StarSilver: Living with joy, compassion and resilience


By MARY EU
Nurturing a playful spirit helps wake up our creativity and get our nervous systems back into the healthy zone of repose. Photo: 123rf.com

There will be times in life when you feel deflated and dispirited. Times when we become unmotivated, fearful, hemmed in, wrought with worry – and don’t know why. Just weary of the uncertainty, and weary of a world that has gone quite mad.

Yet, we are called to live with resilience, and be a sensitive and compassionate person. So how do we manoeuvre challenges and pitfalls wisely to become stronger and more resilient? Is it possible to wring joy out of every demanding situation?

Since challenges are part of living, we need to mentor ourselves in difficult times so as not to descend into the doldrums. We need to build our personal empowerment to transform hardships into opportunities. But still – the confusion.

Quiet reflection and small, significant actions based on what we have gone through, can harness commendable, steely resilience to turn roadblocks into possibilities.

Strangely, the habits of a vibrant mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Resilience is one of the most enduring human traits. And sometimes we simply need to summon patience and wait out the pain. Try disciplining our emotions, and time will usually put right the sticky situations. At other times, we need courage to view mistakes or setbacks as a learning experience.

Knowledge plus humility will give us wisdom to tackle each problem as it comes. And when we combine wisdom with compassion, we get strength and mental fortitude to share selfless love with others.

Extending help to others produces joy in the giver. When we are in a happy frame of mind, problems seem to diminish because we have gained fresh perspective to solve them.

There are opportunities for growth and self-understanding with each challenge we overcome. We also get to renew our confidence, and replenish our self-esteem. Like layering a strong foundation with bricks and mortar, we build confidence and resilience through overcoming the curveballs thrown our way. Struggles do indeed make a person mentally and emotionally tougher.

Even as our various faculties slow down with age, we still wield impactful influence over the quality of our lives. Experience makes older people more calm and resilient when things do not go as planned. We are unfazed by the jolts and strains of the stifling pettiness of life.

Although unforeseen struggles can cast a pall on our day, overcoming them helps us grow in patience and courage – we will not be easily upended by future hiccups in life.

Being compassionate is good but compassion needs to be mixed with sensitivity and tactfulness so as to protect the dignity of the person in need.

When I am in town running errands, I sometimes see women sitting on sidewalks selling junk food, simple household items or craft work and rattan products. I don’t need those things they are selling but will usually buy something from them, and ask them to keep the change. They would protest at my small generosity but I quickly walk away before they make a big deal out of it. We are here to make another person’s life easier along this common journey we call life.

Creative ways of showing compassion help us reach out to those less fortunate than us. Love incarnated in actions, is love in its most sincere manner. We can all expand our power by helping others in whatever way we can, and create a sense of shared humanity.

Now in my 60s, I have learnt to be gentle with myself, and make a conscious effort to be gentle with others too. Grow your own joy and you will be oriented towards kindness and self-fulfillment.

We all go through challenges in different stages of our lives and in different formats. Rich or poor, powerful or trodden, famous or obscure – the endgame is the same, only the journey is different.

There’s a lush blooming jasmine bush growing in my garden a few metres from where my washing machines are placed. On a breezy morning, the fragrance of its white flowers wafts to my senses as I do my laundry, and provides a surprise bonus to my day. This is how joy lands in the moment and gives clarity to things that are free but beautiful. We need stimulation in our daily lives to enable us to move forward with ease and joy.

If we want to feel fully alive, we need to feed our creative spirit. And for me, that includes play. I create a smiley with my food and take a snapshot of it. One of the enjoyable games I play with my seven-year-old grandson is to take turns to complete sentences in the funniest way we can. We also love to play finding Homophones and Homonyms. Both of us enjoy honing our creativity with words and have fun. We deserve this joy.

Fun is finding pleasure in the things we do, be it silly or whimsy. We should lean into what truly lights us up and ignites the fire within us.

My husband gets a kick out of using food to entertain our grandkids. He sticks two French fries – one on each side of his mouth – and hisses like a vampire. Sometimes he clips slightly opened groundnuts on his earlobes, or clicks his dentures up and down to creep them out.

Nurturing a playful spirit helps wake up our creativity and get our nervous systems back into the healthy zone of repose.

To live joyously, raise our vibration and have an off-script adventure. Have some impromptu celebration to feel grateful for togetherness. You don’t need to wait for good news to be in a happy mood. But we can add fun into our routine to boost our mental health.

We always pay attention to bank interest rates, currency exchange rates, our blood sugar level, and blood pressure readings. Why not do something that will brighten our day, turbocharge our energy, and give our spirit a fillip?

We can actually level up our state of being, reclaim joy and be grateful that we are safe, well-fed and rested. In other words, live our best life with zing and good humour. Sometimes life is pretty good. Carpe diem!


Mary Eu is a retiree who has a passion for writing. When she is not prowling the shopping mall looking for a dress to scream into, she can be seen reading, writing or home decorating.

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