RAISING children with disabilities can be overwhelming, but sharing experiences and support can go a long way for parents and caregivers.
With this goal in mind, “Seminar for Parents: Sexuality and Safety Education for Children With Disabilities” was held at the Church of Divine Mercy’s Learning Centre in Sungai Ara, Penang.
The seminar was attended by about 30 parents, caregivers and teachers of special needs children.
National Early Childhood Intervention Council vice-president Prof Dr Toh Teck Hock said timing and clear direction were important when raising special needs children.
“We often focus on telling children what they cannot do but forget to tell them what they can do.
“So instead of just telling them ‘don’t run in the house’, we can tell them ‘walk inside the house’ or ‘run in the playground’.
“We need to teach our child when is the right time to do what,” said Prof Toh, who is also the Sibu Hospital Clinical Research Centre head and paediatrician.
Timing also comes into play when explaining to children the ‘good touch, bad touch’ concept, he said.
“Parents sometimes leave children alone with doctors but this is not advisable, even if it is for a short time to look for someone outside the doctor’s office.
“Children should be taught when medical examinations should occur – in a medical setting and always with a parent present.
“Or, if the patient is a teenage girl and no female relative can be present, then she must be accompanied by a female nurse but always with the father nearby, on the other side of the screen,” he said.
Since there is a gap between a special child’s mental age and physiological development, Prof Toh stressed that education should start early.
“Some children with disabilities, for example children with Down syndrome, can be very friendly.
“They love to hug people.
“If the child is very young, that’s okay, but as a child starts to grow to three or four years old, I would start to caution parents.
“The reason is because this is difficult to undo, especially for children with limited understanding,” he said.
“Sometimes, even when they grow to become teenagers, they still try to touch and hug everyone,” he added.
For children with speaking and language barriers, teaching them to say no to unwanted advances is also important.
“When children start to have to deal with strangers outside their close circle of relationships, they need to start to practise how to say no,” said Prof Toh.
“With children with limited understanding, we can teach them something simple like crossing their hands in front of them, or making an ‘X’ with their fingers,” he said, reminding that it was important to respect children when they say no.
He said coaxing children into hugging relatives when they did not feel like doing so, could undo the effectiveness of teaching them how to say no.
On teenagers and sexuality, he said parents must teach and explain to them at a level matching the child’s ability on what could be done at what appropriate time and place.
He said that in order to avoid inappropriate behaviours in children, they could be kept distracted by keeping them physically active or changing activities to snap teenagers out of unwanted situations without embarrassing them.
“Our main goal is for children to grow up in an environment without fear, and help them attain a life with personal fulfilment,” he said.
The Learning Centre offers a range of programmes for different age groups and communities with a focus on building practical skills and encouraging lifelong learning.
For more information on their upcoming programmes and living skills workshops, email lc.cdmofficial@gmail.com
