Forgotten and forlorn

A hand to hold: Murugaiyah talking to a resident at the Johor Baru Handicapped and Mentally Disabled Children Association in Kulai, Johor. — THOMAS YONG/The Star

SEVEN years ago, Intan’s* parents sent her to a charity home in Kulai, Johor, to receive the best care as they could no longer provide for their daughter who has a learning disability.

She was only 10 years old.

For the first few years, her parents visited from time to time but after they died, no other family member has paid her a visit.

Intan is one of about 300 residents at Johor Baru Handicapped and Mentally Disabled Children Association’s home.

Like Intan, many there have been waiting to see their family members.

Association president S. Murugaiyah said about 30% of the residents here no longer had contact with their family members.

ALSO READ: ‘Important for residents to know there are people who still care’

“In most cases, they were sent here by their parents as children and after their parents passed away, no one comes to visit them.

“In Intan’s case, her parents died years ago. She has siblings but we have not been able to get in touch with them.

“It has been years since she has seen a family member.

“Although she cannot really express her feelings, we know that she misses her family,” Murugaiyah told StarMetro when met at the charity home.

Similarly, Anpalagan* was sent to the charity home by his mother and sister when he was about 11.

“He was sent here about 32 years ago.

“For the first couple of years, his family came to visit him but later, they went silent.

“We were unable to get in touch with his siblings despite numerous attempts.

“However, we received an unexpected phone call recently from his brother who said he would come for a visit.

“He has not visited yet.

“We hope that he will visit soon as it has been years since Anpalagan received any visitors,” said Murugaiyah.

Ah Choon*, 72, who has Parkinson’s disease, has also been pining for his family. He last saw them about 30 years ago.

“He was in his late 30s when his siblings sent him here.

“We know that he has at least four sisters who were working in Singapore and have probably retired now.

“But we cannot get in touch with them and are unsure if they are still in Singapore or have returned to Malaysia,” said Murugaiyah.

He stressed that it was important for family members of the residents to remain in contact with the charity home.

“It is heartbreaking to see our residents waiting for their family to visit, especially during the festive season.

“Although they all have disabilities and may not be able to express their feelings, we can feel that they miss their family.

“On top of that, losing touch with family members can complicate matters when it comes to getting residents their MyKad.

“Some were sent here as children and when they reach the age of 12, we need family members to facilitate the process of obtaining an identity card,” he said.

The identity card also helps to keep medical costs in check for the charity home.

It often has to pay more for residents who have yet to get a MyKad.

“We eventually get it sorted out with assistance from the National Registration Department but it usually takes longer.

“In the meantime, we will need to bear higher medical bills when residents go to government hospitals for check-ups,” he added.

Murugaiyah noted that there were also several cases where family members could not be reached at all, even when the individual passed away.

“It is very sad to send them off without any of their family around for the funeral.

“It also makes it difficult for us to carry out the funeral arrangements.

“We need to wait for the police to conduct an investigation and find the next of kin before we can proceed.

“While waiting, the body will be kept in a hospital morgue,” he explained.

Meanwhile, Johor Disabled Children Charitable and Cares Organisation founder and president Mohd Yahya Haidrus said it was rare for the organisation to lose contact with residents’ family members.

“We have maybe only one or two cases and usually, it is because their parents have passed away.

“However, some residents rarely see their family members and sometimes wait for years to see their parents,” he said.

Mohd Yahya said that while family members would leave their contact information with the home, they were not obligated to stay in touch.

“We cannot force a resident’s family to come visit.

“They may have their reasons for staying away but it is truly sad to see a resident waiting for their loved ones.

“Some of them sometimes ask us when their family will come and we can only say ‘soon’,” he said.

He hopes that families will at least make time to visit during festive seasons.

“It will be good if they can bring their children home for a couple of days during the festive period.

“If not, maybe just come and visit for a few hours.

“It will really make a huge difference and surely cheer them up,” he added.

Mohd Yahya welcomes the public to visit the charity home when they have the time, to cheer the residents up, especially during festive seasons.

“Recently, we were visited by individuals and groups who wanted to donate and spread cheer.

“We strongly encourage such visits.

“At least the residents here can feel the festive atmosphere,” he said, adding that there were about 20 residents at the home.

Pandan Old Folks Home supervisor Lee Chuang Swee said that all 16 of its residents were still in contact with their family members, but he encouraged the public to visit too.

“Most of the residents here are at least 80 years old and do not have any children.

“However, they have relatives or siblings who will visit them from time to time.

“Still, we encourage well-wishers to come by when they are free, to spend some time with the residents,” he said.

Lee is grateful that many people have visited the home during Chinese New Year, with some bringing their children along.

“It is always nice for us to get such visits.

“There are also families who will celebrate their children’s birthday with the senior citizens here and we really appreciate it,” he said.

* Full names have been omitted to protect the privacy of the welfare home’s residents.