If you're busy on Valentine's Day, there's no requirement that you celebrate your relationship on Feb 14. Photo: TNS/Dreamstime
Dear Anna,
I'm a florist, and every Valentine's Day I help hundreds of people celebrate their love while working 16-hour days. This year, for the first time, I'm actually in a relationship, but I'll be too exhausted to celebrate. My boyfriend is understanding but disappointed. How do I make Feb. 14 special when I'll be covered in rose thorns and dead on my feet? – Looking Under Valentines, Seeking UneXpected
Dear LUVSUX,
There's a beautiful irony in being too busy spreading romance to celebrate your own, isn’t there? And while you have perfectly valid reasons for thinking this particular holiday “sux”, I hope you know it’s not in fact love that’s to blame but the commodification of it, and the very narrow idea that we should celebrate it on one particular day in one particular style (a la with lavish gifts, flowers, dates, etc).
But here's the thing about love: It doesn't need to happen on Feb 14. In fact, some might argue that the most genuine expressions of love happen on random Tuesdays when you oversleep and miss your bus so your partner offers to drive you so you’ll make it to work on time. Or when someone you love is in the hospital and you’re starving and your partner buys you a Snickers from the vending machine to tide you over. Or when you agree to do absolutely nothing on Feb 14 because you work in the service industry and understand it’s a crap day for celebrating.
And so on.
Since you'll be Cupid's personal assistant on V-Day proper, here are some ways to make your own celebration bloom (sorry):
Embrace the "Valentine's Day Adjacent" celebration. Pick a different day! Feb 15 works just fine – or any date that works with your schedule. The 15th has a particular charm, as you can celebrate with all those lovely flowers that didn't find homes (and hey, they're already paid for!). Plus, you won’t have to worry that every restaurant in town is booked.
Some other ideas for your situation:
If your partner is the one who’s gung-ho about V-Day, then explicitly put him in charge of planning the thing. Tell him he has complete creative control. For the overworked, is there a more romantic sentence in the history of ever than “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”? I think not.
Plan a late-night flower shop date. Have your partner bring you takeout during your prep night, making sure you’re nourished, enjoy a little company, and have a nice distraction from the impending stress.
Schedule a "Recovery Romance" date for the following day or week. Start with a long sleep-in, followed by a couple's massage (you'll need it after all that standing), and, if you’re up for it, a simple breakfast or a meal out where someone else does the work and cleanup.
Remember, you're in a unique position to understand something most people forget: Love isn't about one mythical “perfect” experience – it's about the small moments in between all the hullabaloo. You probably see it every day in your shop: The "just because" bouquets often mean more than the obligatory dozen red roses. – Anna Pulley/Tribune News Service
Anna Pulley is a syndicated Tribune Content Agency columnist answering reader questions about love, sex and dating.
