Intimate destination weddings are small affairs that create big memories

Cheong and Tan’s mountaintop wedding in New Zealand was an intimate affair with less than 20 guests. — STEPHEN YAU

Small weddings, big memories. That is the goal for most, if not all, couples who opt to have intimate destination weddings.

The intimacy of smaller-scale nuptial events, paired with the exotic beauty of the destinations serving as wedding venues, may well leave a lasting impression not just on the couples tying the knot but everyone in attendance as well.

Imagine witnessing the majestic mountains of New Zealand looming into view below you, on your helicopter ride to the mountaintop lodge where you are about to say “I do” to your significant other.

Along for the ride (not all in one helicopter, though) are a dozen or so of your closest friends and family members.

Elaine Tan Shi En didn’t have to use her imagination for all this, however, as she was the blushing bride living her dream come true.

“We chose New Zealand because I’d been there once and fell in love with the place,” she said, adding that it doubled as the perfect chance to introduce the beautiful place to her partner and their family members.

“I remembered how beautiful the scenery and weather were. Plus, I thought it would be nice to book a huge Airbnb for all of us to stay together.”

So, along with just 18 guests, Tan and Cheong Guo Unn flew from Malaysia to New Zealand to hold their beautiful wedding.

(Wedding) bells and whistles

Once there, they switched from plane to helicopter to reach their chosen wedding venue. “It was the best decision ever!” Tan said of the aviation decision. The transportation choice to their mountaintop venue in Queenstown was either a one-hour car ride or the helicopter ride, which was shorter (and admittedly, cooler).

“So, we chose the helicopter ride going up and the car ride going down.”

The Malaysian couple, both 32, had originally wanted to hold their wedding in Kuala Lumpur. Regardless of the location, it being a grandiose event was never a pre-requisite, as both of them have always preferred smaller, intimate weddings.

After realising that the cost of holding a wedding at a bungalow in KL would not have differed much from holding one somewhere abroad, they opted for the latter.

“We felt that for the price it would cost us, it would be more worth it to have an intimate destination wedding that would be more memorable, where we get to also spend time with our close friends and family – like having a holiday and honeymoon trip in one,” Tan said.

The couple’s wedding illustrated that sometimes there is no need for all the bells and whistles. Aside from the thrilling chopper experience, they did not follow the usual destination wedding act of pre-arranging activities to keep their guests entertained and occupied, because what matters the most is really just spending time together.

“We didn’t really have anything planned because we arrived in New Zealand just two days before the wedding, so we just mostly rested and explored Queenstown together.”

After the reception, they then did “all the touristy things”, like skydiving and joining a cruise.

They also chose to not hold the Chinese wedding tradition of gatecrashing, which involves a series of games played by the groom before he would finally be allowed to be with his bride.

Manullang (left) and Cheng chose Bali for their destination wedding. — STEPHEN YAU

On the other hand, fellow Malaysian Jenny Cheng, 31, included this tradition when she had her wedding in Bali, Indonesia. This, along with the tea ceremony between her and her husband’s (Hendrick Manullang) families, was a nod to Ipoh-born Cheng’s Chinese heritage.

However, they were unable to include activities related to Manullang’s Batak heritage. He explained, “A lot of Batak traditions are logistically a bit harder to do, as it would involve traditional costumes and dances and such.”

Hailing from Jakarta, Manullang, 35, met Cheng in Melbourne, Australia where they both studied and later met at work. “We decided on a destination wedding since we are a blend of two cultures.

“Instead of having two large weddings in different cities and countries, we decided on a single intimate affair where both sides could attend at the same time,” he said.

The couple did consider other locations, including Melbourne, where they are currently based. “But ultimately, Bali was the preferred choice,” Manullang said.

Cheng explained: “Logistically, it was a local destination for his side of the family and also very accessible for my side of the family. We would also not have any issues with visas for our guests.”

Planning a wedding

With a budget of around RM150,000 and an attendance of 70 guests, the planning for Manullang and Cheng’s overseas nuptial was made easier with the help of a wedding planner.

“Given the fact that Bali already has an established wedding industry that caters to all ranges of budgets and styles, I found the process very smooth,” said Cheng.

“Our wedding planner came with the venue and I felt supported throughout the process. We also engaged with as many local vendors as possible, so it wasn’t as hard to manage since everything was communicated via WhatsApp.”

Despite the sudden rain on their big day, the couple was ecstatic to have held their wedding on the scenic Indonesian island that’s popular among vacationers. “Our guests enjoyed themselves and treated it like a holiday,” shared Cheng.

Fellow Malaysians who wish to have a holiday-like wedding on a beautiful island but much closer to home, our country does have a popular place that attracts even couples from across the world: Langkawi.

Yes, this still counts as a destination wedding for Malaysians; it doesn’t necessarily need to be held in another country, it just has to be a location that is not where either bride or groom is from, or based in.

Almaktoum (left) and Sargeant had their dream beachfront wedding in Langkawi. — The Langkawi Photographer

So, if you’re not a “Langkawian”, the island beckons. The Jewel Of Kedah was the destination of choice for Mark Sargeant, 32, who originally hails from KL, and Ejlal Almaktoum, 31, from the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia.

“We met during the pandemic in Singapore, and we’re now living and working in Los Angeles in the US,” said Ejlal.

Their current address is too far to reach for most of their guests (not to mention all the visa headaches), so while they did consider holding it in the US and even Australia initially, it was Langkawi that won their hearts in the end.

“We wanted something more convenient for our family and friends based in KL, Singapore, and Australia. Langkawi was perfect. It offered a beautiful, luxurious setting while being close to the majority of our guests,” Ejlal explained.

“It felt more intimate and suited our vision better,” she added, saying that they wanted a beachfront ceremony at sunset.

The couple also made sure to include personal touches, like local Malaysian elements in the decor and food. “We had a pandan-flavoured wedding cake!”

Their party of 50 congregated at The Datai, where the couple greeted their guests with welcome drinks the night before the wedding. She mentioned that for many of the guests, it was their first time visiting Langkawi and “they were blown away by the entire experience”.

Thanks to digital connectivity, the couple was able to plan everything online, and it was a smooth process with the help of a wedding planner called Petik Bunga, whom they landed on after interviewing a few local wedding planners.

“The planner stood out right from the start – very organised, with in-depth knowledge about Langkawi and how to make the most of the location,” Ejlal said, singing her praises.

Of course, the couple did not completely leave everything to the planner. Ejlal shared that Sargeant was involved in handling logistics and organising their guests, while she herself focused more on the creative side.

“Our close family members also helped by providing ideas and advice throughout the process,” she said.

Working on a budget of US$40,000 (approximately RM179,000), the couple managed to stay within the range and even covered accommodations for their immediate family and bridal party, while other guests handled their own expenses.

Meanwhile, the planning stage went a little differently for Tan and Cheong’s mountaintop wedding. “We didn’t have any wedding planner,” Tan laughingly admitted. “So everything was chaotic, but it was a beautiful one still because it felt so raw.”

They simply engaged with the person in charge of their chosen location, The Moonlight Lodge, and paid a little extra to hold their wedding there.

Live, laugh, love

Handling everything themselves was a challenge, Tan admitted, especially when it came to sourcing and bringing the things that they wanted.

“We wanted instant noodles as our supper for the after-party, but we needed to bring those from Malaysia,” Tan shared an example.

Then there was the fact that they had to bring their own decorations too, but there was a weight limit involved since they were flying in with a helicopter and staying overnight at the lodge.

The former makeup artist was also glad that she could do her own hair and makeup and didn’t need to fly in yet another person for that purpose, because that would’ve added to the cost.

However, this was all worth the effort when the couple saw the smiles on their guests’ faces. “I will never forget their smiles and happiness,” Tan said. “The night was full of laughter.”

If there was one thing she wished she would have done instead if she were to relive the trip, it was to have more time at the lodge, just so she could enjoy the panoramic views of the mountains a little longer.

Ejlal shared a similar wish. “We loved how everything turned out, but if we could change one thing, it would be starting the planning process a bit earlier to give ourselves more time to focus on the finer details.”

She advised other couples to do their research and to “find a local wedding planner who knows the area well”.

“Be prepared for things not to go perfectly, but embrace the experience. Also, make sure to split the responsibilities between you and your partner to reduce stress, and enjoy the process,” said Ejlal.

As for Tan, her advice is to “not think about the ang pows”. She and her husband just wanted everyone to have a good time with them, so they did not accept any red packet from any of their guests.

“Be careful of hidden costs, because there might be a lot of things that are overlooked and you can’t go back to Malaysia to get it sorted,” she cautioned with a laugh.

Manullang’s advice parallels this: “Destination weddings are not going to be affordable, and logistically there is some additional planning involved. But it can very well be worth it if you and your partner value an intimate and personal experience for your wedding.”

In regard to things that Manullang and Cheng would want to change if they could relive their magical day in Bali, Cheng joked, “Maybe not pick a rainy day?”

“Honestly, I would not change a thing as we had a lot of fun in the end,” she continued. “One special thing about a destination wedding is it teaches us to live in the moment.”