There was a time when boredom was simply part of life.
We waited for the bus without looking at a screen.
We sat at a restaurant and talked to one another instead of scrolling.
Children played outside because there was little else to do.
Shopping meant going to a shop.
Entertainment had a beginning and an end.
Today, we live in a very different world.
Within seconds, we can order food, buy almost anything online, watch an endless stream of videos, play games, gamble, access pornography, communicate with hundreds of people or receive a steady stream of news and entertainment.
Our smartphones have become portable gateways to an extraordinary universe of stimulation.
This is what Stanford University psychiatrist Dr Anna Lembke describes in her book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.
Her central message is simple: we live in an age of unprecedented abundance of pleasure, but our brains were not designed to consume pleasure without limits.
We are increasingly becoming a dopamine-rich society.
At the end of 2025, Malaysia had an estimated 35.4 million internet users – about 98% of the population.
Credible sources report 30.7 million social media user identities, equivalent to about 85% of the population.
These figures are not inherently alarming.
Digital technology has transformed our lives in enormously positive ways.
It has democratised information, connected families, created new businesses and made healthcare, education and financial services more accessible.
The problem begins when technology stops being something we use and becomes something that uses us.
The dopamine trap
Dopamine is often described simplistically as the “pleasure chemical” in the brain.
In reality, its role is considerably more complex, particularly in motivation, reward learning and the anticipation of rewarding experiences.
When we experience something pleasurable, the brain;s reward system responds, but it also attempts to restore equilibrium.
After a pleasurable experience, we may experience a period of reduced pleasure or discomfort, encouraging us to seek stimulus again.
One chocolate becomes another.
One episode becomes another.
One notification leads to another check of the phone and so the cycle begins.
Dr Lembke argues that the problem is not pleasure itself but the relentless pursuit of it.
This has profound implications for us in Malaysia.
Consider smartphones.
We reach for it when we wake up.
We check messages while having breakfast.
We scroll during traffic jams, at traffic lights and in lifts.
We check it while watching television.
We take it to the dinner table.
Some of us even take it to bed.
We are rarely bored anymore, but perhaps boredom was not the enemy we imagined it to be.
When boredom becomes intolerable
Boredom actually creates space for reflection, imagination and conversation.
Children learn to entertain themselves.
Adults may think, daydream or rest.
Yet many of us have become uncomfortable with even a few minutes of inactivity.
Waiting in a queue becomes an opportunity to scroll.
A quiet moment becomes an opportunity to shop online.
A difficult emotion becomes a reason to seek distraction.
When we are sad, we scroll.
When we are lonely, we go online, and when we are unable to sleep, we reach for the phone.
The danger is that technology becomes a form of emotional regulation.
Instead of learning to tolerate discomfort, we learn to escape it instantly.
This matters because life inevitably contains frustration, disappointment, loneliness, rejection, uncertainty and loss.
If we become accustomed to eliminating every uncomfortable feeling immediately, we may gradually lose our capacity to tolerate ordinary emotional pain.
From abundance to addiction
This does not mean that everyone who uses social media is addicted.
Nor should every enthusiastic gamer or online shopper be labelled as having an addiction.
However, there is a continuum between ordinary enjoyment and compulsive behaviour.
The warning signs are all too familiar.
Spending increasing amounts of time on an activity and finding it difficult to stop.
This can lead to neglect of responsibilities, using the activity to escape unpleasant emotions and feeling restless or irritable when access is restricted.
Addiction is not simply about the substance or activity.
It is also about the relationship between the individual, the reward and the environment.
Our environment has certainly changed dramatically.
Digital platforms are designed to capture attention.
Notifications, personalised recommendations, endless scrolling and rapidly changing content create an environment in which the next reward is always just one tap away.
The reward is intermittent and unpredictable, and this can make it particularly compelling.
We are not merely consuming content.
Increasingly, content is competing to consume us.
In Malaysia, we increasingly practice a culture of convenience.
Food delivery is available almost instantly.
Online shopping brings millions of products to our doorstep. Cashless payments make purchasing frictionless.
Entertainment is available around the clock.
Convenience is wonderful, but friction can sometimes protect us from ourselves.
Driving to a shop creates a pause before purchasing.
Walking to a restaurant creates a pause before eating.
Waiting for a television programme creates a natural boundary.
The digital economy is progressively removing those pauses.
When there is no pause between wanting and obtaining, impulse has very little opportunity to become reflection.
We need to create barriers between desire and consumption.
We may need to rediscover this principle in everyday Malaysian life.
We can start with putting the phone outside the bedroom.
We should create screen-free meal times and have conversations without screens on the table.
Children need not be automatically given a smartphone whenever they complain of boredom.
Surely we can easily turn off unnecessary notifications and resist the temptation to respond immediately to every message.
Reclaiming discomfort
One of Dr Lembke’s most provocative arguments is that some discomfort may actually be good for us.
Exercise is uncomfortable.
Studying can be frustrating.
Building a relationship requires patience.
Raising children is exhausting.
Meaningful work often involves failure and disappointment.
Yet these experiences can also produce some of life’s deepest rewards.
If we constantly choose the easiest, fastest and most pleasurable option, we may gradually lose our appreciation for effort and delayed gratification.
There is an important lesson here for parents.
We should not aim to create childhoods completely free of frustration.
Children need opportunities to wait, struggle, fail, solve problems and experience boredom.
The ability to say “no” to an immediate reward in favour of something more meaningful later is one of the foundations of psychological resilience.
Seeking instant gratification
Perhaps the question we should ask is not whether Malaysians are becoming addicted to smartphones or social media.
The more fundamental question is whether we are becoming addicted to stimulation itself.
We live surrounded by noise in the form of notifications, advertisements, videos, messages, news, music, shopping offers and an endless supply of entertainment.
Silence has become unusual, stillness has become uncomfortable, and boredom has become something to be eliminated.
The problem is not dopamine.
The problem is a society that has become exceptionally good at providing instant gratification and is exceptionally poor at teaching us how to wait.
We should not reject technology, nor should we romanticise the past.
Digital technology has brought enormous benefits to Malaysian society and will remain central to our future.
However, we need a healthier relationship with it.
The objective should not be a dopamine-free life.
That is neither possible nor desirable.
The objective is to balance pleasure and purpose.
We need convenience, but also patience.
We need stimulation, but also silence.
Perhaps, occasionally, we need to do nothing at all.
In a society where everything is designed to capture our attention, the ability to put down the phone, tolerate boredom and simply be present may become one of the most important forms of psychological freedom.
Recovery begins with abstinence.
In a dopamine-rich society, perhaps recovery begins with the simple thought that we do not have to satisfy every desire the moment it appears.
Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj is a consultant psychiatrist and the Malaysian Mental Health Association president. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
