Are you neurotic?

This visual is human-created, AI-aided.

I was having an argument with my wife. After a heated exchange, she called me “neurotic”. I called her “neurotic” back before secretly realising that I don’t really know what it means. What is being neurotic?

Neuroticism is one of the Big Five personality traits.

There are five major personality traits in every human being.

Each one reflects a major part of how a person thinks, feels and acts.

The Big Five personality traits form the framework of one of the most respected personality categorisations in modern ­psychology.

There are five personality traits? What are they?

The Big Five personality traits are:

> Openness

This is openness to experience, meaning being curious and creative.

People who are high in this are open to receiving many different viewpoints and things.

They love learning new things and are open to trying out new adventures.

Such people may be described, for example, as: “He is open to hearing about how different religions think”, as opposed to being “close-­minded”.

People who are not open tend to prefer routine and they don’t like – and even resist – change.

> Conscientiousness

People who score high in this like schedules and plans, and they like details.

They tend to be responsible and they work hard.

They also tend to be reliable.

People who are poor at conscientiousness tend to be more disorganised, but may be more flexible.

> Extraversion

People who score high in this are extroverts, meaning they are more sociable, gain energy from being around other people and tend to be more assertive.

The opposite of this is introversion.

> Agreeableness

People who are high in this care deeply about other people and empathise with them.

They are kind and like to help people.

> Neuroticism

People who are considered “neurotic” – or to be more precise, score highly in neuroticism – tend to be easily stressed, have plenty of mood swings, and get anxious or depressed more easily.

People who are not neurotic tend to be more emotionally stable and relaxed under pressure.

Remember this acronym “OCEAN”, to represent the Big Five.

So my wife considers me to be neurotic. That is not a good thing, right?

There is no good or bad.

Don’t forget that you have four other major personality traits as well.

You may be easily stressed, but also very kind and conscientious.

Can these personality traits change over time? Yes, I do get stressed easily now, but that’s because I have a tough job.

The Big Five personality traits in any human being tend to be fairly stable throughout adulthood, once your teenage hormones have settled down.

There are many people in tough jobs and situations, but they can also deal with the stress fairly easily and remain calm throughout.

Interestingly, researchers have found neuroticism to be the biggest predictor of your happiness in life.

What does that mean? Neurotic people are happier?

The opposite, actually.

People who score higher on neuroticism tend to be less happy.

But the good news is that if you intentionally dial down your neurotic tendencies, you can have a good chance of being happier.

Neurotic people tend to be less happy than emotionally-stable people because they tend to experience “negative and ­difficult” emotions such as anger, guilt, stress, sadness and anxiety, more than emotionally-­stable people.

People whose moods are always unstable (i.e. whose ­emotions swing up and down) tend to be sensitive to perceived criticism or rejection – they feel things more.

Emotionally-stable people tend to be more resilient and have the ability to bounce back during hard times.

Bad things happen in more or less equal measure to everyone (ok, maybe 95% of people as some people really seem to have very bad luck!).

But it is how we react to and deal with those bad things that divide us.

Some degree of neuroticism is good for any person because they should be on the alert for threats (such as “every unlisted phone call is possibly a scammer”).

But if you are so neurotic that you view everything and everyone as a threat, chances are that you are not a happy person.

Studies have shown that ­highly neurotic people are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and have more mental health disorders.

They are also more likely to have difficult relationships, and high rates of divorce and unemployment.

How do neurotic people deal with bad things?

Let’s take an example of a bad thing, like losing your job.

A highly neurotic person may start to blame everyone but himself, e.g. his boss, his spouse, the back-stabbing colleagues, etc.

They become extremely stressed and take it out on their family.

They may spiral into depression quickly and take alcohol, or even drugs, to dull their senses.

An emotionally-stable person with a low degree of neuroticism would not exactly be happy with the job loss, but would manage to “cheer” himself up within a few days and take the opportunity to look for another job.

Instead of spiralling into depression, he would spend his time searching for new jobs, or even start up his own business.

It is totally possible to dial down your neurotic tendencies by recognising that you have them, and instead of choosing to give into the darker side effects, choosing something more positive instead.

Dr YLM graduated as a medical doctor, and has been writing for many years on various subjects such as medicine, health, computers and entertainment. For further information, email [e-mail]. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Neither The Star nor the author gives any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to such information. The Star and the author disclaim all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.