Relationship Status: Valentine's Day and the pressure on some singles

Relationships are great, but they come with big responsibilities. Photo: Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Dating is a part of life some look forward to but others run away from for dear life. Both for good reason.

In Asian culture, elders often bestow the age-old advice: “Study first. Get a good job. Then only date.” Only to ask you later, “Eh, why you not married yet ah?”

This irony tells us that finding a romantic partner is an unspoken priority that ends up being a milestone many seek, sometimes to their own detriment.

With the season of love upon us, and people now getting back into their social lives after two years of restricted movement (hopefully all boosted), the hunt for a partner (or a Valentine's date) may once again be a priority.

A 2021 survey by Asian dating service Lunch Actually, found that over 93% of Malaysian singles between the ages of 24 and 55 want to be in a committed relationship.But before you start looking out for prospects and updating your relationship statues, here are some points you may want to consider before entering the dating pool.

Societal Pressure

In the same survey from Lunch Actually, over 27% of singles feel pressure from family and friends to find a partner.

Over time, the sly nudging and prodding about our love life from our (well-meaning) family can begin to influence our self-esteem and decisions, after all they are the people we choose to trust the most.

Seeing couple-y photos of friends, or even strangers, with their partners on social media constantly can also trigger insecurities about one's own prospects.

On top of that, speaking on behalf of Gen Z, these past years has been the time of seeing our millennial seniors get engaged, get married, and have children all within the span of a global pandemic.

The displays of love are beautiful to watch but they can leave a group of single people to resent their current relationship status.

But while a relationship is something joyous to be celebrated, it should not be forced unto someone as something to aspire to like a promotion at work - for there really is no shame, or lack of joy, in choosing to be single.

Not always bed of roses

Relationships are great, but they come with big responsibilities. Many people get into dating for the romance of it all and the joy of another person's company. But all relationships come with challenges: The unpleasant quirks of a partner or maybe even some emotional baggage. Being in a committed long-term relationship requires emotional availability and sensitivity to the needs and wants of both parties. Nurturing a relationship also requires time.

To the inexperienced social inept, this can be exhausting. After all, when you're single the only person you need to take care of is yourself.

Emotions aside, money can play a big factor in the relationship as obligations of meal, gifts, and other expenses have to be divided between partners. No one expects budgeting to be a part of a relationship but it does come into play.

So are you ready to let someone into your life? Or maybe just opt for casual dating (or just hang out with and make new friends) and hold off on updating your relationship status, if at all.

Check yourself

Go into dating with realistic and healthy expectations. You may not find ‘The One’ but that does not mean the person you’re with will not bring value as a partner or a friend. Sometimes, maybe all you're looking for is a connection with other people, not necessarily a boyfriend or girlfriend. You may not realise it but having a close group of friends to confide in may be as emotionally satisfying. Bottom-line, be it a relationship or friendship, find positive, like minded individuals and you will have a good start. Good luck, have fun and stay safe!