At the time of writing, I am in the midst of my final preparations for haj.
I am feeling emotional, overwhelmed and nervous; unsure of what to expect as I join three million Muslims on the pilgrimage.
The obligation for Muslims to perform haj at least once in their lifetime if they are able to, has been described as “the largest and longest-standing mass gathering event on Earth”.
It is a spiritual experience to help connect our physical self to our spiritual self, as Muslims embark on a pilgrimage of unity, strength, obedience and patience against all odds.
Getting into the right mindset for haj has been nothing short of a reflection of my own mental health, the advocacy of my organisation the Green Ribbon Group (GRG), and Malaysia’s progress in pushing the mental health agenda forward.
It has brought me back to thinking about matters of the mind, as per the name of this column that I have had the privilege of contributing to over the past few years.
At GRG, our mantra is empowerment – for those who have worked tirelessly to help improve mental healthcare here at home, for those who advocate to break the stigma, for those who are suffering in silence, for those who are carers and for those who would like to reach out to someone dear but are unsure how.
To me, the very definition of mental health is well-being – our psychological, emotional and social well-being that affects how we think, feel and act.
But someone once taught me to think of mental health as a spectrum between mental health, mental health problems and mental illness.
We all fluctuate between mental health – or feeling mentally healthy – to experiencing mental health problems, which may or may not escalate to mental illness, depending on how we manage these fluctuations.
GRG prides itself on its work to help and support those at the initial stages of the spectrum, which is the fluctuation from a state of well-being (mental health) to emotional disturbances (mental health problems) that may prevent us from functioning optimally as we otherwise would.
My preparation for haj has shed more light on the importance of empowerment in managing this fluctuation, and its usefulness as a tool to help us be stronger, more confident and in control of our lives.
To feel is to be human
I have always been hesitant to talk about mental health and religion.
I am a proud Muslim, but I also understand that not everyone is able to seek and find comfort in religious teachings.
For instance, it may be easier for some of our hearts to be more engaged when finding solace in the Al-Quran.
For others, simply being told to pray more to lessen our sorrows may not be sufficient because our pain may be too deep.
Nonetheless, I do believe there are universal lessons in Islam (and in all religions at that), which can help us empower ourselves and be in control of our mental health.
As a Muslim, I can share that Islam is a religion of hope.
Our daily acts of worship like performing wudhu’ (ablution) and praying are stabilisers of the heart because we are taught that God will test us.
Negative emotions like stress, anxiety, worry and grief are part and parcel of our hearts.
We are born with the ability to feel. Indeed, to feel is what makes us human.
We may feel helpless, but never hopeless, because of our iman (faith) in the Highest of all.
The Al-Quran teaches us how to build our taqwa (God consciousness), and how to respond to trials and tribulations.
One such response is to focus on the “we”.
Islam is essentially a “we” religion because it is about the community.
Just as we need the love and support of those around us, we too need to provide that for them.
For those who have invested their time, efforts and emotions in picking us up, we too must make the same investment for others.
It is a domino effect that must continue.
Empowering oneself
Empowerment, both in the self and communal sense, is evident in Islam.
There are lessons to heed in the management of one’s mental health.
The lead up to haj has given me the opportunity to put together a framework for self- empowerment.
I would like to share this to help people manage their fluctuations from feeling mentally healthy to feeling emotionally disturbed.
The five stages of the framework are as follows:
Setbacks can be opportunities for us to cool down and rise again.
This doesn’t mean that we suppress our negative emotions.
On the contrary, it means we accept what we are feeling in that given moment.
And we do so with conviction that better days are ahead because “surely with hardship comes ease” (Al-Quran, 94:5).
From God if that applies in your religion. From those we have wronged. From ourselves.
But most of all, we forgive in order to let go.
It is a reset of the heart, and thus, the mind.
If patience is the means for us to accept our negative emotions, forgiveness is the means of releasing ourselves from negativity.
In the words of the second Rashidun caliph Umar ibn Al-Khattab, no amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future.
As someone who experiences anxiety, I admit I find it difficult to control or manage my anxious thoughts.
I try my best, but alas, I cannot run away from anxiety.
I know it will always be a part of me, and I must learn to live with it and manage, just as someone who is asthmatic must manage their asthma, or someone with lupus must manage their relapse.
Focusing on today helps us to feel grateful for what we have and be mindful of the present.
If we live in the moment, we are able to better motivate ourselves to jog onwards and upwards.
Picking ourselves up becomes easier bit by bit, slowly but surely.
Our syukur (gratitude) is our fuel to keep moving.
GRG has been my vehicle to advocate that mental health is the responsibility of all.
Every single one of us has a role to play in pushing the mental health agenda forward.
A deeper understanding of this responsibility is to realise that helping others ultimately helps us to regulate our own emotions.
GRG has focused on community support to help people manage their emotional fluctuations.
Our message has essentially been focused on raising awareness in order to increase mental health literacy and boost peer support.
The five stages of self-empowerment are simply a reminder of the inner work that we are all capable of, so that we can become a source of strength for ourselves and those around us.
Life’s tribulations are cyclical – guaranteed.
Challenges will come, and we must be able to meet constant challenges.
Preparing myself for haj has made me realise how faith can help to strengthen the heart, which affects the mind greatly.
At the time of publication, it would be a few days since haj has passed.
Selamat pulang (welcome home) to those who have returned.
May your haj be mabrur, accepted by Allah SWT.
Tengku Puteri Iman Afzan Al-Sultan Abdullah is the GRG president. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
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