Lonely journey of raising a neurodivergent child

THE alarming stabbing incident at a school in Banting, Selangor, earlier this month and the ensuing social media rumours hit a painful truth for a mother of an autistic child like myself (“Teen arrested over school stabbing in Banting”, The Star, July 7; online at bit.ly/4bRKm4p).

Watching online commentators instantly weaponise the situation was deeply disheartening. But as the dust settles, we need to look past the online noise and talk about what this case teaches us.

The young suspect is an autistic teenager navigating severe mental distress and a broken family environment. What happened with her is a stark lesson in how little our society truly understands about neurodiversity.

Police investigations revealed that while the suspect harboured deep grievances against classmates she believed were bullying her, actual systemic bullying was ruled out.

To many people, this disconnect is confusing.

But to those of us who live with autism every day, it is a familiar and heart-wrenching reality.

Autistic children often struggle to decode social cues, tone, and peer dynamics. What a neurotypical teenager might dismiss as minor playground friction or awkward teasing can feel intensely hostile, overwhelming, and threatening to an autistic kid.

Autistic children do not process social connections the way other people do. Without early and structured support, these experiences can spiral into trauma as they grow up.

Raising a neurodivergent child in a world built for the neurotypical is an incredibly lonely journey. Families like mine constantly carry the weight of public judgment.

When a crisis hits, what we desperately need from our community is an extended hand of support. True empathy means recognising the daily struggles of these households and offering grace rather than rushing to place blame.

This is my plea as a mother: If we want to reduce the trauma neurodivergent children face, we must start by changing how we react. We must stop the immediate rush to judge and demonise these children in public forums when a crisis occurs. The online witch hunts only deepen their isolation and compound an already fragile mental state.

We also need to actively foster inclusive environments in our schools. Rather than treating behavioural struggles as mere discipline issues, structured support must be allocated to help both neurotypical and autistic students bridge these communication gaps.

Most importantly, there must be accountability for reckless online commentary.

True progress lies in building a society kind enough to listen to and protect vulnerable children before they reach a breaking point.

Remember that behind every neurodivergent child is a family quietly fighting a battle you know nothing about

Be empathetic.

ASSOC PROF DR AZYYATI MOHD SUHAIMI

Puncak Alam, Selangor