BEING responsible for not one but two special children is a herculean task.
Yong Yek Ming, 60, is a single father of two sons on the autism spectrum.
Originally from Long Lama, a small town 145km from Miri, Sarawak, Yong once ran a business providing services to telecommunication companies.
However, after his sons were born, he sold it and switched to working from home in sales and marketing so he could be there for them.
“Honestly, I too wished for children like any parent. But I don’t dwell on the past, asking why or how my sons have autism.
“I try to enjoy what they bring into my life and turn challenges into something positive,” said Yong, who lives in Kuala Lumpur.
Yong (centre) flanked by Wei Jie (left) and Wei Xiang, decided to work from home soon after his sons were diagnosed with autism.
“When my sons were young, they would sit quietly while I drove. They didn’t fight or talk back.
“Some parents complain about their teens being argumentative. I didn’t face that, although I would have loved to hear my sons speak like other children.”
His eldest son, Yong Wei Jie, 25, is non-verbal, while the younger, Yong Wei Xiang, 24, is more verbal.
“One perk of having autistic sons is that they eat all my culinary experiments without complaint,” joked Yong, who enjoys cooking – a skill he honed while living in New Zealand during his university days.
He has travelled abroad with his sons.
“We enjoy activities like swimming and bowling. We visited Japan in 2020 and London in 2023,” he said.
Yong, who became a single father when his eldest son turned 20 following his divorce, has been advocating for autism awareness since both sons were young.
He dreams of a world where all autistic children and adults can live with dignity.
Yong recalled a turning point when Wei Jie was 20 months old.
Despite winning a baby contest, he seemed unaffected by the attention.
That prompted him to research online, where he first encountered the word “autism.”
“At the time, there was little information available, and even paediatricians in Sarawak didn’t know much about it,” he said.
“Eventually, I stopped asking ‘why’ and started looking for information on what to do next.”
He teaches his sons about socially acceptable behaviour – an area in which they often struggle.
“One of my sons loves Disney characters. If he sees someone wearing a Disney-themed T-shirt, he’ll try to hug them. I have to keep reminding him that it’s not okay,” said Yong.
In April, Wei Jie was hospitalised for an allergic reaction to antibiotics.
Yong leaned on his support network – mostly other parents of autistic children – for help.
One family even cared for Wei Xiang while his brother was in the hospital.
Over two decades, Yong has seen awareness grow, but acceptance remains a challenge.
“Strangers used to tell me not to bring my sons out because they didn’t behave like others.
“Once a woman scolded me, thinking I touched her, when it was actually my son. I explained, but she wouldn’t believe me.”
Still, there have been moments of kindness.
“Once, on my eldest son’s birthday, a stranger paid for our dinner at a mall. I never found out who it was,” he said.
Like other parents of special children, his greatest fear is their future.
Yong hopes to start a bakery workshop that serves as a shelter for autistic individuals.
“They could earn a living where they live, supported by government oversight and with employment benefits.
“I’d love to work with the government to establish workplaces where they could earn minimum wage and gain independence.”
As a father, his prayer always is: “I hope I die only one day after my children – because they depend on me,” he said.
Hamkanudin (centre) says it can be challenging being the only male in the family. With him are (from left) Sarini, Hana, Hany and Hayfaa. — Photos: AZLINA ABDULLAH and CHAN TAK KONG/The Star
Loving stepfather
They say love is blind, but for Hamkanudin Mohd Taufik, 46, love came with clear parental responsibilities.
He willingly stepped into the role of stepfather to Tengku Hana Haziqah Tengku Mohd Dzaraif, 20, who was born with cerebral palsy.
At the time, he was dating her mother, Sarini Bujang, 46, a single parent.
They met while working in the event management sector.
It wasn’t love at first sight, but while working on a project together, Hamkanudin learned about Hana, who was five then.
“I was also a musician then, with green hair, just to give you an idea of the lifestyle I was living,” he said with a laugh.
Sarini once left Hana alone with him to observe how he interacted with her daughter.
“One day, I even offered to pick Hana up when Sarini was working. Her maid was hesitant, but it went well,” Hamkanudin said.
Initially, his father was sceptical, but a cousin helped convince him to support the marriage.
The couple went on to have two more daughters, Hany Safiyya, 15, and Hayfaa Sumayya, 11.
“I’m the breadwinner and I work hard to support my family while being present in their lives,” he said.
“Running a business is tough, but it gives me flexibility.”
He even brought the entire family, including Hana and her maid, for umrah.
“I didn’t have much time with my own father growing up. He worked long hours in the corporate world.
“I experienced the same until I became self-employed. Now, I can manage my time and be with my children,” added Hamkanudin.
The couple support each other as a team, despite running their own business.
Hamkanudin also enjoys cooking and mountain biking.
“My wife and I love mountain biking together at the Bukit Kiara trail.”
Living in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur, allows the family to enjoy nature, while cooking has become another bonding activity.
He learns new recipes on YouTube, and his family is always game to try them.
As the only man in a house of five females, including a maid, comes with its fair share of highs and lows, said Hamkanudin.
“My wife calls me the Hulk when I’m frustrated
“But we’re a team, and I feel blessed to have this family,” he said.
Perseverance pays
Despite being a medical doctor Dr Adrian Wong, 48, initially overlooked the signs of autism in his eldest son, Ryan, 16.
His focus at the time was on his wife, Jenny Lim, 46, who suffered a stroke just five months after giving birth.
Dr Wong (second from left) decided to leave the medical profession to help his son Ryan (centre) after he was diagnosed with autism. Others in the photo are (from left) Dylan, Lim and Hayley.
She spent 40 days in intensive care, while Wong juggled caring for a newborn and his wife.
“Later, she suffered a second stroke. It was a difficult period for us.”
When Ryan was around two and a half, a relative – who is a paediatrician – noticed signs of autism and alerted him.
“Ryan had night terrors, couldn’t speak and had poor fine and gross motor skills,” added Dr Wong.
Since Lim also required therapy, both mother and son attended similar sessions, including speech therapy.
Dr Wong left the medical profession to become a full-time caregiver and focused on building a tech content website from home in Petaling Jaya.
“Ryan went through therapy every day and I repeated everything we learned at home.
“For years, we didn’t take holidays; we were entirely focused on therapy.
That dedication eventually paid off. When he was five or six, Ryan showed remarkable improvement.
“From a child who couldn’t grasp a water balloon, he was able to join Year One in a national school,” said Dr Wong.
“I didn’t inform the school about his condition at first.
“Later, his teacher called me to say he was being teased.
“When I explained, she was surprised because academically, he was doing fine.”
Ryan, now a school prefect, has achieved a black belt in taekwondo and enjoys self- learning through activities like waveboarding.
“He studies late into the night and constantly pushes himself.”
Ryan has two younger siblings – Dylan, 12, and Hayley, 10.
“They’re currently obsessed with Rubik’s Cubes, and I encourage them to explore their interests.
“My parenting style is to encourage independence.
“As for Ryan, the early intervention made a huge difference.
“Watching my children grow is the greatest joy,” said Dr Wong.
