Are you a good listener?

Listening to a colleague talk about his work stress may not be as easy as you think.

Here are some tips.

If your co-worker just needs to vent, then you should listen attentively. Ask if he wants advice before giving any.

“Refrain from assuming, jumping to conclusions, imposing your own values to the extent that your co-worker has no chance to express himself,” warns clinical psychologist Goh Lei Kheng.

Don’t judge or be dismissive or trivialise what he is feeling.

“Emotionally invalidating responses deny others of their feelings and can create a sense of rejection and isolation to someone who is already feeling unbearable stress,” says Goh.

Ask how you can help, identify how he feels and reflect it to him.

Help him to calm down.

“This response can reassure the person that it is okay to feel the way he does,” says Goh.

Clarify your own limits by telling him what you can and cannot do to help. ­— Eric Ian Chan