What you need to teach your teens before they go to college

Encourage your teen to communicate openly so he knows he can always turn to you for advice. — AFP

Heading off to college is an exciting milestone for teenagers.

But leaving behind the routine of school and the comfort of living with parents can also be overwhelming.

Parents, you may find it difficult to let go of your children after years of taking care of them.

But the time will come when your child is ready to head off to college, and because it’s such a big step, preparation is key for both you and your teen.

Why is it so nerve-racking?

For many teens, this will be a series of “firsts” – the first time they are living on their own, manage their own budget, set their own schedules and possibly even live in a new city.

Former school structures that teens are used to are no longer in place, and they will have to make new friends.

This can be a very daunting prospect.

College will also present new academic pressures and social problems.

Common issues include trouble managing assignments, projects, presentations and exams, anxiety about meeting family expectations, having low self-esteem, peer group pressure, homesickness that can lead to loneliness and depression, as well as procrastination and poor time management.

Parents can assist their teenagers by encouraging them to start preparing well ahead of the college year.

> Starting out

Today, there is an overwhelming number of choices when it comes to career and course options.

Your teen may need your help with his college applications and in choosing his path.

Try making a list of all the child’s skills and strengths and explore his interests and passions.

If he has to fill out forms or write entrance essays, be sure to lend him support if needed.

You can also help to connect him with seniors who can assist him with practical matters at college.

> Accommodation

Talk to your teen about where he would be most comfortable living while he is in college.

Should he move out of home and into a dorm, hostel or a shared home?

If he has to move to another state, what would be his best options for accommodation?

> Basic life skills

Most children have their laundry done for them at home and take this chore for granted so show them how to do it to ease their transition into college life. — Pexels

You might also want to start coaching him on simple life skills, such as cooking, laundry, ironing and sewing.

Many children may not realise how much effort goes into handling these daily chores, so it is best to give them a heads-up before they leave home.

> Money matters

Mentor your child early when it comes to managing money.

If he doesn’t have a bank account yet, help him to open an account, get an ATM card and set up online banking.

Show him how to use these tools properly, safely and responsibly.

It is also good to let your child know how much college fees will amount to and how much allowance you will be able to support him with.

> Open communication

Encourage open channels of communication, so your teen can always turn to you if he needs advice.

Advise your teenager about making good decisions and avoiding high risk behaviours, e.g. substance abuse.

Remind him to choose the right group of friends – having a good support system can either make or break him later on.

But avoid dictating too much, since this is the best time to foster independence in your teen.

> Goals and balance

Talk to him also about setting goals.

Set a reasonable target of academic achievement without imposing undue pressure.

Advise him on how to balance his studies and extra-curricular activities, as well as part-time work, if that is something he would like to consider doing.

> Health and wellness

Don’t forget that physical and mental health should also be a priority.

It would be a good idea to identify all your teens’ allergies and have the appropriate medication for him to take along, if he is leaving home.

It would be helpful also to identify a good clinic nearby his college or numbers to call in case of emergency.

In addition, make sure your teen’s vaccinations are up to date before he heads off to college.

These should include meningococcal, pneumococcal and flu vaccinations, among others.

Vaccination is essential to college students given how quickly diseases can spread in shared spaces like dormitories, lecture halls and cafeterias.

Yes, preparing your teen to leave the nest can be nerve-racking but it is also an exciting time for both parents and teens.

Take steps to make this transition as smooth as possible.

By preparing ahead and thoroughly, you can support your teen in a healthy way as he continues to grow into adulthood.

Dr N. Thiyagar is a senior consultant paediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist. This article is courtesy of the Malaysian Paediatric Association’s Positive Parenting programme in collaboration with expert partners. For further information, please email [e-mail]. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.