Some trust in the power of money, and some in their own skills and talent. But the greatest life lessons are learned within the family.
The appeal of all the money you could save by doing home projects yourself, has turned many well-intentioned men into handymen. The MOTH (My Over-Thrifty Husband), has always been a do-it-yourself guy. He says, "Why pay someone to do something for you when you can do it yourself?"
On the whole, the projects went well: Changing faulty light switches, patching up the tiles on our driveway, fixing a toilet that is not flushing well, and some electrical wiring work.
He has many cool tools which he keeps in a nifty tool box. The bulky ones such as his sledgehammer, wheelbarrow, workbench and assorted ladders are kept in his man-shed.
The MOTH loves spending time in hardware stores, and never misses an opportunity to visit our local store. He finds untold pleasure at gazing at home-repair equipment, and is particularly intrigued by new gadgets which "could help with repairs around the house". If there was a way to save a buck, he would get it.
Every now and then, he feels the urge to take on a do-it-yourself project, and I would have serious doubts about what he might get himself into. But invariably, I would brush the thought aside and stand by my man.
Just the other day, I reported a mysterious puddle of water on the dressing room floor. Ever ready to rescue a damsel in distress, he came to investigate and assess the situation. He shone his flashlight and found the menacing culprit: An old joint at the pipe below the sink was dripping water surreptitiously from within the sink cabinet.
What started out as an innocuous morning DIY project cost him some stress and aching muscles. It wasn't easy to manoeuvre his 70-year-old body below the sink, and the leak was at an odd angle.
The flustered handyman persevered amid grunts and bits of swearing. After an hour of hard labour, he let out a holler which I recognised as a failed mission. The guy was grief-stricken. It was a holler thick with frustration and misery. When I heard that holler followed by a clanging of spanners, I knew he was about to give up in despair. Then by some divine blessing, he managed to stop the pipe from leaking, and emerged from the struggle with a victorious smirk.
Family is the one group of people with whom we can put aside our bravado and reveal our vulnerability. Sometimes the situation necessitates defying your own frugal habits. Sometimes it is easier to let the professional do the job and we just pay them for their expertise.
But for the homegrown handyman, solving sticky problems around the house is akin to a validation of masculinity. Moreover, as he says, "You think the plumber wants to come for a small job such as this?"
In the ebb and flow of family life, there is a need for a strong family support system. Thus we should pay attention to the emotional well-being of the family, to help expand the other in order to increase their confidence and ability to accomplish things.
When you have a home, there's always something that needs fixing, and the maintenance is ongoing. If it isn't plumbing, it's the stuck sliding windows that need new rollers, a creaking ceiling fan that nags for attention, a faulty doorbell and pests that range from pooping bats to scurrying rats in the wet kitchen.
With his to-do list growing by the day, the MOTH adopts a sense of indispensability and the aura of a pro. And with his imaginary cape flapping, he asked me to observe how he unclogged the toilet. Still holding on to a long mop, he said, "When I'm dead and gone, at least you know how to do it."
That made me feel like I would outlive all the local plumbers. But I knew better than to say this thought aloud. In the spirit of appreciation, I replied, "Well done, thanks!"
I should indeed be grateful that my live-in handyman is only an arm's length away. It is true that the plumber, electrician and carpenter are usually not interested in small jobs, and it is difficult to get them to come and do petty home repairs. And it's a good thing that the MOTH is fascinated by all those shiny new tools he sees in the hardware store, and has amassed an arsenal of DIY equipment to make any handyman proud.
Many lessons are learnt on the home ground where the cheers are loud and the opponents are inanimate objects. As family, we are called to serve each other in ways that may not make sense to the outside world but mean much to us.
Among the family members, we need to pick a leader to hold the team together. In my household, we unanimously voted the MOTH to be our all-time hero, the defender of home and hearth. And all self-respecting homemade kings know a thing or two about simple home repairs.
The family hero is assigned unenviable tasks such as checking out the incessant buzzing sound of the water pump which signals a leak somewhere. The MOTH traced it to a damp patch on the ceiling. It was a challenge to go up to the attic to investigate. His extendable ladder is heavy and hauling it is hernia-inducing. But somebody "has to bell the cat" and the onus fell upon our homemade king. So he wore a face mask, tool belt, working gloves, and climbed into the attic which was filthy with bat droppings.
He shone his flash light and saw a spray of water like a small shooting fountain at the pipe where there was a joint.
The problem had to be dealt with immediately. He scoured his tool box for the right gadgets to stop the leak. Going into the dark and dusty attic is a self-abnegating act of domestic heroism. His secret weapon – duct tape – has saved many similar situations.
His penchant for DIY and money-saving habits are legendary. Sometimes he is just doing the needful, solving each maintenance problem as it presents itself.
As the only male in the family, the MOTH has shouldered all the heavy, tough and technical work in and around the house. It has not been easy but I'm glad that so far there has not been any untoward incidents in his do-it-yourself schemes, except for the occasional holler and jarring expletives directed at unwieldy objects.
Mary Eu is a retiree who has a passion for writing. When she is not prowling the shopping mall looking for a dress to scream into, she can be seen reading, writing or home decorating.
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