THE 26-year-old auditor knew he was mentally affected when he could not perform up to the expectations of his bosses and his parents.
“I am stressed all the time, having depression, I have lost interest in everything,”
“Honestly, I don’t know, all these problems you’ve never admit, family, relationships and work.
“It is still going on after like more than a year, maybe it has improved a bit but it is still there,” he said referring to his depression that is not diagnosed or treated.
“I don’t feel happy doing the things I used to like to do,” Irvin (not his real name) said.
He added that gaming and other social activities felt like a filler as distraction or just entertainment.
He did not tell his parents, he said his parents would not understand.
“I don’t plan to because they would not understand why are we having so much stress, they would say we don’t have that many responsibilities, they will compare themselves to us and they will say they are more stressed than us.
“They wouldn’t understand the stress we are going through,” he said.
He kept it personal without mentioning it to his friends as well.
Irvin tried to cope the stress by sleeping it off, but it never healed.
“It’s just so difficult till I can’t sleep well, it wasn’t like this before, I guess it’s from the stress and depression.
“I tried jogging, running and yeah, my mind is in overdrive 24/7, I find no rest,” Irvin said.
Asked if he plans to seek counselling, he said there’s a possibility.
“I have thought about going to psychologists, but also I think maybe this kind of problems I can solve this myself.
“Maybe I will go for a free of charge counselling session, maybe not,” he said.
Irvin managed through the days with temporary relief and asked in five years time where does he see himself he said, no where.
“I’m feeling really depressed right now. I don’t know where I am heading I don’t even know what I want, trying to solve the problems right now,”
“I like to add, because I am always trying to live up to someone’s expectation, like my dad, or my boss, or anyone actually that expects something of you, it gives a lot of stress,” he said.
“When your boss expects you to perform, but you can’t, you basically will hate yourself.
“My only encouragement is don’t be like me, go out and talk to your friends, find a purpose,” Irvin said. – By ADELINE GOOI
