Malaysian clinical cardiologist has autism, and she stands proud

Dr Rowina was diagnosed with high-functioning autism as an adult. Photos: The Star/Samuel Ong

Clinical cardiologist Dr Rowina Lynne Murray, 39, had just wrapped up a series of patient consultations when she grabbed a grilled chicken salad and a cup of coffee to go. It was past 2pm – another late lunch for the specialist at Institut Jantung Negara in Kuala Lumpur.

“Our meal times are always very erratic. It all depends on our work schedule, and the number of cases we have for the day,” says Dr Rowina during an interview at her workplace.

Dressed in pink scrubs, jeans and sports shoes, she moved through the halls with effortless warmth, greeting colleagues with smiles and hellos as she headed to her room to finally have her meal.

Despite the challenges of autism, Dr Rowina has found her rhythm in cardiology.

With her friendly demeanour, it’s no surprise that Dr Rowina is well-liked at her workplace.

Diagnosed with high-functioning autism as an adult, she is among the few who openly share their experiences with the condition.

“There is a huge stigma attached to disclosing the diagnosis as many see it as a liability. Disclosure also affects my ability to apply for insurance and it is something many advocacy groups are fighting to change.

“I am very open with my diagnosis because I’m confident that my track record at work protects me. I persist because I want to fight for change. If we keep hiding out of fear, nothing will change as no one will dare speak out,” shares the KL-based woman, who was diagnosed with autism when she was 36.

Dr Rowina says that educating society about adults with autism is crucial because many still face misunderstandings, stigma and barriers to employment, social inclusion and independent living.

Dr Rowina shares her personal account about being autistic and having attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) on her Instagram (@rowinalynne).

She is also a member of the autism advocacy group Autism Inclusiveness Direct Action Group (Aida) and has joined the group’s discussions with the Health Ministry on implementing possible solutions for training neuroinclusive healthcare workers.

Dr Rowina says that educating society about adults with autism is crucial because many still face misunderstandings, stigma and barriers to employment, social inclusion and independent living.

“I wish that people will one day not fear disclosing their diagnosis at work and that recruiters will not be prejudiced towards those who do. Don’t be scared of the possible but focus on the skill and talent the individual has to offer.”

Dr Rowina (centre) is determined to break the stigma surrounding autism and advocate for neuroinclusive workplaces.

A wide range of behaviours and impairments are associated with people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). It is not an illness that can be cured; it’s a lifelong condition, and those with autism usually require lifelong care.

According to Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the United States, autism affects one in 68 children. That would mean that approximately 9,000 children in Malaysia are born with autism every year, according to the National Autism Society of Malaysia (Nasom).

Signs of autism vary but often include difficulty with social interactions, trouble understanding non-verbal cues, intense focus on specific interests, sensory sensitivities, and a preference for routines.

Her autism story

Without an autism diagnosis in childhood, Dr Rowina faced many challenges growing up as a neurodivergent child.

“I knew something was not quite right because I struggled with rigidity. My sensory sensitivity was unbearable too. I never used school toilets because the humidity on my skin was overwhelming – even a bowel emergency wouldn’t make me go. I’d hold it until I got home, sweating from the pain.

“Once, I was so desperate that I faked being sick just to call my dad and go home to pee. Even now, I only use my own toilet at home. I also hated sports day in school. My friends would sit on the wet grass, but I refused, standing the entire day and going home with aching legs.”

To avoid being called “difficult”, Dr Rowina learned to keep quiet and just pretend.

“That led people to think that I was shy. I noticed that isolating myself minimised my constant unexplained discomfort with everything and helped me cope.

“During childhood right up to university, I used to sleep so much as a kid because that’s the only way to switch off my brain.

“My mother was a nurse, and she saw me struggling at school so she doubled down and built scaffolds around me that helped me survive. She used to be very involved in my school’s parent teacher association and would speak to my teachers often to pay more attention to me in school,” says Dr Rowina, who has two siblings.

Dr Rowina (front, right) says her family has been a pillar of support in her journey with autism. Photo: Dr Rowina Lynne Murray

It was during her time as a medical officer that she decided to seek treatment from a psychiatrist, initially believing she had anxiety or depression.

“Being a doctor myself and having the outdated stereotype knowledge of ADHD and autism, I doubted the diagnosis for the same reason everyone did; I did okay in school, I can speak and socialise.

“Despite being on two medications, nothing changed and my psychiatrist ended up asking me the question that changed my life: ‘Tell me how you were as a child.’ After telling him my story, he shook his head and said, ‘This is not anxiety. This is autism and ADHD.’ I ended up seeing three specialists just to finally convince myself that the diagnosis was indeed accurate.”

Dr Rowina (left) is grateful for the support of her sisters and family. Photo: Dr Rowina Lynne MurrayThe diagnosis came as a relief, and it made her realise that her brain was just wired differently.

“Prior to the diagnosis, I used to blame myself for being too sensitive, too rigid, too forgetful or too disorganised. I used to try mindfulness and all sorts of self-help advice and it would keep failing to a point that I felt frustrated.

“Most of my family members and friends and colleagues still don’t believe that I have autism, despite having three separate people giving me the same diagnosis. It’s mostly because I can keep up with most of my peers.

“I call it the curse of being twice exceptional... it is when you have a learning disorder but have a high intelligence to compensate,” says Dr Rowina, who earned her medical degree from Universiti Islam Antarabangsa in Kuantan.

She later pursued internal medicine before undergoing cardiology subspecialty training in 2022.

Thriving on routine

While autism is often seen in a negative light, Dr Rowina is somewhat grateful for having ADHD, as it draws her toward high-adrenaline situations and instant gratification. For her, cardiology is the perfect fit.

“Throughout the years I have realised that I can function well with routine and I have a knack for pattern recognition.

“This means when I first arrive at a new place I’m probably a candidate for worst employee of the year, but once I find my routine, I often thrive.

“This used to be quite challenging in the government sector as we moved a lot, disrupting my coping mechanisms.”

Dr Rowina (centre) feels blessed to have supportive colleagues by her side. Photo: Dr Rowina Lynne Murray

Adds Dr Rowina: “I don’t, for lack of a better description, appear autistic. I am mostly able to blend in and function at the same level as my peers. It is something that I am very grateful for as my family really supports me. But yeah, it is a challenge as the energy that I have to put in to something is more than my peers.

“So being successful at work means I sacrificed everything else. But it is something I am willing to do as I find joy in my work,” explains Dr Rowina, who copes with sensory sensitivities and burnout at work through isolation, avoidance and sleep.

When asked about misconceptions surrounding autism, especially in professional fields, Dr Rowina shared an experience: “I once struggled to adapt at work, and though I rarely use autism as an excuse, I was so cornered that I had to.

“The response? ‘If you knew you were autistic, why become a doctor?’ This mindset extends beyond autism to all disabilities – many believe that if you can’t cope, don’t do it.

“I understand that accommodating one person may seem inconvenient, like building a ramp for a single wheelchair user.

“But disability rights aren’t about charity – they are about basic human rights. Everyone deserves the chance to pursue ambitions, contribute to society and live a fulfilling life.”

For late-diagnosed autistic adults struggling with self-acceptance, she encourages them to embrace their strengths and acknowledge their weaknesses.

“We are our biggest critic but also our strongest advocate. Understanding ourselves is key to communicating our needs.

“I hope future support systems will help those without the privilege of family or friends,” she concludes.