The bite is bitter for sugar babies

PETALING JAYA: He was a generous man who spoiled her and showered her with expensive gifts.

But the sweet romance ended bitterly – with Lydia (not her real name) spiralling into drug abuse, depression and a distrust of older men.

Lydia, who met her sugar daddy when she was in her 20s, was introduced to drugs by the man and became dependent on them. She was forced to join group sex and other abnormal sexual acts while intoxicated.

It was tough, but Lydia managed to get out of the relationship, recover from depression and is now married with two children.

Until today, she still has issues with intimacy.

Lydia, who wanted her story told, was treated by Malaysian Mental Health Association deputy president Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj for her deep emotional scars.

Although sugar relationships appear to be a harmless commercial win-win situation, sugar babies can be psychologically damaged in the long run, Dr Mohanraj said.

“Sugar babies usually hook up with people beyond their age group. Therefore, they are prone to be shaped by dating experiences that are not natural at an age where they are discovering themselves.

“Eventually, sugar babies will see older men and fathers in general as exploitative individuals.

“Even when they grow out of being a sugar baby, they may pass this perception on to others including their children,” said the consultant psychiatrist.

While it’s consensual, Dr Mohanraj said that in most cases, it is exploitative, adding that it is “naive” to think that “sugar babies” will not be affected psychologically by their experience.

“This is nothing but prostitution and pimping in a more polished form – it is a simple money-for-sex or companionship arrangement.

“Although they are above 18 and are of a legal age, these young adults are still discovering themselves and others in order to establish a mutually respectful permanent relationship.

“Even if they are paid well, it will still have a negative psychological effect in terms of how they view relationships with the opposite sex,” he said.

Calling the high number of users on sugar dating platforms “alarming”, Dr Mohanraj said that if this continues, sugar relationships could lead to an array of problems in society.

“For one, both service providers and users are going to trivialise sex and not look at it as part of a mature respectful relationship.

“From a public health perspective, it can lead to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and even drug abuse and alcoholism which are sometimes part of the hedonistic sugar world,” he said.

Dr Mohanraj added that sugar babies, especially if they are younger, may continue to distrust older men and diminish the institution of fatherhood.