MALAYSIA has taken a significant step in tacking bullying, particularly in schools, through the Anti-Bullying Act 2026 and Anti-Bullying Tribunal that came into effect on June 16. While many countries have enacted anti-bullying laws, Malaysia is the first to establish a dedicated tribunal to address bullying cases involving children and adolescents. Impor-tantly, the legislation recognises that preventing bullying is a shared responsibility with provisions that may hold parents or guardians accountable in certain circumstances for bullying committed by their children.
The new law brings renewed attention to the critical role parents play in preventing bullying, encouraging them to take a more conscious and proactive approach in shaping their children’s behaviour. Though children are influenced by many factors beyond home and parents cannot realistically monitor every aspect of their online or offline interactions, parents remain central to fostering values and behaviours that discourage bullying in the first place.
There needs to be a broader conversation recognising the vital role of parents in preventing bullying, alongside the need for accountability.
Growing pains
The recent spate of bullying incidents in schools and their tragic consequences underscores the need for a holistic response involving schools, teachers, counsellors, parents, and the wider community to work together. While parents cannot prevent every instance of bullying, they can help build the protective factors that reduce the likelihood of children engaging in physical or verbal aggression at school.
This requires rethinking parenting beyond meeting children’s material and educational needs to nurturing compassionate, respectful, and resilient individuals who reject bullying and grow into responsible citizens.
Culture change at home
Though bullying should not always be conflated with mental health challenges, it often reflects deeper issues such as unresolved emotional distress, poor emotional regulation, and low self-esteem. It may also be associated with a lack of empathy and learned patterns of aggression from a child’s surroundings. If we are serious about preventing bullying, we must look beyond the behaviour itself and address the environments in which children grow, learn, and develop.
This raises an important question: What can parents do to create a healthy and supportive home environment that reduces the risk of bullying?
> Emotional safety begins at home. Children need homes where emotions are expressed safely and openly. In many families, feelings such as fear, sadness, and disappointment are dismissed or suppressed. Children, particularly boys, are told to “toughen up” instead of embracing their emotions. This hinders them from developing emotional awareness and regulation skills.
> Healthy coping mechanisms do not develop on their own, they must be learned and nurtured. When parents create a safe space for children to talk about their feelings, they help them process emotions constructively rather than act them out through violence. Children who lack healthy outlets for emotional expression may be more prone to intimidation or aggression, highlighting the importance of emotionally safe spaces at home as a protective factor against bullying.
> Parents must also look after themselves. In addition to creating emotionally safe spaces for children, parents must also pay attention to their own mental health challenges.
Parental stress, unresolved trauma and sustained family tensions can profoundly shape the emotional climate of the home and the wellbeing of children, even when adults try to conceal their struggles. These experiences can leave children struggling with emotional pain, aggressive behaviour, and difficulties seeking support when needed.
We must also consider the generational dimension of mental health challenges. Parents who grew up in environments marked by aggression or neglect may unknowingly repeat similar patterns in their own families. Seeking professional support can benefit not only parents but also their children by creating a healthier emotional environment at home and modelling the importance of seeking help when needed, both of which can help reduce the risk of bullying.
> Parenting cannot be outsourced. Though parents today lead increasingly busy lives and juggle multiple responsibilities, there is no substitute for active parenting in raising emotionally resilient children. Grandparents, domestic helpers, and childcare providers can offer invaluable support, but they cannot replace the unique role of parents in nurturing the emotional development of children.
Beyond providing for their children’s needs, parents must also be present, engaged, and emotionally available in their children’s lives.
Parents play a vital role in developing emotional intelligence, conflict-resolution skills, and healthy relationships by teaching children to understand their emotions, empathise with others, and resolve tensions without resorting to aggression.
By listening to their concerns, understanding their struggles and getting to know their friends, parents can build strong and trusting connections with their children. Such relationships can help reduce the risk of bullying, as children are less likely to seek validation through harmful behaviour,
> Building strong values from a young age. Parents also play an instrumental role in deliberately instilling values such as respect, kindness, and compassion among children. By consistently reinforcing these values, they can help nurture empathy in children and reduce the likelihood of bullying or cruelty towards others.
Children should be taught from a young age that bullying is wrong as both words and actions can cause lasting harm to others, whether online or offline
> Nurturing these values does not have to be complicated. Simple conversations such as, “How would you feel if someone did that to you?” can encourage emotional awareness and perspective-taking.
Children also learn much from what parents do: when respect and kindness is consistently modelled at home, they are less likely to view bullying as acceptable behaviour.
> Rethinking discipline beyond punishment: In creating a healthy emotional environment at home and modelling non-violent behaviour, parents must rethink how discipline is practised.
There is an important distinction to make between discipline and punishment: discipline is intended to teach and guide, while punishment focuses on imposing consequences. Though physical punishment like caning may achieve short-term deterrence, it can come with a significant emotional cost to children.
As a society, we need to be more aware of the potential consequences of caning children, including heightened anxiety, lower self-esteem, strained parent- child relationships and difficulties forming trusting relationships with adults. Physical punishment can also inadvertently teach children that force is an acceptable way to gain compliance or resolve conflict.
In contrast, non-violent discipline approaches, including positive reinforcement, restorative practices, and problem-solving discussions, promote lasting behavioural change and healthy conflict resolution while reducing the risk of bullying and aggression.
Raising resilient and responsible children
Beyond legal obligations, parents remain the single most important influence in raising children who reject bullying and treat others with respect. While schools, teachers and the wider community all have a role to play, prevention begins at home.
We know that those who are bullied may sometimes go on to bully others, but parents can help break this cycle by consciously nurturing the emotional skills, values, and behaviours that discourage aggression and promote compassion.
Above all, we need to redefine success in parenting and child development. Success should not be measured solely by academic achievement or career prospects, but also by a child’s capacity for empathy, kindness, and respect. By raising compassionate and resilient children, we can build safer schools, stronger communities, and a more caring society for generations to come.
Dr Arman I. Rashid is a Kuala Lumpur-born, Melbourne-based mental health counsellor, researcher, and trainer. He is a second-generation mental health practitioner, raised by both parents trained in psychology. The views expressed here are solely the writer’s own.
