Waking up in Corsica (France), having gone to sleep in Palamos (Spain), I’m struck by an epiphany; this may be the perfect dad-and-lad adventure.
Forget the tired tropes about cruises only being for older people – I’m snorkelling in the clear water of Corsica and wondering if they are, in fact, tailor-made for a nine-year-old child and a childish 43-year-old adult.
It sounds almost far-fetched; conquer Rome, tour Pompeii and scale Mount Vesuvius (all in Italy) in the same week on TUI’s Marella Cruises “seven-day Cosmopolitan Charms” holiday – which takes a round trip from Palma, on the Spanish Island of Mallorca.
As a 1980s kid who grew up in the 1990s, it was normal to fall for the lazy stereotypes about cruises. Who knows, maybe they were true back then.
Now, blessed with a sidekick – my son Archie – and both of us with an appetite and aptitude for adventure and exploration but also pantomime, beach days and ice cream on tap, we are heading off on our first cruise.
We fly to Palma, step aboard Marella’s Discovery 2 ship, and immediately set off on a tour of the 11-deck, 918-cabin floating metropolis, armed with the company’s navigation app.
The cruise is set to make five stops: Palamos, a small fishing village on Spain’s Costa Brava; Propriano, a port town on the French island of Corsica; the Italian port of Civitavecchia, 40km from Rome; Salerno in the Campania region in southwest Italy, often cited as a gateway to the Amalfi coast; and Palermo on the Italian island of Sicily, before a day at sea to sail back to Palma.
Life hacks
Archie seems genuinely awestruck by the scale of the ship up close and the fact it’s his home for the next week, while I’m quickly realising that the balcony cabin will offer morning views no hotel could ever compete with. Our room is light, more spacious than anticipated, and modern.
Before we even set sail, Archie has decided he wants to go on a cruise every year. As high as he is on first-day adrenaline, I don’t disagree. It’s a novelty to bathe in the clearest Corsican waters and enjoy pristine Mediterranean beaches, while pondering what you’re most excited to see in Rome tomorrow morning.
We can explore Europe’s marvels before hopping back on to a floating all-inclusive resort, eating, drinking, splashing around – and even playing a round of crazy golf – while the ship does the work. It feels like a life hack I’ve only just uncovered.
Plus, waking up in a new place somewhere in the Mediterranean, without so much as packing a bag, feels like the kind of easy adventure every parent (especially a solo one) needs.
All stops on the cruise offer a range of chargeable excursions, and I opt for the hop-on, hop-off bus tour of Rome – which includes transfers from the port of Civitavecchia – and the Pompeii and Mount Vesuvius two-stop tour on the Campania leg.
The bus tour of the Eternal City gives us convenience and flexibility, getting off and on wherever suited us and covering parts of it on foot. We choose to tick off the highlights, like the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain and Spanish Steps with a quick look from the outside and a nice photo.
Our second booked excursion is the Roman city of Pompeii and Vesuvius, an active volcano. It sounds ludicrous to say out loud: a morning seeing the epochal ruins of an ancient civilisation, a quick pizza, then a hike to the volcano’s crater.
Pompeii is as sombre and striking as you’d expect, particularly for Archie who studied it at school last year. And for a child his age, looking over the edge of a live volcanic crater is mind-blowing. The excursion bus had taken us 80% of the way up Vesuvius, allowing us the chance to climb the best bit ourselves.
The two searing, sweaty days are worth every minute, and memories made with my little best mate are brought to life purely because of the cruise concept.
Both days are rounded off by getting back on board to enjoy the premium all-inclusive – an upgrade in the truest sense of the word – adding premium-branded spirits, mixers and cocktails, speciality coffees and certain draught beers.
The excursions are excellent but the likes of Propriano, Palamos and Palermo lend themselves perfectly to exploring under your own steam, as all are accessible on foot from the ship.
Palamos is perfect for a casual wander and a beer with a view, the stunning Corsican waters of Propriano are ideal for a beach and water sports day, while Palermo offers us a fun adventure of rough-edged charm and mafia cliches.
Food and activities
Such an adventure naturally doubles as a European food tour. Catalan staples like pa amb tomaquet (tomato bread) in Palamos, carbonara and a spritz in Rome, pizza in Pompeii, lemon sorbet on the Amalfi Coast, cannoli and gelato in Palermo.
Cliches are cliches for a reason.
Which brings us to the food on board this galleon of gastronomy. The variety and quality are so impressive at the main buffet restaurant, Islands, it takes a real conscious decision to make sure we also dine at as many of the eight other restaurants available as we can (five are included in the package.)
A feast at the Surf & Turf Steakhouse (one of the three chargeable a la carte options) proves a perfect final-night treat. Who knew sharing a giant porterhouse steak could be such a father-son bonding experience? And fighting over the lobster macaroni cheese is character-building, surely?
The entertainment team is talented – we enjoy the Music From The Movies performance in the Broadway Show Lounge – and from the nightly casino to the outdoor cinema screenings, we’re spoiled for choice for evening activities.
Just as I forego a splurge on the blackjack tables or a massage in the spa, Archie hasn’t even had a chance to try the kids’ clubs because we’re too busy having other fun.
Even the final day at sea is not to be underestimated, as it’s a welcome chance to enjoy the ship’s facilities.
My shuffleboard career starts and finishes with a humiliating first-round defeat to my mini me – as he goes on to win the whole tournament against kids and adults – and consequently things get a little more competitive on the mini golf course later on.
Archie makes other friends and I’m relegated to reading and sunbathing but equally it’s nice to chat to some of the friendly faces we’ve come to know during the holiday.
It’s also a chance to take stock and dare to dream of other adventures by sea. We didn’t need converting to the concept, but any doubts would have been quickly squashed.
Plus, Archie will have some epic tales to tell when he goes back to school. – PHIL BARNETT/dpa
