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The strength of a woman is not measured by the hardships she endures but by her refusal to let those hardships define her.
My late mother was a courageous woman who never gave up easily when life threw her a curveball. From a young age, her inner strength and resilience kept her going, allowing her to remain positive despite the challenges she faced.
The Second World War in the 1940s brought significant changes to the lives of children in Malaya. It was a time of fear and uncertainty, disrupting education, safety and well-being.
Like many others, my mother was deeply affected by the war, experiencing loss, displacement and deprivation.
For safety reasons, she was sent to a boarding school, enduring the distress of being separated from her parents and siblings. This forced separation thrust her into adulthood far too soon.
After the war, many children struggled to reach the required levels of literacy. However, my mother adapted to wartime conditions, learning how to ration resources, live under price controls and survive without running water, electricity or proper sanitation. Despite the shortages of food and clothing, she persevered.
When she finally reunited with her family, she chose to rebuild their lives with strength rather than succumb to anxiety, fear or insecurity. Instead, she nurtured deeper bonds with her loved ones after years of separation.
On her 18th birthday in 1946, my mother began her career as a post-war probationary nurse. The war had depleted the workforce, and although she lacked formal medical training, she was hired for her language skills.
She entered a demanding profession where inadequate staffing, medical shortages, and the undervaluation of nursing roles posed significant challenges. Despite these obstacles, she remained dedicated, earning the respect of her peers as an even-tempered, hardworking, and compassionate caregiver.
Through perseverance and diligence, she completed her prescribed training and passed the examinations under the Midwives Enactment of 182. By the age of 23 in 1951, she was a certified midwife.
The following year, in 1952, the Nursing Board Federation of Malaya recognised her as a Registered Nurse in Negri Sembilan. Her values were always aligned with her unwavering commitment to patient advocacy and care.
The writer’s beloved mother, Usharani Biswas. Photo: Sheela Kanagasabai
A woman’s greatest power is simply in being a woman. As a compassionate caregiver, my mother attracted many suitors. In 1955, her father arranged her marriage to a government servant, believing he would provide a stable and reliable future. There was no courtship; instead, my parents found common ground through their shared experiences of life and death in their respective professions.
Though they were considered equal partners, my father prioritised his career as a police officer above his family. In his absence, my mother took on the responsibility of raising their children and managing the household, embodying selflessness and resilience.
After the birth of her third child, my mother made the difficult decision to leave her career and dedicate herself fully to her family. The pressures of balancing work, motherhood, and marriage took a toll on her well-being. The relentless demands of maintaining the ideal work-life balance eventually strained her health and happiness.
One moment of confrontation stands out vividly in my memory. My father, in a moment of frustration, criticised my mother’s housekeeping. His words were both cruel and selfish. My mother, with her characteristic wisdom, responded: “Perfect homes and immaculate kitchens are impossible when God blesses you with children.” These words have remained with me, serving as a constant reminder to embrace life’s changes with grace.
As women, we often struggle to measure up to the ideals of motherhood and perfection. Yet, strong women understand their weaknesses and insecurities, recognising that strength is inherently feminine, compassionate, and forgiving.
I was blessed to have my mother’s love, friendship and unwavering support. She inspired me every single day through her actions. Her determination and achievements stand as a tribute to the struggles she overcame and the dreams she pursued, despite societal norms and expectations.
Mothers, sisters, wives, friends and mentors – women who drive change – continue to play an essential role in shaping society.
This International Women’s Day, let us take a moment to reflect on the unique journeys of women worldwide. This day serves as a poignant reminder of the resilience and triumphs of extraordinary women who have faced racism, poverty, gender inequality, domestic violence, war, isolation and barriers to healthcare and education.
Today, let us celebrate the many accomplishments of the remarkable women in our lives.
