Costly lesson for young mum

Woman loses baby after heeding advice from chatgroup members on childcare.

WHEN I saw dozens of unread messages in the group chats I joined, I knew instantly some people had sought advice from others in our chat group again.

Their questions vary from general topics such as food, childcare, school and flight information to serious stuff like certificate or permit-related issues, health and government policies.

It seemed that seeking help or views from chat groups has become a norm for some people, instead of finding out answers from the authorised channels.

They were also those who take the easy way out by asking for phone numbers or addresses of certain places from the group when these information is just one click away on the smart phone.

This reminds me of a hilarious conversation I had with a reader many years ago.

It was during the pre-smartphone days when readers would call up the press for information including sport games and 4D results.

Once a man called up the office, asking for the contact number of a ministry. I asked him to dial 103, a tele-yellow pages service by Telekom.

He answered: “To call 103, I have to pay RM2 but calling you only cost me 10 sen.”

Cost saving and convenience have made people resort to the easiest way for answers.

A young mother from the southern Guangdong province learnt a costly lesson when she lost her three-month-old baby girl.

The mother – known merely as Xia – joined a WeChat group with 124 members who participated in a programme where so-called childcare consultants provided guidance on how they could teach their babies to sleep alone or make them sleep on their stomach.

She paid 2,000 yuan (RM1,240) for the course.

“Any teachers there?... urgent!

“She is crying, should I turn her over? I am worried my baby could suffocate, ” she asked in the group chat around 1pm on April 16.

Xia also uploaded a clip, taken from a surveillance camera, of the infant crying in the dark.

A few members of the group joined in, suggesting that she leaves the baby alone if her cries are not “too loud”.

One mother said she would not intervene immediately during daytime and would ignore her baby’s cries at night.

Xia continued uploading video clips of her baby’s condition as she asked for more advice.

From the clips, it is seen that the newborn – who is lying on her stomach – is struggling with one leg stuck in the gap of her baby crib.

Her head is buried in the quilt. She tried to raise her head a few times but was too weak to do so.

The baby stopped moving after an hour but the mother was still on her chats.

“There’s no sound from her anymore, ” she said.

A few people cheered, saying her baby had learnt the technique. Xia thanked them for the help and the chats stopped there.

An hour later, she returned to the group and said: “She is dying, she is not breathing, her lips turned purple, what should I do?”

She also posted a picture of a patch of bloodstain on the quilt.

Members in the chat group asked her to perform CPR or call the emergency rescue helpline.

Apparently, when Xia was preparing to feed her daughter, she spotted blood flowing from her nose.

The baby died. Her cause of death has yet to be determined. Police have stepped in to investigate the incident.

It was also not immediately known whether those who responded to Xia included childcare consultants in the group.

While condemning the company for providing unprofessional and irresponsible advice, furious netizens also blamed the mother for being careless.

According to The Beijing News, the company is run by a person who was not trained in the field, but obtained the knowledge from books and online articles.

The report said the company or its employees could not be located at the address registered with the authorities.

I am not a childcare expert and have never taken care of a baby, but my cousins let their children sleep on the stomach believing that is the best position.

But the question here is not about the sleeping position, it is the ignorance of the mother who would rather listen to others and let her baby cry for more than an hour.

A Shanghai-based paediatrician told the Global Times that infants below one year old are not encouraged to sleep on their stomach.

“If the baby vomits, such a position will cause an obstruction to the airway.

“It will increase the chance of sudden infant death syndrome, ” said the paediatrician, who preferred to stay anonymous, adding that it was best to follow the baby’s natural sleeping habits.