IPOH: As Syawal approaches, what was once a lively home filled with twinkling lights, children’s laughter and the aroma of festive dishes now feels painfully quiet for Nur Aini Samiun.
The 45-year-old is facing her first Aidilfitri without her husband, Sarjan Mohd Roslan Abd Rahim, who was among nine Federal Reserve Unit (FRU) personnel killed in a tragic road accident on May 13 last year.
The incident, which occurred along Jalan Chikus-Sungai Lampam near Teluk Intan, claimed the lives of the FRU Unit 5 members from Sungai Senam, Ipoh, after their vehicle was struck by a lorry carrying gravel.
For Nur Aini, the loss has left a void that is deeply felt, not only by her but also by their three children: Muhd Raqin Najmi, 14, Muhd Rizqi Nazhan, 10, and Nur Aqeela Rawida, seven.
“For the children, Raya is still Raya. I carry on as usual, nothing less... but deep down, it no longer feels the same.
“I don’t feel like celebrating this year. It’s very different... there is definitely something missing,” she said when interviewed by Bernama at her home in Taman Kinding Jaya here.
Reflecting on their 15 years of marriage, Nur Aini said she was usually the “main planner” for the festive season, from buying clothes to preparing the house, while her husband would assist wherever needed.
“Now, everything feels heavier because I have to do it all alone. Sometimes, my youngest says, ‘If our father were here, our mother wouldn’t have to do everything.’ Those words really stay with me,” she said.
She added that her youngest child often asks difficult questions she struggles to answer.
“She keeps asking, ‘Why did the lorry hit my father?’. I don’t know how to answer that... but I try my best to make sure they don’t remain lost in sadness,” she said.
To keep her husband’s memory alive, Nur Aini makes it a point to share stories about him with their children and regularly visits his grave.
“Every day I tell them about their father... what kind of person he was and what he used to do. I don’t want them to forget.
“I visit his grave every week, usually on Mondays after sending the children to school. I take some time to ‘see’ him,” she said.
Despite it being nearly 10 months since his passing, she admitted she has yet to dream of her late husband, something that continues to weigh on her heart.
Still, as Aidilfitri draws near, Nur Aini remains determined to ensure her children experience the joy of the celebration.
Though her excitement has faded, her strength lies in keeping the spirit of Raya alive for the three “jewels” of her heart, even in the absence of the man who once made it whole.
