There comes a time in adulthood when money stops becoming a personal matter and starts being something shared.
Most of the time, that moment arrives when one enters parenthood, when the budget that once focused on individual expenses shifts towards daily household essentials, medical bills, childcare fees and education savings.
The transition from singlehood to family life, however, is not as easy as just spending less and saving more – a complete rethink of priorities is required.
According to Wealth Vantage Advisory licensed financial planner Nurul Iman Abdul Rahim, the financial difference between supporting one person and supporting a family is significant.
“Normally, being single mainly means paying for yourself, while having a family means taking responsibility for multiple people and building a larger financial safety net.”
She lists down some crucial things that may be overlooked once individuals become parents: a bigger living space, higher food expenses, medical fees and transportation.
But what’s just as important is the mindset, as financial decisions depend on what is best for the household instead of individual preferences.
“People also become more aware of shared financial risks. Any financial mistake or unexpected event can affect not only themselves but also their spouse and children.
“That’s why building an emergency fund, maintaining sufficient insurance and planning for unforeseen circumstances become much more important,” Nurul Iman adds.
Unexpected expenses
For Jasmine Yap, 31, the change immediately took place after the birth of her daughter.
“The biggest adjustment was realising that my spending decisions were no longer about myself. Once I became a parent, it started to revolve around my family and my daughter’s needs.
“Beyond the one-off baby purchases, there are many recurring monthly expenses like diapers, childcare, insurance and healthcare that become part of the budget.”
Because of this, Yap is much more intentional with planning and managing her finances as it involves thinking about the child’s future as well.
Like many new parents, she also discovered that some costs were far higher than anticipated.
One expense that floored her was the cost of staying at a confinement centre (a residential facility where new mothers stay after childbirth to rest and recuperate).
“It’s definitely not cheap, but looking back, it was a worthwhile investment because having proper rest and professional support during recovery made a huge difference for both my physical and mental well-being.”
Her daughter’s medical costs also took her by surprise.
“Even routine visits to clinics for vaccinations or when my daughter falls sick can add up over time. These aren’t huge one-off costs, but they’re regular expenditure that many first-time parents may underestimate,” she shares.
Nurul Iman says these experiences are common, particularly when it comes to childcare.
“I was personally shocked by the cost of it. During my time, it was easily RM1,500 to RM2,000 a month for a baby. For many families, childcare becomes one of the largest monthly expenses, sometimes even exceeding housing costs.”
Many of them, she observes, are shocked by the increased need for financial planning and emergency savings because even the smallest emergencies can have a big impact on the household.
Need versus want
As new parents find themselves reprioritising, their spending habits will also begin to change.
Yap says she rarely shops for herself anymore now.
“Nowadays, most of my online shopping cart is filled with things for my daughter instead of myself – diapers, books, educational toys and essentials. There’s a different kind of joy in buying things that support her growth and development.”
She has also become much more value-conscious and prefers thrifting her child’s clothes, which is more practical considering how kids outgrow their clothes quickly.
Nurul Iman believes families should resist the temptation to simply scale up their old lifestyle.
“One important step is distinguishing between genuine family needs and lifestyle wants. A growing family may require a larger home, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have to purchase the most expensive house they can afford.
“Successful budgeting requires adjusting lifestyle expectations and prioritising the family’s financial needs and long-term goals.”
Both of them concur that communication is one of the most valuable financial tools a couple can have.
Yap says that once she and her husband started planning for a family, conversations about money naturally evolved.
“We discussed the recurring expenses we could expect, how we wanted to divide responsibilities and how much we should set aside each month for savings and emergencies. We also agreed that major purchases should be discussed together instead of making impulsive decisions.”
Establishing strong foundations
More than just about who pays for what, Yap acknowledges it was about working together towards the same goal.
Nurul Iman agrees, adding that financial planning should begin long before a baby arrives.
“Couples should assess their financial situation, reduce unnecessary debt, establish a realistic household budget and estimate future costs.
"By strengthening their financial foundation before becoming parents, they can better manage future responsibilities and reduce financial stress.”
In retrospect, Yap’s advice would be to not assume everything is needed all at once.
“I also wish I’d known that you don’t have to buy everything brand new. Babies grow incredibly fast, and many items are only used for a short period.".
Buying secondhand or borrowing certain items, she explains, can reduce unneeded spending without compromising the child’s well-being.
“Overall, good communication, realistic budgeting and planning ahead will make the transition into parenthood much less stressful,” she concludes.
