Lahad Datu – A year later: Wife recalls last moments with husband

PETALING JAYA: On the day Sergeant Salam Togiran was deployed to in Kampung Simunul, Semporna against Sulu gunmen, his wife Marlinah Utan felt something troubling her.

“I texted him, asking ‘How are you? Are you ok?’ He replied at 3pm, ‘Alhamdulillah, I am fine’. An hour or so later he called me and asked that I pray for his safety,” recalled the 40-year-old Sabahan.

“I told him I was worried about him and to always remember that there are loved ones at home waiting for him to return. That was the last conversation I had with my husband.”

Salam was among six police officers killed by Sulu gunmen during an ambush in Kampung Simunul, Semporna, Sabah on March 2, 2013.

On the night of the ambush, Marlinah was at a surau in Tawau with other members of Perkep (Association of Policemen’s Families).

“We were having special hajat prayers to ask for the safety of those stationed in Sabah and tahlil prayers for the late Insp Zulkifli Mamat and Kpl Sabaruddin Daud (VAT 69 commandos killed in Kampung Tanduo on March 1, 2013),” said the homemaker.

 

After prayers, Perkep members received word that policemen were attacked in the Kampung Simunul operation.

“It was then that I started getting frantic as I knew my husband was in Semporna. I shouted, ‘Help! My husband is there, my husband is there!’” she recalled.

Coincidentally, one of the officers’ wives, who had family in Semporna received a call from where the policemen were fighting with the gunmen.

The call was put through loudspeaker and gunshots echoed throughout the room.

“As they tried to calm me, more news arrived that a few of our men had fallen. I kept on asking for their names, in between tears,” recalled Marlinah.

“When they answered ‘Tuan Michael (Padel),’ it was as if I lost control of myself.

“I knew my husband was one of the fallen even though no one explicitly told me. I knew because wherever Tuan Michael was, my husband was sure to be beside him. They were very close friends,” she said.

Looking back at the past year, Marlinah hopes to never again experience what she did that night.

“It was torture, waiting and waiting for news about my husband. I contacted the police station, I called everyone but not a single person could tell me that my husband was no longer with us,” she said.

At 3pm the next day, Marlinah received a call from an officer from the Special Branch. He told her to wait for him at her home.

“By then, I had lost all strength. When he finally arrived, the officer brought my husband’s clothes from Semporna. It was then that I lost all hope of finding my husband alive.

“When I received the news that he had passed away but his body could not be brought home at the time, my heart broke. I hugged my children and tried to give them strength as best I could but my children had difficulty accepting it.”

Marlinah’s eldest son took the news especially badly because the 16-year-old boy had promised to be the one to lead his father’s funeral rites.

“My husband told my son that when he died, he would like my son to be the one to give him his last bath, to do the jenazah prayers and to lay him to rest in the grave. My son was sad, because he could never fulfill that promise. How could he, in that condition?" she asked.

A day before Salam’s death, the family had been watching news on television when there was a report that Zulkifli was killed in Kampung Tanduo.

“My husband told me, ‘Kalau macam ini, saya pun nak!’ (If this is what it is like there, I also want to be a part of it)," she recalled.

At the time, Salam was not yet assigned to Semporna and Marlinah had no notion of what was to happen.

“I was angry then. I said, ‘Don’t speak carelessly. If anything were to happen to you, what is to become of the family?’ He simply smiled and said, ‘This is mati syahid (It is a martyr’s death)’," she said.

When her husband received instructions to go to Semporna, Marlinah noted a change in Salam’s behaviour.

“He told me the invaders were dangerous people and that the mission might take longer than usual. He avoided looking at me the whole time but asked that I take good care of the family,” she said.

The most challenging obstacle for Marlinah now is in trying to fill her husband’s role in the family.

“The hardest thing for me is when the children look for their father. If they say, ‘if dad were here ...’ it really shatters me, but I try to be strong for my children,” said the mother of four.

To keep her going, Marlinah turns to the memories she shared with her late husband.

“All my memories of him are beautiful. To me, he was the best person I know. But sometimes I think, as much as he loved his children and me, he had more love for his country,” she said.

“Sometimes it makes me sad, but it also makes me a stronger person. It makes me proud of him.”

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