A young Tang Chen Neo receiving his King Scout Award from HRH Sultan Ismail in 1962. Photos: Tang Ching Leng
My father Tang Chen Neo was born on Sept 3, 1945, the fourth son out of eight boys. His father, Tan Seng Kay, was a migrant from China who founded a furniture retail and manufacturing business in Muar, Johor.
He was a precocious child, full of mischief and energy, which got him multiple lashings from my grandmother.
For some unknown reason, my grandfather sent him to an English-medium school, whereas his brothers went to Chinese schools. Perhaps my grandfather thought that Chen Neo would not be able to withstand the strict enforcement of discipline in Chinese schools.
Call it serendipity, call it fate, but my father found his match when he came face to face with the principal of St Andrew’s school, Brother Robert O’Sulllivan. An Irishman known for his fiery temper and flaming red cheeks, he is credited for “whipping boys into men” with his rigid adherence to rules and discipline. Despite being often on the receiving end of the much-dreaded rotan, my father held the highest respect and admiration for Brother Robert for his unwavering determination to give his boys a good education. He inspired my father to work hard for his own future.
As a Scout, Chen Neo developed his leadership skills and made lifelong friends. In 1962, he was awarded the prestigious King Scout certificate by the late HRH Sultan Ismail, the 23rd Sultan of Johor. This was to be his proudest moment ever.
Scout Master Tang Chen Neo (seated, fifth from left) with his beloved Scouts.
My father’s dream was to go to a university in England, perhaps due to the influence of his mentor Brother Robert. However, due to the family’s financial constraints, he had to forego that dream. Instead, he enrolled himself in a teacher’s college and graduated to become one of the youngest teachers in the country. He taught English and Art, and also became a Scout Master. His intense dedication and passion as an educator and Scout Master were deeply appreciated by his students.
At his funeral last year, many of his former students, who still affectionately addressed him as Cikgu, turned up to pay their last respects. They shared stories of how he went the extra mile to ensure they stayed in school, from turning up at their homes to drag them to back to their classrooms when they played truant, to giving them money to buy food and books out of his own pocket.
Perhaps Chen Neo inherited his entrepreneurial zeal from my grandfather. In 1982, he established a garment manufacturing company. The business did well, eventually expanding to Vietnam. He also went into the property development business. The boy from Muar achieved the success that he craved for.
My father was an extremely generous man. He sponsored many of his nephews and nieces for their further education overseas; he took great care of his parents and siblings; he rarely turned down his friends when they asked for help. He made numerous donations to various charities, often remaining anonymous. He also served as Chairman of the Old Boys Association of St Andrew’s, where he was instrumental in upgrading his alma mater’s infrastructure.
Wedding photo of Tang Chen Neo and his bride.
Although my father had a Western outlook, he was a traditionalist and embraced Confucian values. He revered his father, and insisted that the entire family come together every year to celebrate my grandfather’s birthday. After my grandfather passed away, he took on the role as the family head and made his home the venue for the family’s Chinese New Year’s reunion dinner.
Every Qing Ming, without fail, he would take us to his mother’s graveyard to pay our respects after cleaning up the site.
He also built two buildings in Muar and named them after his parents. He even ensured that his final resting place is directly below his beloved father’s, at the columbarium in a local temple where my grandfather once served as the Chairman.
My father’s biggest regret was not taking better care of his health. In perhaps our last full conversation, I shall always remember how he looked at me with sadness and weariness in his eyes, and said:
“When I was young, my biggest fear was that I would grow old with no money. But now that I am an old man, my biggest regret is having the money but no means to enjoy it.”
He regretted not travelling more when he had the physical ability to do so. He dearly missed going on holidays with his grandkids and for his regular kopi sessions with his friends.
My father reminded us to be mindful of the pitfalls of pursuing material wealth at the expense of health and time with our loved ones.
The writer's parents.
The final paragraph of his will reads: “The best way to show your gratitude and to continue my legacy is to show tremendous love and respect for each other and maintain a strong and close family unit for generations to come. Always remain humble in attitude and actions and be grateful to your ancestors for what you have received and achieved.“
My father passed away on Aug 12, 2023, just one month shy of his 78th birthday. Having suffered a series of strokes, he was virtually incapacitated during the final year of his life. His speech and movement were severely restricted, causing him great stress and pain. He also lost a lot of weight due to difficulty in swallowing food. It was devastating to see a proud, accomplished man being reduced to a shadow of his former self.
We shall always miss his boyish smile and his larger-than-life presence.
