Imagine starting your Friday morning at a camping site where no phones are allowed throughout the weekend. It may not sound like everyone’s idea of a good time, but motivational programme organisers are taking this approach to help primary and secondary school students develop healthier screen habits.
Counsellor and lead facilitator Umi Nor Fadhilah Hariz Joseph explains that all phones will be collected and put away, assuring parents that the temporary disconnection helps children stay present and engaged.
“Initially, there will be some disgruntled students. But after a day spent outdoors and taking part in activities like jungle trekking, we ask them if they miss their phones and most say no, because they are having fun,” she says during an interview with StarLifestyle in Hulu Langat, Selangor.
Later, for indoor sessions, Umi Nor Fadhilah says participants will be introduced to a highly-requested programme – yes, by parents – on gadget addiction. More specifically, she adds that the focus is on helping participants understand how they can continue using their gadgets in a more responsible and balanced manner.
This is due to the many text message exchanges and conversations that Umi Nor Fadhilah and her fellow counsellors have had with distressed parents.
“Parents say they feel stressed trying to reduce their children’s screen time, often leading to arguments instead. They often tell us that they don’t know what to do anymore,” she says.
Feeling disconnected
According to Umi Nor Fadhilah, co-founder of Dreams Management and Motivation Consultancy – which provides motivational and training programmes for both primary and secondary schools across Peninsular Malaysia – parents concerned about prolonged screen time are increasingly struggling to set boundaries for their children, a challenge that intensified after extended device use during the pandemic.
“Many parents tell us their children are harder to manage, show signs of social development challenges and potential addiction, and become upset, angry or throw tantrums when asked to put their phones away,” she says.
Certain incidents can also prompt more parents to seek guidance. Umi Nor Fadhilah says inquiries about gadget addiction increased after a child reportedly harmed his brother in Batu Pahat, Johor, last October. Initial investigations indicated the incident was linked to the child getting upset when points he had earned in the video game Roblox were accidentally deleted by his brother.
“After the Bandar Utama school incident (in the same month), we also saw a noticeable increase in parents reaching out about our gadget addiction module due to concerns that their child may be overly exposed to violent content online,” she says.
It’s not just parents who are worried. Umi Nor Fadhilah shares that teachers have also expressed concerns about the effects of uncontrolled gadget use on students.
“Teachers have observed declining academic performance, as students spend more time on devices instead of revising at home. Some are also becoming withdrawn and less engaged with their peers, as they think about their online world even at school,” she notes.
For those who do interact, teachers have flagged concerns about how students communicate, with some discussing violent acts, behaviour they believe may be influenced by content on gaming platforms or social media.
“Parents said they allowed their children more screen time during the pandemic for online learning, but the habit became difficult to control,” she says.
Since 2023, the company began introducing a module on gadget addiction in its motivational programmes for both school students and camp participants.
Facilitators begin by having students share how much time they spend on their devices each day. These sessions usually last around two hours, after which the discussion moves on to topics such as stress management and career planning for the future.
“We find that most students say they spend at least five to six hours a day on their devices at home, mainly scrolling through social media or playing games. Some even bring their phones to school to create content,” she adds.
When the company was established in 2017, co-founder Syed Muhammad Syafiq Syed Omar says parents and teachers were primarily concerned about students’ exposure to online pornography.
“At the time, not all students had access to the Internet. But there were concerns that those who did might be exposed to pornography, which could affect their behaviour. So we developed a module to address this, focusing on the risks, including its potential link to premarital sex and other social issues,” he says.
Now, he says, those concerns have expanded significantly.
“Today, parents are no longer just worried about exposure to inappropriate content. They are increasingly concerned about overall screen dependency, including excessive gaming and social media use, and how it affects students’ behaviour, focus, and mental health,” he adds.
Time limits
When contacted, Mohd Zulhazri Azmi, a motivational trainer at SmartCamp, says he has heard similar feedback from both parents and teachers at schools where the company conducts leadership programmes and camps for students.
He shares that teachers are complaining about students not completing their homework or dozing off in class.
“When teachers ask why, students often say they didn’t have enough time or stayed up late. Eventually, many admit they were playing games or watching online videos on their phones instead of going to bed early, before 10pm,” says Mohd Zulhazri.
Due to such prevalent behaviour at school, Mohd Zulhazri says there has been an increase in requests to talk to students about gadget addiction.
“Teachers have asked if we can hold a discussion with students to help them understand how excessive screen time may be affecting their behaviour at school. At the moment, we don’t have a dedicated module on this, but we plan to include the topic as part of broader sessions on responsible gadget use,” he says.
As a motivational trainer, Mohd Zulhazri encourages students to be productive, aiming for both academic excellence and personal growth.
“I remind them that they have a responsibility to do well in school, as their parents have sacrificed time, energy, and resources to raise them. The session can get emotional when we point out that their parents may not always be around to support them. We then ask them to reflect on what could happen if they continue their current behaviour of spending too much time on their gadgets,” he says.
For Umi Nor Fadhilah, her gadget addiction module includes activities that help students understand how much time they may be spending on their devices.
“For example, we give them a piece of paper with 24 boxes, representing the hours in a day. They see that they spend six hours at school, and then we ask them what they do with the remaining time. Some realise that they have very little left for essential activities like homework, meals, or even rest because so much of their day is spent looking at screens,” she says.
She explains that the module encourages students to reflect on how their device use affects daily life, including their academic performance.
“By recognising this, they learn the value of time management and the importance of prioritising schoolwork plus their wellbeing over activities like online gaming and social media,” she adds.
Parental involvement
But is it enough to rely solely on motivational trainers and counsellors to tackle the challenges of students’ prolonged screen time? Schools also want parents to be involved.
“Yes, some schools have requested sessions just for parents covering topics such as teen development, including how to guide their children to manage screen time responsibly,” says Umi Nor Fadhilah, adding that most parents are open to the idea after discussions with teachers.
Mohd Zulhazri says he has also received the same feedback regarding teachers’ requests: “They want to see a parenting slot where we talk to parents about how to improve communication with children, be better at motivating them to study and also learn some basic skills to curb gadget addiction like parental controls.”
He believes it may not be enough to instil awareness in students alone if their parents are not reinforcing these habits at home and providing consistent guidance.
Child development consultant and counselling psychologist Anna Tan agrees that parents play a pivotal role in leading children to develop healthy digital habits. In the past three years, Tan says she has received more inquiries from parents with concerns about their children’s relationship with gadgets.
“A lot of the time the parents will say ‘Fix my child’. The child is the reason for the parents coming here to seek help. But I always tell the parents that this is a group assignment,” says Tan, who is also the founder of Petaling Jaya-based SNS Child & Family Development Center.
Tan acknowledges that while most parents work hard to provide for their children, they may miss out on quality time with them, often relying on teachers or after-school caregivers to fill the gap.
It seems likely to Tan that most parents end up with only two to three hours at home after working hours and often would want to have time to themselves. In her work with children, Tan has observed that some do not find mobile games particularly engaging, but still rely on them as a “primary way to connect with friends”.
In such cases, Tan suggests that children may turn to their devices as a way to meet their social need for connection. She believes some children may seem addicted to gaming because they seek the dopamine rush.
“The instant gratification from such activities is helping them to feel good because they feel a sense of achievement. Perhaps, they think of the online world as their safe space as they lack good real-life experiences to enable them to get away from their devices,” she adds.
Tan advises parents to establish clear ground rules and structure before introducing a device to their teenager, followed by consistent monitoring and guidance throughout its use, including setting limits on screen time.
“And is the adult around practising the same ground rules? Because we’ve heard from the children complaining about the parents telling them to get off the phone. But they say ‘My parents are also scrolling non-stop’,” she adds.
Ultimately, Tan hopes parents will prioritise quality time with their children and maintain open communication, helping to prevent excessive device use and reduce reliance on their phones.
Tan explains: “No child is born addicted to gadgets, this is a learned behaviour as they are most likely mirroring their main caregivers.”
“It takes a modern village...”
When it comes to feedback from students after the sessions, Umi Nor Fadhilah shares that most will tell her that they feel thankful for feeling seen.
“Based on what they tell us, it seems they just want adults to listen to them without feeling judged or made to feel guilty for whatever issues they may be facing,” she says, adding that most students promise to change by focusing more on their studies and learning to understand their parents.
She adds that parents would also continue to seek personal advice from her after their sessions. “My phone will light up in the middle of the night with messages from some parents who feel bad after having arguments with their children. Mostly centred around gadget use.
“For some cases, we do encourage them to take up a personal counselling session if they feel the need to explore deeper issues that will help them improve the relationship with their children,” she adds.
Tan says motivational sessions touching on gadget addiction at school are a good start to help children. However, she notes that lasting results can only be achieved through continuous effort and reinforcement at home and in daily routines.
She adds that parents also need to keep up with the latest development in gaming platforms and social media as well as how children may interact with AI chatbots.
“It takes a modern village to raise a child in the digital age, with teachers, counsellors, motivational speakers, and parents working together. Even authorities and platform providers must play their part in reducing risks.
“This goes back to what I said earlier, it’s a group assignment,” she says.
