women, motherhood is not a barrier but a catalyst. In conjunction with Mothers Day, four mothers share how raising a family has fuelled their pursuit of higher education and personal growth.
WHEN the story of Azlina Abdul Aziz, a 52-year-old mother who studied law to help save her son after he was charged with murder in 2016, made headlines, it became more than just a tale of resilience. It was a testament to the extraordinary lengths mothers go to in the name of love and sacrifice. Her journey showed that even in the darkest of circumstances, a mother’s determination can pave the way forward.
But not every story begins with such dramatic stakes. For countless women, careers and educational pursuits are very much a normal part of their life’s journey as a mother. For them, motherhood is not a barrier but a bridge – an inspiration to better themselves and, in turn, uplift their families. Whether it is upgrading qualifications for work, learning new skills, or chasing long-delayed dreams, these mothers prove that ambition and nurturing can co-exist.
Balancing textbooks with bedtime stories, lectures with lunchboxes and examinations with everyday errands is no small feat. The juggling act is relentless, yet the rewards ripple far beyond the classroom. Their perseverance becomes a lesson for their children, showing that growth never stops and that love often means leading by example.
This Mothers Day, the spotlight turns from Azlina’s remarkable journey to the everyday realities of women who quietly balance study and family life.
For Noor Amirah Asraf, 36; Elma Dewiyana Ismail, 45; Dr Choong Chiau Ling, 44; and Then Jin Hong (who prefers not to disclose her age); the classroom sits alongside the kitchen table and assignments share space with bedtime routines. Their stories are not about grand gestures, but steady persistence – the kind that shows learning and nurturing can grow side by side.
Finding balance
“The hardest part was making sure I spent enough time with my son – he was only 10 months old when I started my Master’s (in mass communications).
"My off days were filled with classes, assignments and thesis work at the university. By the time I got home, it was often late at night and he’d already be asleep. That’s when the mum guilt crept in. I missed many of his milestones,” says Noor Amirah, as she gazes at her two sons, Ibrahim Mateen, nine, and Isa Mateen, six, playing in their Kuala Lumpur apartment.
For Elma, a lecturer currently pursuing a doctorate in the built environment at Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM), the constant feeling of being divided between two responsibilities remains taxing.
“There were times when I was physically present with my family but mentally occupied with my research, and other times when I was focused on my PhD but felt like I wasn’t giving enough to my children. That internal conflict was the most challenging part.”
But what gives them the strength to keep going?
“What kept me going was clarity of purpose. I reminded myself why I started this journey – not just for academic achievement, but to create a better future for my family and to contribute meaningfully to my field. I also learned to be more intentional with my time. Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, I focused on doing what matters most in each moment,” says Elma, who is also a mother of four.
Choong, a senior lecturer at Taylor’s University, who is pursuing her postgraduate studies for a certification in education, says while family responsibilities are undoubtedly demanding, she receives strong support from her parents and husband.
“We never abuse that ‘privilege’ simply because we believe our parents had their time taking care of us, and the responsibility to care for our children should not be placed on them.
“What kept me going is definitely the continuous support and understanding from my husband of 16 years and my dad, who has inspired me in every way. My dad still works at 77. It is his passion and love for his job and the people he interacts with every day – his colleagues – that keep him going. He leaves home for work at 6.40am every day without fail to avoid heavy traffic.”
Then, an internal auditor with an insurance company and a postgraduate student studying for a Master’s in applied computing, says there were moments when she felt tired and overwhelmed.
“What I try to do is plan my time carefully, like studying in small pockets each day. What really keeps me going is the strong support from my family, especially my husband. He is very understanding and always encourages me. Knowing that I’m not alone in this journey really motivates me to keep moving forward.”
The drive
Various factors drive them to pursue their studies – from gaining new skills and for professional growth to fulfilling personal goals and satisfying intellectual curiosity.
Noor Amirah, a sub-editor, is no stranger to postgraduate studies, having already earned a Master’s degree in Linguistics and Literature in Belgium.
“But when I returned and started working in the media industry, I wanted to understand the field more deeply. So I thought, why not pursue another? Of course, I consulted my family first, and they were very supportive.
“They assured me I’d have all the help I needed, as long as I was clear about what I wanted to achieve. With that encouragement, I had no hesitation in going for it.
“At the same time, I wanted to prove to myself that raising a family and being a wife and mother didn’t mean I had to stop pursuing my own goals. Life is a continuous learning process, and opportunities to learn don’t come often. When they do, you just have to grab them.”
Choong says her motivation centres on improving her knowledge and skills as a lecturer.
“Whenever I set foot to pursue my studies, it is because I feel I’m lacking – that I’m not good enough and not contributing as much as I should to the people I work with.
“I was a practising pharmacist before this and now an academician. The people I’m referring to would be my patients previously and now my students. I need to learn new knowledge and skills to better serve my profession.”
Similarly, Elma says as an educator, she feels a strong responsibility not just to teach, but to continuously grow.
“Pursuing my PhD was part of that commitment – to deepen my knowledge, strengthen my research capability and bring more value into the classroom.
“At the same time, I saw real gaps in how technologies like building information modelling are adopted among construction SMEs, and I felt compelled to contribute something meaningful to that space. So for me, this journey was not just personal, but also professional – it’s about improving how I teach, how I guide students, and how I can contribute to both academia and industry.”
She also wants to show her children that growth does not stop when life becomes busy or challenging.
“This journey was never about proving something to others, but about staying true to my goals and values.”
Meanwhile, Then says pursuing a Master’s degree has always been one of her personal goals.
“It is something I have wanted to achieve for a long time, not just for my career, but also for my own growth. What I learn from my studies really helps me understand my work better.
“It also helps me grow professionally and stay relevant, especially in today’s fast-changing environment. Of course, it’s not easy, but I can clearly see the long-term benefits. That’s what keeps me going.”
Wholesome support
There were moments of doubt and uncertainty – and that is when support became crucial, stresses Elma.
“I was very fortunate to have a strong support system around me. My husband and parents played a big role by giving me emotional support and understanding, especially during the more stressful phases.
“Their encouragement helped me stay grounded and focused.”
Academically, she was also guided by supportive supervisors.
“Their support made a significant difference. It reminded me that I was not going through this journey alone, and that gave me the confidence to keep pushing forward, especially during the most challenging times.”
Noor Amirah points out that her parents were, and still are, her biggest supporters.
“I was a new mum at the time. In the beginning, I struggled to adjust my schedule between work, classes and caring for my baby. My husband also had to work extra hard, as we were preparing to move into our own home.”
Her parents stepped in constantly – caring for her firstborn and offering encouragement whenever she felt overwhelmed.
“My dad even drove me to class or picked me up from UiTM Shah Alam to get me to work in KL. They gave me space to study for exams, which meant so much.”
Choong says her husband and parents were her pillars of strength.
“My husband will always tell me, ‘You just do your schoolwork; I’ll take care of the kids, I’ll pack food or I’ll see to their homework.’ Meanwhile, my mum always lends her ear to me. Sometimes, you don’t need advice – you just need someone to listen, and that is all that matters.”
This support also helped Then feel calmer and more confident in continuing her studies.
“My family really stood by me throughout this journey, and their understanding made a big difference.
“They always encourage me and give me the space and time I need to focus on my studies. At the same time, they also help take care of my children when I am busy with assignments or work deadlines.”
Toasting examples
How has the experience shaped their children and family?
“My children think they have a ‘super-mum’,” says Choong jovially, adding that the experience has taught them that education is not governed by age.
“I also feel they appreciate more of what I do because they see me juggling rest, schoolwork and family. I hope they carry this belief with them: ‘When there is a will, there is a way’.”
Echoing that sentiment, Then hopes to set a positive example for her two children.
“I hope my journey shows them that no matter how old you are, you can always keep learning and improving yourself. Learning doesn’t stop after school – it is something you carry throughout your life.”
Noor Amirah says her eldest was still a baby when she completed her second Master’s, and she is now pursuing a doctorate in mass communications.
“And now as I continue my PhD, they often say, ‘Oh, mama is learning too.’ We usually sit together in the living room – me working on my thesis or reading journals, while they do homework or attend online classes. Learning has become a shared process in our home.
“I always tell them: If Mama can do it, then you can too. That message has become part of our everyday life – education isn’t just mine, it’s something we grow into together.”
Elma says one of the biggest lessons her children have learned is the importance of perseverance.
“I also hope they’ve learned the value of continuously seeking knowledge – that learning does not stop at a certain stage, but is something we actively pursue throughout our lives.
“At the same time, I’ve tried to show them the importance of staying positive, even in challenging situations, because mindset plays a big role in how we move forward.”
