Seremban’s Syamsul has audience in stitches

THE sins of men are no laughing matter but it was delivered in such a way that left the entire hall in a state of LOL (laughing out loud).

Seremban delegate Syamsul Amri Ismail wanted Umno members to say no to corruption and for the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission should nab those who give bribes, instead of just arresting those who took the money.

“If no one gives bribe, no one will receive it.

“Let our faith be strong. When someone gives us RM50, we must tell them not to bribe us.

“When they hand us RM100, tell them not to challenge us.

“When they give RM500, let’s tell them ‘you are too much’.

“When they offer RM700, we should say they are testing our patience. But when they give RM1,000, we somehow end up saying ‘jangan cakap kuat-kuat (don’t say it out loud)’,” he said to the laughter of the audience.

Syamsul’s 40-minute debate on the motion on religion and education was all about the values required for the party’s survival but it was peppered with jokes that even the VIPs on the stage burst out laughing.

Umno, he said, must do more for everyone because in Islam, it was good to provide especially for the needy.

Citing an example of giving for charity, Syamsul spoke of how some people would ignore donation boxes.

“Some would just smile as they walk past the box. Senyum tu sedekah? Tabung tu nak duit, senyum tak nak (A smile is charity? The donation box needs money, not your smile),” he said.

Syamsul also said that Muslims are taught not be to greedy and to be thankful with whatever they have.

He spoke of how people must be willing to share, which he jokingly said was a thorny issue for women.

“What I meant, ladies, is that if there is food outside, only take one, don’t be greedy and take more than one.

“If you want to share, then it is fine.

“Women get very angry when we bring this up,” he joked.

Syamsul left everyone in stitches when he related another conversation.

“I said, if women allow men to marry, they can go to heaven. Their reply was ‘biarlah neraka!’ (Let us be in hell then).

“Some even said ‘cubalah kahwin, saya potong’ (Try doing so. I will castrate you).

“I am sure the man could not sleep soundly that night,” he quipped.