Heading back to school after a lengthy break can be tough for many youngsters.
Some may feel anxious about a new timetable or pressure entering classes that are not familiar.
If your youngster seems stuck, overwhelmed or listless, avoid putting any additional pressure on them.
"Accusations, comparisons or phrases like ‘Pull yourself together’ usually do not help, because they can intensify feelings of shame and resistance,” says education specialist Ulrike Lichtinger, professor of social sciences at IU International University.
But how do kids get into the flow? How can their motivation grow?
"With small, achievable steps,” she says.
After holidays, many kids and teens first need time to settle back into the school routine.
"Motivation and self-confidence grow best when the transition isn’t too big or too demanding,” says Lichtinger, who researches positive education.
What’s needed for this, however, is a sense of achievement, Lichtinger says. She spells out five ways that parents can create these important islands of success.
Pick up where they left off: choose two or three tasks rather than ploughing through the entire syllabus
If a child is feeling insecure or struggling with maths, when trying to get back on track for the new school year, don't plough through last year's whole syllabus as it would be overwhelming.
"It’s better if parents say, ‘Let’s pick out two or three problems that you’ve managed before. And then we’ll see how you can build on that’,” Lichtinger says.
Once a child has solved these problems, they realise, "Wow, I can actually still do something!” That will get them back into the subject and, ideally, open them up to tackle a tougher problem.
Agree on mini-goals and provide feedback on success
"Set goals time and again, but keep them small," says Lichtinger. That also applies in daily life. Suggest a routine.
You could agree the night before that the child will put their hand up at least once during maths lesson. Or that they’ll complete a task you’ve discussed all by themselves. Or that they speak to a child in the school playground if they’re very shy.
What counts afterwards is talking about it. In the evening, say, you might ask, "How did it go?"
If your kid made progress, parents shouldn’t just praise them by saying, "Well done," but provide specific feedback on exactly why and what went well. You could say, "You got started today, even though you didn’t feel like it," or "You stuck with the task, even though it was very difficult."
Draw a progress board as a mountain climb
Create a progress board. Take a sheet of A3 paper and draw the school year as a mountain climb, with the summit representing the end of the school year.
You can stick post-its all along the way, listing things your child has achieved.
That helps a kid realise, "Wow, I’ve actually managed quite a lot after all," even though they may have felt the opposite after a botched class test. "That’s because our memories tend to hold on to the negative aspects," says Lichtinger. That’s why the experience of self-efficacy is so important.
The 3-2-1 check before a test
"Help, I’ve forgotten everything," kids often complain before a test.
Lichtinger’s tip is to set a 5-minute timer together and in that time, let your kid put their notebook aside and write down three things they still do know.
Then note down two things they’re not entirely sure about. And one thing they didn't understand.
That gives a youngster a sense that they’re not completely empty of all knowledge.
"It’s rare for a child not to have understood anything at all. It means they don’t start from scratch and know what they need to focus on now," Lichtinger says.
Overcoming the hurdle of getting started
Sometimes children are faced with a mountain of homework tasks all at once and feel completely overwhelmed.
At times like these, parents can offer emotional support, maybe by saying, "I can see that you’re finding this difficult.”
They can then suggest a solution, like tackling it in small chunks.
That is not downplaying the tasks, but helping overcome the hurdle of getting started. "After all, we don’t eat a sausage all in one go, but in small pieces,” says Lichtinger, explaining the principle.
For example, say:
- Why not just do the first task on this worksheet to start with?
- Why not just underline the most important keyword in the task description?
- Facing a task that involves writing? Why not just write the heading for a start? Or three keywords.
"These tips to get started aren’t about deciding how the child is supposed to manage it all, but simply about choosing an initial topic and getting started,” says Lichtinger. Ideally, a kid can then tackle everything one step at a time.
And what if, as a parent, you want to help out even more and find yourself reaching for a pen?
It is better not to. "What parents shouldn’t do is take the work off their children’s hands,” Lichtinger says. – By Claudia Wittke-Gaida/dpa
