Valentine's Special: Couple shares how their faith helped them overcome obstacles in life

Sheraine and Winson have always managed to work through differences and focus on the love they share for each other. Photo: The Star/Muhamad Shahril Rosli

Married couple Winson Loke, 42, and Sheraine Loke, 54, first got to know each other 20 years ago when Winson was a tenant at Sheraine’s parent’s home in Petaling Jaya. But it wasn’t until much later that their romance blossomed, the couple reveals.

“Initially I didn’t really ‘notice’ him in that kind of way because he’s much younger than me. But we got along well and I treated him ‘like a brother’,” says the petite Sheraine who is a music teacher.

“She was always kind and had a sweet nature,” adds Winson, a businessman.

They were both also dating other people at that time, but those relationships didn’t work out.

Subsequently, romance blossomed when Sheraine started driving Winson to church and they spent more time together. And, when he received a job posting in Australia and told her about it, it suddenly hit the both of them that they would not see each other for a long time.

Winson and Sheraine Loke first met when he was a tenant at her parents' home. Photo: Winson & Sheraine Loke

“I was wondering why she was suddenly so quiet and sad and thought, hmm... could it be that she has feelings for me... could it be that I have a chance with her?” he recalls. And that was when he decided to pursue her.

Winson turned down the overseas job offer and gave himself two months to pursue Sheraine.

“I didn’t realise I had feelings for her till one day when she went on a date with another guy and I stayed up all night waiting for her to return (to her parents’ home), wondering why she wasn’t back yet when it was already so late. I didn’t realise that I was jealous,” he admits and laughs.

“He was so funny and kept hinting and beating about the bush because he was shy to tell me directly and wanted to ‘test the waters’,” she says.

But the couple did face many obstacles and objections initially.

“It was not easy because at first, both our parents couldn’t accept our relationship due to the age difference, says Winson.

But not only did they grow to accept it, they have also given us their blessing, he says.

Another issue they faced was that people often asked why they had the same surname.

“Our surnames sound the same in English but they are actually different and also pronounced differently in Chinese, and we’re not related,” says Sheraine.

Age is just a number

The couple at their wedding in 2007. Photo: Winson & Sheraine Loke

Was age an issue for them? No, according to the couple.

“The age difference didn’t really matter to me. It wasn’t even in my mind. I just thought that she’s beautiful and a great person to be with,” says Winson.

“Initially, it did bother me, but he was able to accept it and eventually, I was also able to accept it. I just saw that he’s a kind, generous and helpful person,” says Sheraine.

“Yes, some friends did judge or disapprove of our relationship, but there were many others who also encouraged us and were supportive of us,” the couple adds.

“But what got us through all the obstacles was our faith as Christians. We also went through a marriage counselling course at church which helped prepare us for any potential issues that we might encounter,” says Winson.

“Well, we’ve already crossed many hurdles and are already halfway through life. We’ve been married since 2007 and are still going strong,” says Sheraine.

“Anyway, the age doesn’t matter. If you’re happy and contented with life, you’ll naturally look young,” says Winson. “Or maybe he looks... old,” adds Sheraine and the couple burst out laughing.

“What really matters is that both persons can really get along as a couple and grow together,” says Winson.

The couple has a daughter together who is now four years old.

“We tried a very long time for a child so we consider her our miracle child,” says Sheraine. “She is happy and healthy and going to kindergarten.”

What Valentine’s day means

(From right) Sheraine, Winson and their daughter Gabriella. Photo: The Star/Muhamad Shahril Rosli

“We don’t have to wait for a special occasion like Valentine’s day to celebrate our love,” says Winson. “We should appreciate and not take each other for granted each day.”

“On Valentine’s day, I’ll usually bring Sheraine out for a special dinner and maybe go shopping after that, while our baby will be looked after by my mum-in-law,” he says.

While Winson loves Japanese food, Sheraine enjoys all types of cuisine. And he enjoys scouting out new restaurants to bring her to.

This year, Valentine’s day falls on a Monday, so we’ll celebrate during the weekend, says Winson.

Learning to trust each other and also compromise is important, says Sheraine.

We’ve to consider five ‘B’s: bear with each other, bless each other, build each other up, believe in each other, and be there for each other, the couple advises.

They reveal that they learnt this during their marriage counselling sessions.

“Life may not always be a bed of roses and surely there will be disagreements at times, but you’ve to tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies and differences. And when there’s a disagreement, it’s always good to deal with it and not sweep it under the carpet,” says Sheraine.

“It’s important to spend time with each other. For example, men, when you take your wife shopping, don’t just wander off and do your own thing if she’s going into a store to buy women’s clothing. You should accompany her too,” says Winson.

“It’s important to be there for each other, whether it’s during good times or bad times,” he concludes.