A subtle brush that led to sexual abuse and lifelong trauma


PETALING JAYA: It started with a slight brush on the shoulder, then came the verbal and physical abuse at the hands of a home tutor.

The sexual and physical abuse came after Joe reached puberty at 14 years old.

Now in his 30s, Joe has become vocal about highlighting male-centred abuse.

His perpetrator was a male school teacher, who doubled up with home tutoring.

“After I reached puberty, he started being nicer to me. Yes, there was grooming, starting with a massage and rubbing on my elbows.

“Then he became bolder by performing oral sex on me. I felt very dirty,” he recalled.

Joe said he was not the only victim as another boy was also sexually abused by the teacher.

When the news became public, Joe said his mother asked if he was also a victim of the teacher.

But he denied any wrongdoing took place then.

It took him almost 20 years before he got the courage to file a police report against the teacher.

“I never followed up with the report because I wanted to put it behind me,” he added.

Joe said he came across the teacher one day at an eatery where he worked.

“I saw him with a group of boys. He was treating them nicely. I completely froze and hid,” he added.

Another victim, M, now in his 20s, revealed the abuse he faced while at a boarding school.

The betrayal came from his peers and the person who was supposed to educate him.

“It started when I was in Form 1, my friends hated me so they physically abused me. One day at 2am while studying, the person who was supposed to guide me also sexually assaulted me.

“I could not react in time to what was being done to me. It was truly shocking,” M added.

M claimed that when the physical and sexual abuse was raised with the school administration and teachers, the school hushed things up to protect its reputation.

He eventually left the school, but the damage was already done.

M said he was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety and trauma due to sexual harassment, name calling and bullying.

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