Tips on how to keep those New Year resolutions

Often, our New Year resolutions are too vague and require a large change in our lifestyles, which we are unprepared for. — 123rf.com

Every New Year’s Eve, Malaysians enthusiastically make resolutions for the upcoming year, whether it is to lose weight, quit smoking or learn a new skill, among others.

However, the sad reality is that a significant number of these resolutions end up abandoned and forgotten by the time February comes by.

The doomsayers may argue that the perennially popular resolutions – i.e. saving more money and losing weight – are too acquisitive, training our envious attentions on the wealth of others or in obedience to a culture that imposes unrealistic beauty standards.

In both cases, we are doomed to fail, they would say, so why bother with resolutions?

Others might argue that it would be unfair to dismiss resolutions as merely the trappings of a New Year holiday.

Historically, people have made New Year’s resolutions in one form or another, ranging from swearing less to having a more cheerful disposition or recommitting to religion.

Setting up to fail

Those of us who are accustomed to making resolutions – and breaking them – know that resolutions can create an internal struggle between what we think we should do and what we really want to do.

We may have painfully realised that optimism alone will not result in the change we want.

The reality is there are several things about the way we make New Year’s resolutions that set us up for failure before we even start.

Often, there is this idea that it is supposed to be some big, sweeping change, because that sounds appealing.

However, as humans, we are not wired to make big, sweeping changes.

Therefore, one of the primary reasons New Year’s resolutions fail is the tendency to set unrealistic goals.

Ambitious aspirations are admirable, but setting objectives that are too farfetched can lead to frustration and disappointment.

Many people make the mistake of declaring their resolutions without a clear plan of action.

Failing to outline the steps needed to achieve a goal can make the entire process overwhelming.

While sharing resolutions with friends or family can provide a support system, the absence of true accountability often contributes to failure.

The all-or-nothing mentality is a common pitfall that leads to New Year’s resolutions falling by the wayside.

If we experience a setback or temporary failure, we tend to become discouraged and abandon our resolutions altogether.

External pressures, such as societal expectations or peer influence, often drive New Year’s resolutions.

When the motivation comes from external sources rather than a genuine desire for personal growth, we are more likely to lose interest.

Life is unpredictable, and unforeseen challenges can disrupt even the most well-intentioned resolutions.

When we fail to adapt our plans in response to changing circumstances, we may find ourselves overwhelmed and unable to recover.

Being ready for change

Another reason we are unable to commit to our New Year’s resolutions in the long term is that we are not ready to change.

Generally, we go through several stages called the “process of change” before we are psychologically ready to change.

First, there is the “precontemplation” stage when we start to become aware that there may be something to change in our lives.

We then move on to thinking about making a change.

This is called the “contemplation” stage.

Then we go on to the “preparation” stage where we start putting a plan together to make that change.

Subsequently, in the “action” stage, we actually try to make that change.

Finally, at the “maintenance” stage, we determine how to maintain the change.

Those who stick with their New Year’s resolutions are likely at the “action” stage when they make their resolution, while those who fail are not.

This indicates that people who make New Year’s resolutions on a whim are unlikely to succeed.

Instead, a certain amount of thought, together with psychological, and possibly, physical preparation and planning, must go into a New Year’s resolution in order to sustain it.

Keys to success

Instead of aiming for drastic, overnight changes, we should consider setting smaller, achievable milestones that contribute to our larger goals.

Keeping goals simple and attainable makes the resolution more achievable.

To make realistic resolutions is also to make the goals very specific.

This may mean planning to achieve specific targets that are practical and doable, and not just having a vision.

For example, not just saying, “In the new year, I want to practice a healthy lifestyle“, but getting specific with an exercise regime or dietary planning with a specific goal to be achieved.

Successful resolutions require careful planning, breaking down larger goals into manageable tasks, and creating a realistic timeline for accomplishment.

This may involve actually writing out a plan and a way to track progress.

For resolutions to succeed, there also needs to be some flexibility, e.g. a “cheat day” in an exercise or diet regime where one can reward oneself.

It is crucial to establish a system of checks and balances, whether through a mentor, friend or an accountability partner, to help us stay on track and motivated.

If we want to stick to our new resolutions, the surest way is to make it known to our family and friends.

That way we will try to follow through with our plans as much as possible, since our resolution is open to observation by others.

Embracing the concept of progress over perfection and learning from setbacks can help individuals stay resilient and committed to their goals, as opposed to applying the all-or-nothing principle.

Finding intrinsic motivation – i.e. reasons that are personally meaningful and aligned with our values – can significantly enhance the likelihood of success.

Flexibility and the ability to adjust goals as needed are essential components of successful resolution achievement.

Most importantly, underlying any resolution should be a strong commitment to make a change, even if that change is a small one.

You can do it!

So, fear not, there is hope.

While New Year’s resolutions have a notorious reputation for failure, understanding the common pitfalls and adopting a strategic approach can significantly improve the odds of success.

By setting realistic goals, planning effectively, cultivating accountability, finding intrinsic motivation and staying adaptable, individuals can transform their resolutions from fleeting promises into meaningful and lasting achievements.

As we embark on a new year, let us not only set resolutions, but also commit to the journey of personal growth with determination and resilience.

We must not fall into the trap of pushing ourselves too hard or too fast to fulfil targets in New Year resolutions.

Even if we stumble, we should not be overly worried as that is part of the process too.

We learn infinitely more from our failures than we do from our successes.

Prof Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj is a consultant psychiatrist, the Malaysian Mental Health Association president and Taylor’s University Impact Lab on Mental Health & Wellbeing director. For more information, email [e-mail]. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.