Making people feel that you really hear them is the best thing you can do for them

Psychologist Carl Rogers: 'When a person realises he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it’s like to be me".' —

It's a common anxiety among therapists that we need to “do” something in sessions with our clients to feel we’re helping them. We might search for a penetrating question or a well-timed technique or exercise. We might provide something for the client to take away and practice in between sessions, and some therapists will give worksheets or journal templates.

All of the above can be useful aids in helping someone gain insight and understanding or motivate them to practice, say, a self-compassion exercise to help reduce judgemental thoughts.

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