Dear Thelma: I love him so much but he is a lying two-timer


  • Family
  • Sunday, 12 Jul 2020

I have an issue with my boyfriend that has been going on for months. I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 18 years older than me. He has two children and is divorced. We’ve been dating for almost three years.

About one-and-a-half years into the relationship, I visited his place and found a woman’s hair in his bed. When I confronted him about it, he denied everything. However I got a bad feeling about it and was also curious. So I did something I wasn’t proud of – I snooped around his phone to find out the truth. I found out that he was playing me with four other ladies in the past.

When I confronted him, he was so guilty and defensive. We almost broke up because I was so disappointed. But he begged me and I love him so much that I gave in. Months later, I saw in his phone that he had started dropping those ladies and was no longer responding to their persuading except for one woman whom he had started dating before me.

I felt that he was very attached to her. She’s married, with children. They had been seeing each other for some years. They’d meet up every week. So I confronted him and he said that the relationship would end like all the others. I felt hurt but decided to stay.

Months later, I got pregnant with him and he wanted us to have the child. Two months into my pregnancy, the other woman found out about it.

She also found out that I had met his children, whereas she hadn’t, and yet she knew him before I did. She got furious and kind of obsessive and would throw tantrums and make threats. She left her house and told my boyfriend that she must stay with him.

Subscribe now to our Premium Plan for an ad-free and unlimited reading experience!

Couple relationships , love affairs

   

Next In Family

Six things you may not have known about drowning
It's your turn, bro: Shoot a short video to help end gender-based violence
Painful periods: A persistent taboo that leads some women to lie
Milestone moment for women in health
StarSilver: Grit and grace of older women
Stopping the shame around period starts with the family
Starchild: Why Malaysian kids think the world of their teachers
Starchild: Why Malaysian children think the world of their mothers
Abuse is not just physical; harsh words and silence hurt just as much
Blood test after miscarriage can explain why some women experience it

Others Also Read