The terror of abuse, the tragedy of reporting it

PETALING JAYA: Many cases of domestic violence continue to go unreported because victims tend to fear repercussions and also due to the lack of community support, says a criminologist.

Universiti Utara Malaysia’s Centre for Applied Psychology, Policy and Social Work criminologist Dr Zalmizy Hussin believes the reported cases are merely the tip of the iceberg.

“The perpetrators might have threatened to beat or kill those who report him or her, so that is why many are scared to report their abusive family members.

“There is also a lack of awareness on the need to report cases that are happening in the community, particularly because we have this idea that we should not bother about someone else’s problem.

“There aren’t enough programmes on crime prevention among the community to create awareness of the need to protect and help one another,” he said.

Zalmizy said it was important to recognise some of the early signs that could lead to individual aggression.

“Normally, they tend to release their anger at other people, so they will curse and swear – all these are signs that they are emotionally unstable, and if left unhandled, this could lead them to become more verbally and physically aggressive in their behaviour.

“Parents and siblings should always be mindful if their family members show signs of depression – if they sleep all day long, refuse to talk or are unable to tidy themselves; these are also some of the early signs.

“When this happens, other family members could attempt to discuss or have a heart-to-heart conversation to learn more about what is happening,” he suggested.

Zalmizy also stressed that it was crucial to lodge a police report whenever an individual resorted to threats or any other criminal action.

“It is best to report to the police because we fear that this person may harm not only their family members, but also others in the community ... as they may resort to stealing to get the money to buy drugs.

“If the person has mental issues, they should see a counsellor,” he said.

He added that religion could also help aggressive people control their behaviour.

“We have seen that the use of religion has proven to help prisoners control their anger and stress,” Zalmizy added.

Segi University psychologist Prof Datin Dr Mariani Mohd Nor said children often assume that their parents would always oblige them no matter what.

As such, they would often approach their parents for money.

“Normally, they target their parents because they know that parents will always do their best for them.

“But when the parents know that their children are involved in immoral activities, they would not want to give in.

“So when their request is turned down, and perhaps the parents also use some provocative words, these offspring – who could be under the influence of drugs – will react aggressively, and in worse situations, they might even kill their parents,” she said.

Apart from physical abuse, Prof Mariani said some parents were also being emotionally and mentally abused.

She also warned that some elderly parents who felt slighted by their adult children might fall into depression.

“And unwilling parents being forced into old folks’ home is also considered abuse,” Prof Mariani added.